This chimp just realized he drained the bottle the lifeguards use to pee under a towel.
 

Deep breath, put it in your mouth & swallow...just like prison.
 

This was taken a fraction of a second before Derek broke into Act 2 Scene 1 of La Traviata...

"Pura siccome un angelo".

At which point, Danielle broke with her kissy lips and punched him in the nads.
 

This guy after a Smoot posting is a bigger let down than if Rage Against the Machine opened a high school jazz orchestra.
 

For him to make a face like that, I would hate to see where they put the second bottle.
 

CPD sound like a disease you should consult with your doctor about.
 

Meredith and Lorenzo were pleasantly oblivious to the porch beef that had spontaneously sprouted stout little legs and sauntered down the storefront bulkhead.
 

I'd like to point out the Heineken bottle in the background, browski!
 

Balthazar’s voice hit an octave he’d never thought possible as Gretchen’s talons burrowed their way into his hastily receding testicles.
 

Earnest left the fecal remnants on his chin as an everlasting reminder of the inherent dangers in looking up too fast while delivering a championship-caliber blumpkin to his cell-mate.
 

HATCHET TARGET
 

Nothing says class like drinking straight from a plastic bottle of vodka.
 

Ladies and gentle a new world record! Brad has just consumed 50 bottles of Cell Block D jizz in less than 60 seconds. Give him a hand.

Next up Brad will battle the Porch Beef while Sindee attempts to pull the bottle from Brad's mouth through his asshole.
 

@ Rapetime:

Thats tequila baby. Bottom shelf, rotgut, tequila.

Hence the look of, "that burn just doesn't feel right..." Which, thanks to Maria, is the exact same reason he is drinking said tequila.
 

You know, if you turn your your toes inward, the ass rape doesn't hurt as bad. Try standing pigeon toed and then clench your butt cheeks together. It's an old prison trick this guy will need.
 

@jacques
Why would you know that?
 

I've paid my dues to society. True, I'm not allowed to come within 500 feet of a school or playground, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to judge me.
 

"It's totally fine, just keep drinking. My friends are meeting us at your place with the van." Shokingly Brad woke up the next morning spooning porch beef with no TV or furniture.
 

hahaha awkwarrrrd...
 

Sauza...classy. Plastic bottle...classier still. And do I see an imposter? Ubiquitous STYROFOAM cup?!

Douche fail...is there anything worse? (I know the answer is yes... )
 

Michelle Rodriguez and Paul Walker drown their sorrows on the set of ‘The Fast and the Furious VII: Careening Careers.
 

I suspect he paid about $175 for that plastic bottle of mexican piss.

'Cause douchebags roll like that.
 

This guy would totally get a notta-pass if not for that chin dribble....His hott's kissy face sucks too.
 

Hey, there's nothing wrong with a plastic bottle.
 

Jacques,

Or an alpaca farm, right?
 

@Sad Party Robot

There are a lot of wine students in Boston.
 

@Anon ^12:54

Seriously?

Dude has frosted tips drooping like parokeet feathers down his forehead.

Dude has a rose/frog/what-the-f*ck tattoo on the inside of his left wrist. I assume its something he concentrates on when he jerks off left handed.

Dude has a bald pussy-smooth shaved chest.

Dude's girlfriend has the look that says "Take the picture already, his cum is curdling in my mouth."

Chin dribble is perhaps the least of his douchal projections.

And by projections I mean the vomit he most certainly hurled at the photographer standing some six feet away after chugging away at that bottle of Luchador rinse.
 

Whoa dude, it tastes just like my ass.
 

She's got that come-on-boy-give-me-your-best-shot kind of look.
 

A landing strip on the chin is worth several strands of bleached hair on the forehead
 

I'll have whatever that monkey in fins in the background is having.
 

i guess at some point the chin dribble just became too unworthy of major mock. it's like, chin dribbles are the new Arthur Kade.
 

I think one of the lowest moments one can have as an alcoholic is to drink something with cigarette butts floating in it, and not care.

And then I see pics like this and I realize there are worse things.
 

The Sauza was a luxury, but Vinnie stilled preferred the heady rush of a Scope buzz...
 

Classier mescal and tequila products have the maguey worm in the bottle. This one has a cigarette butt.

What's wrong, Chase? Couldn't afford Pepe Lopez? Sauza has gone downhill.

I'd do shots off her navel, though.
 

Ever wonder what the fuck was up with parents in 1990 naming their kids after verbs (like "Chase" or "Dock") or occupations (like "Hunter")? Seriously, wasn't John good enough for your little darling?

As for you urban parents, what were you smoking when you decided to put the modifier, "La" in front of your kid's name? Why name him after a city in Japan? Why name her Keesha or Marq*E? Unless your child plays in the NBA, you've stigmatized him to the unemployment line. She's just going to wear too small jeans and brag that she's "thick in all the right places."

Think, parents!
 

Vertical Dirty Sanchez
 

Oh I get it. It's like a rain gutter for the booze when you're too drunk to drink it from the bottle properly.