Hot Chicks with Douchebags: Friday Haiku

Friday, November 20, 2009

Friday Haiku

Sneery Goose Runner
Almost pulls "Double Shocker,"
Needs index to hold.

Frosted glass at night
In a Seventies basement
Side boob and lip gloss

-- Publius Choadius Naso

Spring Break trip mistake
Got on plane to Russia, oops
Still met bags with booze

-- Dr. DB

Latin goblin bags
Vanilla chocolate goose
Hots drink to endure.

-- The 'Baggernaut

Three hotts in a room
Douchebag Pack encircle them
Forsake all hope, run!

-- Hector, Tamer of Douches

It's Los Stooges Tres.
Left to right, there's Moe, Curly,
and El Carne de Porch.

-- "Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock

El Chupacabra
turns his back on tequilla
por que, amigo?

-- Douche Wayne

# posted by Douchebag1 @ 7:02 AM

Comments:

Frosted glass at night
In a Seventies basement
Side boob and lip gloss

# posted by

Publius Choadius Naso : 7:05 AM

El Chupacabra
turns his back on tequilla
por que, amigo?

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 7:06 AM

Latina Gina,
saving herself for marriage;
goose neck doesn't count.

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 7:08 AM

Speedy Gonzalez
holds up fingers to rep how
long he lasts in bed.

# posted by

"Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock : 7:13 AM

Trabajo chicas,
those drinks don't pay for themselves,
neither does Carlos.

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 7:13 AM

Girls wear low cut shirts
To make their breast look bigger
Biggest boob: back left

# posted by

Archidoucheis : 7:14 AM

Half orange, half punch
And by that of course I mean
Her skin and his face

# posted by

saulgoode42 : 7:14 AM

After wearing the
spandex in the ring, lucha-
dores are manly, right?

# posted by

"Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock : 7:15 AM

Punchable douche lips;
The real reason Mexican
Wrestlers wear face masks.

# posted by

Captain Bringdown : 7:17 AM

"Yo homes!", Chico spoke.
"I hope her taco is pink
like her bloated lips."

# posted by

"Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock : 7:17 AM

This post has been removed by the author.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:19 AM

Cholo-bags hate Axe,
the stink reminds them of the
filth of San Paolo.

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 7:20 AM

What do I see there
Chica in gold has mustache
Dirty sanchez, no?

# posted by

The Donger : 7:20 AM

ha ha, douche wayne

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:21 AM

Don't drink the water
should include all liquids for
these senoritas.

# posted by

"Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock : 7:21 AM

Designer vodka
Like motor oil, it tastes like
shit, lubes your piston.

# posted by

Captain Bringdown : 7:22 AM

The Padres game is
canceled today instead we
bring you "El Suciedad".

# posted by

"Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock : 7:24 AM

Tupperware party
New ways to use plastic bins
Later use for barf

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 7:25 AM

Three cute latinas
Hover around the vodka
Must get drunk to hang

~JUSTIN

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:25 AM

Spring Break trip mistake
Got on plane to Russia, oops
Still met bags with booze

Dr. DB

# posted by

Dr. DB : 7:25 AM

Andrew Zimmern Douche
Ponders his last Bizarre meal...
"Douche Hott al'Orange"

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:25 AM

It's Los Stooges Tres.
Left to right, there's Moe, Curly,
and El Carne de Porch.

# posted by

"Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock : 7:27 AM

The gates of Hades
Open wide to welcome in
My bleeding eyeballs

# posted by

Hector, Tamer of Douches : 7:28 AM

The real "shocker" is
that those three guys entered the
country legally.

# posted by

"Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock : 7:28 AM

Orange shirt wuss snarls
Phil's rotten hard boiled egg fart
Still wet on his chin

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 7:29 AM

One young, two old guys
Hotts only there for the booze
Threesome among dudes

# posted by

MC 900 Foot Douchebag : 7:29 AM

Late night, Miami
Paco is flashing "susto"
Spanish word for shock

~JUSTIN

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:30 AM

Latin goblin bags
Vanilla chocolate goose
Hots drink to endure.

# posted by

The 'Baggernaut : 7:31 AM

Three hotts in a room
Douchebag Pack encircle them
Forsake all hope, run!

# posted by

Hector, Tamer of Douches : 7:32 AM

Monkey love on left
Makes Bald Tito want to join
in. Girls could care less.

# posted by

Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche : 7:32 AM

Three cute latinas
Pretend to like three greaseballs
Run away with booze

~JUSTIN

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:32 AM

Brunette latina
Likes to play practical jokes
Leaves them glass of pee

~JUSTIN

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:33 AM

If there were ever
a time to support border
control, it is now.

# posted by

"Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock : 7:34 AM

Bald Tito wants to
Join in the party going on
Green card expires soon.

# posted by

Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche : 7:35 AM

In Mexico it
seems that blue jeans are the pant
of choice among folk.

# posted by

"Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock : 7:36 AM

Orange choad with Goose
Hopes to suck on Sancho's balls
When picture is done.

# posted by

Hector, Tamer of Douches : 7:36 AM

The local branch of
The United Farm Workers
Takes a break from grapes

# posted by

Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt : 7:36 AM

Hott in brown makes an
"S" with her curves; douche makes an
asterisk with hands

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:37 AM

Blond hott in back says
"I'm just here for the free drinks."
Douches stay unfulfilled.

# posted by

Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche : 7:37 AM

Mexican New Year
Smells better than this wreckage.
Eau de Burned Tires.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:39 AM

Marcus from HR
is too shy for Brown Hott, so
rubs her butt with his

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:39 AM

Hot three way action
No one with cockk invited
Snarler's cool wid it

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 7:40 AM

Guys, douche knows no race
Commenting on race is like
Special Olympics

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:40 AM

Smiley Hott has a
plan. Orange douche doesn't know
ass will "run with Goose."

# posted by

Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche : 7:41 AM

The money Marie
Sends home each month gets spent on
This stupid bullshit.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:43 AM

Dispeptic bald guy
Prepares to let go an "Urp"
Designs new t-shirt

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 7:43 AM

Is that Apple Juice
Mixed with Goose? This is called a
blackout on all counts.

# posted by

Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt : 7:45 AM

This picture is tough...
The Douche isn't that douchey,
And the Hott is "meh."

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:47 AM

Disembodied Hott
Turns my taquito into
A big burrito.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:49 AM

Sidney Frank chuckled
Sold the Goose to Bacardi
For $2 Billion cash

Now rolls in his grave
To see this choad mishandle
His beloved juice

# posted by

Wedgie : 7:51 AM

Real life "Losin' It"
Is even worse than movie.
Need more Spanishfly.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:52 AM

White dress shirt douche pees
in Brown Hott's butt, passes long cocck
between his own legs

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:55 AM

Last haiku made no
sense--this picture is a tough
one to riff off of.

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:56 AM

Agreed Mr. White,
Not much inspiration here.
Need Fishslap-type pic.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:57 AM

I just thought up a
codename for yellow shirt hott:
She's Mel A. Nomas

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:57 AM

"Juice and Goose are great!"
says put in orange. Bald
Tito thinks he's gay.

# posted by

Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche : 7:58 AM

Mel. A. Nomas wants
to say, "Mr. White makes me
twitchy in my loins!"

# posted by

Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche : 8:01 AM

C'mon DB1,
A fuckin' "Losin' It" ref?
That was a winner!

# posted by

boatbutter : 8:01 AM

One more Haiku, Boss!
For no other reason than 'cuz
My ass showed up late

Sock curses his work
And sullenly climbs into
The FailiCopter

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:03 AM

@Doc Bunsen

At first, excitment
Then Mel realized that twitching
was from syphilis

# posted by

Mr. White : 8:04 AM

"Bring three more bottles!"
Not that easy to fill a
Samurai Scrote shot...

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:04 AM

Yankee's World Series
afterparty got crazy,
Melky throws shocker.

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 8:05 AM

Another party
By Latin-Americans:
"Fuck You Lou Dobbs" Bash!

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:07 AM

Call 911
Delectable hott in jeopardy
From destable scrotez
In basement

# posted by

I R A Darth Aggie : 8:08 AM

Running with the goose
Fester tries to cop a feel
Daughter's twenty-first!

# posted by

Rumple4Skin : 8:09 AM

Boatbutter, great "Losin' It" reference!

This must be the prelude to The Gangbang!!

# posted by

Rumple4Skin : 8:11 AM

Douche Machine's rhythm
is gonna get you--tonight!
Dum dum.. dum dum dum!

-Bagnonymous

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:11 AM

Douchey Bleethy scrum.
Andrew Zimmern douche looks on,
Juan-Pablo macks on.

Tight packed, smelly group.
Seven people, two employed.
Friday every night.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:12 AM

"Fuck you Lou Dobbs" bash....hahaha

# posted by

Justin : 8:16 AM

The cranberry juice
Is for the yeast infections
From being peed in.

# posted by

boatbutter : 8:20 AM

It seems so fitting
'Bags and Hotts sucking booze from
Large baby bottles

# posted by

Bob : 8:22 AM

Surprises me yet
Despite the taint, still I yearn
Hottie Suckle Thigh

# posted by

Bob : 8:25 AM

Watch out there douchebags
Gold shirt 'girl' really post-op
Robert Carradine

# posted by

El Queso : 8:26 AM

Tres damas lindas
con tres pinches babosos
iVete, ganso, ve!

Translation:
Three pretty ladies
with three fuccen jackasses
Run, goose, run!

# posted by

Genital Electric : 8:59 AM

Sideboob aplenty,
...

I got nothing this week

# posted by

End the Haberdouchery : 9:02 AM

How many fingers
am I holding up? Shut the
fuck up you douchebag.

-noobbag

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:14 AM

Haiku has a set
pattern of five-seven-five.
Mine is not that. Ha.

# posted by

"Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock : 9:16 AM

Hey, istn't that the
Jewish guy from Sex and the
City in the back?

-noobbag

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:18 AM

My Excel spreadsheet
Has 2 rows and 3 columns
To track my scroteness.

-noobbag

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:22 AM

I sneer at the sight
of these 3 luscious ladies
because i'm a pud.

-noobbag

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:24 AM

The stormtrooper clones
mack on unsuspecting hotts
Emperor displeased

# posted by

YodaDouche : 9:45 AM

Hangover precludes
My chance at front page. Stop drinking?
I should. But I can't.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 9:57 AM

@ Crucial 9:57

Regarding haiku:
Eight syllables in second line
Must have had rough night

# posted by

Justin : 10:15 AM

There is a balm in
Gil-e-ad, but it sure ain't
what they're consuming.

# posted by

Whoop-di-douche : 10:34 AM

The hoochie-coochie
factor of 'Goose, boobs and an-
drogens coheres well.

# posted by

Whoop-di-douche : 10:44 AM

Ancient Mayan ways
find renewal in tits and
vodka ritual.

# posted by

Whoop-di-douche : 10:49 AM

What is the mascot
for Golden Valley, MN do-
ing in Mexico?

# posted by

Whoop-di-douche : 11:12 AM

Grey Goose swilling bags
Just in from Armenia
The bleeths are intrigued

# posted by

BillDouchiest the Wild Swine : 11:38 AM

Tell you what, mofos,
These bags aint from Ireland
Run for the border

# posted by

BillDouchiest the Wild Swine : 11:40 AM

This is why I chose
To stab myself in the eyes
Beats trying Haiku

# posted by

BillDouchiest the Wild Swine : 11:41 AM

Three drunken roadies
From Toto's Fahrenheit tour
Can't pronounce "Toto"

# posted by

BillDouchiest the Wild Swine : 11:43 AM

"That is a white shirt,"
I said to bag on the left.
"Are there men's sizes?"

# posted by

BillDouchiest the Wild Swine : 11:45 AM

Douchebags buy Grey Goose
Because they'll believe anything
They read in Maxim

# posted by

BillDouchiest the Wild Swine : 11:46 AM

I feel uninspired
Can't conceive a witty verse

I hate these haikus

# posted by

Jacques Doucheteau : 12:37 PM

Does this mean I have to change vodka brands?
The only bottle service I use is at home.. but it is primarily GG.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:24 PM

They all can smell it
Taco Bell shart in boxers
Orange shirt dealt it.

# posted by

Ulyses V. Homer : 9:16 PM

Orange nipples on goose
Extracted from Cheeto Man?
Arouses faux douche.

# posted by

I Smell Like Whisky : 9:18 PM

Singer from band Stain'd
Gathers with the last remnants
Of his dumb fan base.

# posted by

Bukkaki the Benevolent : 9:20 PM

Business casual
For the dude on the left side
An awkward moment.

# posted by

The Smelvin's : 9:22 PM

So, I strike again
While you all slumber like babes
You all bow to meeeeee!

Ahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!!!

# posted by

YES, THAT MUTHUFUCKA! : 9:23 PM

party for F-list
celebs. F as in FAIL. go
jump in a lake, scrotes.

# posted by

Steve L. : 3:22 AM

Chicks here for one man
Faux hawk, big watch and sun tan
nice ass - want a shot?

# posted by

TIM! : 9:44 AM

Three greacy 'ombre's'
Three travelin hotts,
Where to find a drink,
To avoid this Douchie shot.

Regards,
Douche Pitt

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:42 AM

Friday, November 20, 2009

Friday Haiku

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