Monday, November 02, 2009
HCwDB of the Week
Our last weekly before what's shaping up as an epic Monthly. Make it count.
Here's your nominees:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Truckstop Pudwick and Shana
The Trucker Pud is all sorts of ass-kick-worthy Ed Hardy aging porch beef douche-poo.
There's just something about his smug expression and hott fondle that encapsulates the HCwDB 'tude, and for that, he is more (less) than the sum of his Hardy Parts.
I'm also pleased with the name "Truckstop Pudwick."
I'm not sure why, but tell me it doesn't summon the stench of beef jerky and cigarettes.
Shana is purity of hott fondle hott water bathing bath bubble grabby boobie tap dancing ass cheekathon.
I have no idea what I just wrote.
And yet, it is appropriate.
But enough to win the Weekly? We shall see.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Big Ben 'Bag
The second in our "Pud" collection of bar trolling ass clowns in this Weekly, Big Ben 'Bag brings the classic ubiquitous "Devil's Horn" 'bag hand gesture along with his alliterative name. And lets not forget Pic #2,, which confirms Holy White Triangle in the Book of Revelation.
As the Sideways Peace Sign and the Ubiquitous Shocker give way to new and more obnoxious 'bag hand gestures, the "Devils Horns" is like the secondary classic rock classics of the oeuvre.
Like Jethro Tull's "Aqualung."
Never got its props, and was overshadowed by its flashier competitors like songs by the Beatles, Stones and the Who. But Aqualung is still in rotation on classic rock stations across the country, and always will be.
That's my crappy Monday morning analogy, and I'm sticking to it.
Woe, lest I forget the genius of the Holy White Triangle, that calls to me to work overtime to buy her an expensive car before she divorces me anyway.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Bagpoleon Complex and Josephine
Do not let Bagpoleon fool you as a nottadouche.
Sure there's no major hand gestures, no kissy lips, and no cap tilt.
But Six Pound Watch, Jesus bling at the pool, and hint of chin pube all suggest uber-scrote.
But the piece de resistance: Groin Shave Reveal.
That's right. GSR. One of the worst of the 2009 'bag moves.
The pic thankfully prevents searing our retinas through cropping, but the evidence does not lie.
And what can we say about Josephine? She is corporeal perfection dipped in angelic fairy dust, and topped off with a french tickler. I would read exerpts from Balzac to a crowd of angry neo-luddites just for the chance to be repeatedly slapped by the festering carcass of a fish she ate for dinner in late 2005.
Uhm, she is hot.
(Dis)honorable mention to The Theory of Mandanativity, who just missed the cut, as well as The Fingerbag.
Which coupling has the right stench of douche-poo and tasty hott to create a dialectic of meaning that would make Hegel proud?
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Here's your nominees:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Truckstop Pudwick and Shana
The Trucker Pud is all sorts of ass-kick-worthy Ed Hardy aging porch beef douche-poo.
There's just something about his smug expression and hott fondle that encapsulates the HCwDB 'tude, and for that, he is more (less) than the sum of his Hardy Parts.
I'm also pleased with the name "Truckstop Pudwick."
I'm not sure why, but tell me it doesn't summon the stench of beef jerky and cigarettes.
Shana is purity of hott fondle hott water bathing bath bubble grabby boobie tap dancing ass cheekathon.
I have no idea what I just wrote.
And yet, it is appropriate.
But enough to win the Weekly? We shall see.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Big Ben 'Bag
The second in our "Pud" collection of bar trolling ass clowns in this Weekly, Big Ben 'Bag brings the classic ubiquitous "Devil's Horn" 'bag hand gesture along with his alliterative name. And lets not forget Pic #2,, which confirms Holy White Triangle in the Book of Revelation.
As the Sideways Peace Sign and the Ubiquitous Shocker give way to new and more obnoxious 'bag hand gestures, the "Devils Horns" is like the secondary classic rock classics of the oeuvre.
Like Jethro Tull's "Aqualung."
Never got its props, and was overshadowed by its flashier competitors like songs by the Beatles, Stones and the Who. But Aqualung is still in rotation on classic rock stations across the country, and always will be.
That's my crappy Monday morning analogy, and I'm sticking to it.
Woe, lest I forget the genius of the Holy White Triangle, that calls to me to work overtime to buy her an expensive car before she divorces me anyway.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Bagpoleon Complex and Josephine
Do not let Bagpoleon fool you as a nottadouche.
Sure there's no major hand gestures, no kissy lips, and no cap tilt.
But Six Pound Watch, Jesus bling at the pool, and hint of chin pube all suggest uber-scrote.
But the piece de resistance: Groin Shave Reveal.
That's right. GSR. One of the worst of the 2009 'bag moves.
The pic thankfully prevents searing our retinas through cropping, but the evidence does not lie.
And what can we say about Josephine? She is corporeal perfection dipped in angelic fairy dust, and topped off with a french tickler. I would read exerpts from Balzac to a crowd of angry neo-luddites just for the chance to be repeatedly slapped by the festering carcass of a fish she ate for dinner in late 2005.
Uhm, she is hot.
(Dis)honorable mention to The Theory of Mandanativity, who just missed the cut, as well as The Fingerbag.
Which coupling has the right stench of douche-poo and tasty hott to create a dialectic of meaning that would make Hegel proud?
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 7:03 AM 
Comments:
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I must cast my ballot for The Bagpoleon Complex and Josephine because 1. She is hotter than fresh cat poo in a microwave and 2. Little Bags are the worst offenders. They try harder, because they have to. No hott fantasizes about 68'ing. Look at him, standing there, the hem of his little shorts probably wet from dragging the tiles around the pool; his little pecs popped out like two KFC drumsticks...why, I could just pick him up and hug him right this minute, then pat his head and send him off with a Wurther's.
Shorty's got my vote, even though I fear in this weekly that Bagpolean will meet his WaterPoo.
Shorty's got my vote, even though I fear in this weekly that Bagpolean will meet his WaterPoo.
Despite the Fear and Loathing instilled by The Bagpoleon Complex and his shaven nethers, I'm gonna have to go with the sloppy drunkenness and traditional pointing of the out of work Patrick Swayze stunt double and his sultry, tight dress wearing lady that inspires thoughts of black jack tacos.
Truckstop Pudwick and Shana FTW
Truckstop Pudwick and Shana FTW
Tough choice this week! However, I choose Bagpoleon & Josephine due to his extreme overcompensating little man complex and her incredible hottness (even if she is sucking in her tummy). I do thing Shana is hotter, but she probably deserves her old man 'bag since she has that look in her eyes that says she likes has banged countless older men - she is likely unredeemable and that should be a key component in being a true HCWD hott. Big Ben is undoubtedly a tool and the twins make me dream about four smooth chubby glistening lubricated thighs rubbing against each other, but he has a purse so he's probably not even interested in them. So, to recap, my vote is for Boner-part.
Bagpoleon FTW because Josephine is the answer to my call. What a biscuit!
Yes, thankfully the pic is cropped to avoid gazing at the dreaded man shave, but you may as well crop the little douchesquat out of the pic entirely.
Yes, thankfully the pic is cropped to avoid gazing at the dreaded man shave, but you may as well crop the little douchesquat out of the pic entirely.
josephine is quite simply one of the hottest women posted on this site(even the kanye shades don't bother me), and bagpoleon certainly holds his own. wee man and her hips for the win.
I am going with Bagpoleon FTW. Josephine is one of the hottest hotts in a long time and little guys just try so hard. Shaved groin? Check. Stupid plastic sunglasses? Check. Jesus bling, fedora and giant watch? Check, check and check. And she has a stomach I would eat breakfast, lunch and dinner off of while furiously fwoping.
My Vote goes to The Big Ben 'Bag. His hotts are unreal. I would caress their right arms ever so slightly, just enough to bring up goosebumps and then I would hurry away in a 5th grade bit of "She looked at me" style Embarrasment.
Could bagpolean be a Celeb-bag? He looks a bit like Scott Caan from the Ocean's Movies.
Could bagpolean be a Celeb-bag? He looks a bit like Scott Caan from the Ocean's Movies.
Tough call, and a hard choice made harder by a Halloween hangover. Trucker Pud exudes a raging douche aura tempered by Shana's hillbilly ass pear but I'm going with the BBB FTW. There is the promise of a sapphic interlude later on (check the sly thigh fondle by Holy White Triangle) when the girls realize that a man with more jewelry who takes longer to get read than they do probably won't please them they way they can please each other.
# posted by 
: 7:42 AM
: 7:42 AM
to get ready^ that should read. my central nervous system still hasn't quite recovered.
# posted by : 7:44 AM
: 7:44 AM
Josephine is probably the hottest bod to ever grace this site. Bagpolean is a major league bag, and the fact that he's Scott Caan seals the deal.
Bagpolean for the win!
I want to feed Josephine my leftover Halloween candy, starting with my "Oh Henry!"
Bagpolean for the win!
I want to feed Josephine my leftover Halloween candy, starting with my "Oh Henry!"
# posted by : 7:47 AM
: 7:47 AM
Outstanding weekly. All the hotts empirically hot; all the douches validated 100% poo.
Billy Barty once said "The general public thinks all little people are in circuses or sideshows. We have doctors, nurses, just about every field covered." That's right Billy. Short people have dreams. They go to college, get married, have careers, raise families. Unfortunately somebody forgot to tell Bagpoleon. Congratulations, now Douchebag can officially be added to the list of societal obstacles little people have so courageously ovecome.
For making Billy roll over in his Hostess Twinkies box, you get my vote for the Weekly.
And Josephine, glistening and glowing under the Las Vegas sun. You are so mind numbingly tight I could spend a quarter of my life bouncing off of your fine ass and willingly forgive you for getting my name wrong each and every joy filled day.
Billy Barty once said "The general public thinks all little people are in circuses or sideshows. We have doctors, nurses, just about every field covered." That's right Billy. Short people have dreams. They go to college, get married, have careers, raise families. Unfortunately somebody forgot to tell Bagpoleon. Congratulations, now Douchebag can officially be added to the list of societal obstacles little people have so courageously ovecome.
For making Billy roll over in his Hostess Twinkies box, you get my vote for the Weekly.
And Josephine, glistening and glowing under the Las Vegas sun. You are so mind numbingly tight I could spend a quarter of my life bouncing off of your fine ass and willingly forgive you for getting my name wrong each and every joy filled day.
My rage is oscillating so rapidly between these weekly candidates that I have to zoom in and focus on the details.
::focusing douchetection and gaydar signals in my scrotoscope:::
It has to be Big Ben and his bootylicious bar twins.
Her yellow dress shines its gorgeous rays across the galaxy of his overpriced doucheshirt. Even his oversized plastic star bling is pulled into their luscious orbitals.
It's also a vote against every guy who thinks wearing sink washers in his earlobes is attractive.
::focusing douchetection and gaydar signals in my scrotoscope:::
It has to be Big Ben and his bootylicious bar twins.
Her yellow dress shines its gorgeous rays across the galaxy of his overpriced doucheshirt. Even his oversized plastic star bling is pulled into their luscious orbitals.
It's also a vote against every guy who thinks wearing sink washers in his earlobes is attractive.
Truckstop Pud FTW. He's overly douchey and just too old to be still doing this shit.
# posted by : 8:02 AM
: 8:02 AM
I would have voted for Wish Ultralounge if DB1 would have included it as an option. I still feel slimy having viewed it, a day later.
Baggie for the weekly. GSR is a pet peeve of mine; only women should be allowed to get Brazilian bikini waxes.
PS: J Bone, nice shot of the great Bolo Yeung. He is now a pool guy at the Bellagio.
Baggie for the weekly. GSR is a pet peeve of mine; only women should be allowed to get Brazilian bikini waxes.
PS: J Bone, nice shot of the great Bolo Yeung. He is now a pool guy at the Bellagio.
Holy Melmac, Bagpoleon reminds me of a freshly shaven Alf. The guy is so small that he uses a sock as a sleeping bag and hang glides on Doritos.
Damn! Jamie Lynn Sigler has been hitting the P90X, and Tony Horton has been good to her.
Bagpoleon is probably the illegitimate son of Danny DeVito and Rue McClanahan. Pissed off for the grief that he took for being the son of The Penguin, he hit the gym and quit the lacrosse team at the tender age of 12.
Have you ever seen someone so bothered by his height? I bet he wears Herman Munster boots when he does commercials for JC Penney's.
He goes to the fair and can ride the trolley cars but takes his rage out on the hammer swing/feat of strength game.
Damn, how tall is he?
She can't be taller than 5'5", given the length of her midsection. He must be 4'9".
Zachary Roloff really hated being a midget.
Dang, Bagpoleon looks like the star of Rick Moranis' new joint:
"Honey, I Shrunk Lou Ferigno".
Bagpoleon wins but loses in life.
Damn! Jamie Lynn Sigler has been hitting the P90X, and Tony Horton has been good to her.
Bagpoleon is probably the illegitimate son of Danny DeVito and Rue McClanahan. Pissed off for the grief that he took for being the son of The Penguin, he hit the gym and quit the lacrosse team at the tender age of 12.
Have you ever seen someone so bothered by his height? I bet he wears Herman Munster boots when he does commercials for JC Penney's.
He goes to the fair and can ride the trolley cars but takes his rage out on the hammer swing/feat of strength game.
Damn, how tall is he?
She can't be taller than 5'5", given the length of her midsection. He must be 4'9".
Zachary Roloff really hated being a midget.
Dang, Bagpoleon looks like the star of Rick Moranis' new joint:
"Honey, I Shrunk Lou Ferigno".
Bagpoleon wins but loses in life.
It's been four score and a fortnight since a HCwDBotW has featured so much high quality hott. Navels, panty reveals, and asses as far as the eye can see. Lordy. And this HCwDBotW isn't light on 'baggery, either. Yucky.
This makes for a very tough call. I know cool short dudes and I've known a few with the 'plex. I hate them with a passion. Muscles and 'tude do not make up for your lack of height, 'Bagpoleon. Not that anyone cares how tall you are.
Josephine's thin but plump in all the right places physique rubs me the right way. Wait, that's just the bottom of my desk. She is very hot though. 'Bagpoleon needs to find himself a nice midget lesbian boy...and leave Josephine's navel to me.
'Bagpoleon + J. FTW.
AV
This makes for a very tough call. I know cool short dudes and I've known a few with the 'plex. I hate them with a passion. Muscles and 'tude do not make up for your lack of height, 'Bagpoleon. Not that anyone cares how tall you are.
Josephine's thin but plump in all the right places physique rubs me the right way. Wait, that's just the bottom of my desk. She is very hot though. 'Bagpoleon needs to find himself a nice midget lesbian boy...and leave Josephine's navel to me.
'Bagpoleon + J. FTW.
AV
# posted by : 8:20 AM
: 8:20 AM
My vote goes to Bagpoleon. He has spent years in the gym working on his overdeveloped abs. This shows his committment. He is also an early adopter of the groin shave reveal. That needs to be stopped. No one wants to see that junk. Josephine is a true beauty and has taken the place of Francine in a number of fantasies that are unspeakable. Bagpoleon has the hottest hott and that is always enough for my vote.
All worthy candidates this week, but I'm going to vote with my gut. And by "gut," I mean the area slightly lower than my gut.
Holy White Triangle + Whatever Bag May Be in That Pic (I haven't noticed) for the win.
Holy White Triangle + Whatever Bag May Be in That Pic (I haven't noticed) for the win.
An excellent assortment of hottness and douchebaggery. I am also mesmerized by Mr. White's triangular counterpart. I vote for that guy.
I've spent the MOST time masterbating to Josephine, and I plan on continuing this theme for at least tweleve more days.
My wiener has spoken, Josephine and Bagoleon FTW.
My wiener has spoken, Josephine and Bagoleon FTW.
Truckstop Pudwick FTW. Sure, he IS the most obvious 'bag to point out in a group so it'd be hard to miss him - even in a room FULL of 'bags. But that is also what makes him my choice. I believe even his pinky fingers whisper douchebag in the ears of every man he meets.
As far as Shana goes, she would be welcome to be a model for a sculpture I would create if I had any artistic talent in that form. And as such hers is none to argue about.
As far as Shana goes, she would be welcome to be a model for a sculpture I would create if I had any artistic talent in that form. And as such hers is none to argue about.
# posted by : 8:42 AM
: 8:42 AM
Bagpoleon C is short, we can all agree that his glasses are gay, and he probably got a free bowl of soup with that hat. But the most anger inducing characteristic of BPC is the GSR in proximity to Josephine. Why Josephine must you get so close to the little man with the low pants?
Bagpolean FTW, and by win I mean a short and smelly loss for Josephines dad.
Bagpolean FTW, and by win I mean a short and smelly loss for Josephines dad.
The one you call "Bagpoleon" was detained while hobbling off of a cruiseship in the American port of San diego, California. Because of his diminuitive stature none of our standard issue restraining devises fit properly. As such we were forced to call in one of our special agents, properly trained and equiped to manage little people. Note-to-file, Mr. Bagpoleon wasn't sporting a shaved groin prior to Gunter's arrival.
Mr. Bagpoleon is currently still in custody under investigation for possibly being this fellow.
As such, the entire Homeland Security Agency votes for Big Ben Bag FTW because duty to country demands that we waive our detectors over the Holy White Triangle and all that accompanies it.
Mr. Bagpoleon is currently still in custody under investigation for possibly being this fellow.
As such, the entire Homeland Security Agency votes for Big Ben Bag FTW because duty to country demands that we waive our detectors over the Holy White Triangle and all that accompanies it.
# posted by : 8:54 AM
: 8:54 AM
When I first saw Shana, I exploded in my pants and then Ron Perlman's down-syndrome half-brother in the pink and Hardy almost clinched my vote until...BAGPOLEAN emerged from the lovely scented arm-pit of Jose-AHH-fine, a microcosm of the loveliest flowers and douche-pollen, the sunrays glinting off her baconstrip body and oily delicious juices and her forced smile that shows the rest of us onlookers that there is still hope. Bagpoleon FTW.
# posted by : 8:57 AM
: 8:57 AM
I cast my vote for the Holy White Triangle... but it doesn't matter, because whoever wins is going to get absolutely slaughtered in the monthly by Cheez and/or Poopaloompa.
# posted by : 8:58 AM
: 8:58 AM
Truckstop Pud for the win. Shana is way too hot to be hanging out w/Ed Hardy's Dad. What the hell is he pointing at, btw?
# posted by : 9:05 AM
: 9:05 AM
Truckstop Pud. If there was ever someone I wanted to buy a truck and hit with it it's that pud.
I'm still angry from seeing that a week ago.
I'm still angry from seeing that a week ago.
In my vote at the top o' the thread I failed to expressed the degree of hottitude that Josephine radiates horn-shine into the collective groin that makes up the members of this thread.
I would spoon-fight an angry bear with 7 rabid badgers clamped to it while on skates (me, not the bear) just for the priviledge of golly-huffing everything she keeps in her Miata's glovebox into my obscenely dialated chemically surgically stretched nostrils in the desperate hope that a microscopic scale of her shed skin, rooked loose while she absentmindedly scratched her nose, became lodged on one of these artifacts while she fished around looking for the Purell hand sanitizer after stopping in an unsanitary Chevron restroom off of I-10, would get sucked loose into my sinuses and become a wicked abcess of green and red gore; I would perfom this rite while Nipsey Russell, Olympic great Bruce Jenner, Abe Vigoda and Kim Jung Il all looked on in stern disapproval/secret jealosy.
I take that back. The bear on the skates, not me. And I want a gravy boat instead of a spoon. You can't fight a bear with a fuccen spoon.
Get off my ass.
I would spoon-fight an angry bear with 7 rabid badgers clamped to it while on skates (me, not the bear) just for the priviledge of golly-huffing everything she keeps in her Miata's glovebox into my obscenely dialated chemically surgically stretched nostrils in the desperate hope that a microscopic scale of her shed skin, rooked loose while she absentmindedly scratched her nose, became lodged on one of these artifacts while she fished around looking for the Purell hand sanitizer after stopping in an unsanitary Chevron restroom off of I-10, would get sucked loose into my sinuses and become a wicked abcess of green and red gore; I would perfom this rite while Nipsey Russell, Olympic great Bruce Jenner, Abe Vigoda and Kim Jung Il all looked on in stern disapproval/secret jealosy.
I take that back. The bear on the skates, not me. And I want a gravy boat instead of a spoon. You can't fight a bear with a fuccen spoon.
Get off my ass.
Wow, this is a week of heavyweights. Making it even harder is the fact that it's brunette, brunette x2, and brunette. God I love brunettes.
So it comes down to comparing the douches. From a quick count of traits du douche, BBB & shorty come out ahead of pud. However, I believe GSR seals the deal. Waxed chest is an easily displayed scrotrait, but the GSR takes it to a whole new level. May Bagpolean put the razor to better use in the nether region and self-castrate. Bagpole FTW.
-noobbag
So it comes down to comparing the douches. From a quick count of traits du douche, BBB & shorty come out ahead of pud. However, I believe GSR seals the deal. Waxed chest is an easily displayed scrotrait, but the GSR takes it to a whole new level. May Bagpolean put the razor to better use in the nether region and self-castrate. Bagpole FTW.
-noobbag
# posted by : 9:15 AM
: 9:15 AM
Ei see euw pointeeng at me, Pudwick. Brng it fukr! Cheez is best! Euw wil be BJ end I will be the Bear. Suk me uw trukdrivin duchbag! Eye wil make euw mi glorihol bich! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And Charleez sez she will stuf yor Shana's Holz too! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Pudwick for the win, but not as gud uf a win as Cheez.
Pudwick for the win, but not as gud uf a win as Cheez.
# posted by : 9:22 AM
: 9:22 AM
I choose you Josephine. That belly is made for lime Jello and my special sauce.
# posted by : 9:27 AM
: 9:27 AM
Truckstop Pudwick and Shana are the winners (?) this week. First of all, don't point at me Thomas Haden Douche. Your love for Ed Hardy and ironic tats have no business touching my future ex-wife Shana or "Danica Patrihott" Its my job to rub cocoa butter on her muffin ass after a day at the races.
At some point The Bagpoleon realized that he hit his peak. Yes, 7th grade was not kind. At this point he took his puny frame to a gym and asked the biggest Bohemoth there how he could be a little tank of spitfire musculature.
The Bohemoth showed him a world of protein shakes, body shavers and barbells, patted him on his little noggin and sent him on his way.
Somehow Josephine got mixed up in the equation.
And for this he gets the win. Josephine melts me like a bag of Milky Ways purchased for Halloween forgotten and left under the passenger seat on a 90 degree November 2cd. Yuck. Looks like a car wash run at lunchtime.
The Bagpoleon Complex and Josephine FTW
The Bohemoth showed him a world of protein shakes, body shavers and barbells, patted him on his little noggin and sent him on his way.
Somehow Josephine got mixed up in the equation.
And for this he gets the win. Josephine melts me like a bag of Milky Ways purchased for Halloween forgotten and left under the passenger seat on a 90 degree November 2cd. Yuck. Looks like a car wash run at lunchtime.
The Bagpoleon Complex and Josephine FTW
Truckstop Pudwick. The doucheface/point combo is bad enough, but with all that Ed Hardy crap and Shana's ass, there is no competition.
Truck Guy. Because she is the hottest thing I've seen on this site in a while.
# posted by : 9:42 AM
: 9:42 AM
This week is tough to call. All seem to be worthy of the weekly win. The hotts this week are spectacular and this needs to be the deciding factor. Shana, one of my all-time favorite girls names, is smoking hot. She looks like she maybe is into some naughty things, this I like. She knows the ropes and still chose Pudwick, thus I eliminate her.
The Holy White Triangle is super hott with a perfect smile. The white of her teeth match the white of her panties. Her thighs in pic #2 are cottage cheese free without being too muscular, in other words perfect suckle thigh. I am not convinced she is totally with Big Ben. Her body language confirms this theory. She keeps her boobies covered by her hair and her legs crossed in a futile way. Futile because I am giving her the benefit of the doubt and believe she is unaware of the panty peek she is giving.
Lastly we have Josephine. Josephine has an un- altered perfect body. She is thin and yet has curves in all the right places. Josephine has no bleeth indicators. Bagpoleans groin shave reveal should send her screaming from the pool. This coupling makes the least sense.
So, in a rather long winded vote it is Bagpolean for the win because he has no business pulling a hott like this and I am sick of the groin shaving reveal and wish to never see it again but I never get tired of seeing Josephine.
The Holy White Triangle is super hott with a perfect smile. The white of her teeth match the white of her panties. Her thighs in pic #2 are cottage cheese free without being too muscular, in other words perfect suckle thigh. I am not convinced she is totally with Big Ben. Her body language confirms this theory. She keeps her boobies covered by her hair and her legs crossed in a futile way. Futile because I am giving her the benefit of the doubt and believe she is unaware of the panty peek she is giving.
Lastly we have Josephine. Josephine has an un- altered perfect body. She is thin and yet has curves in all the right places. Josephine has no bleeth indicators. Bagpoleans groin shave reveal should send her screaming from the pool. This coupling makes the least sense.
So, in a rather long winded vote it is Bagpolean for the win because he has no business pulling a hott like this and I am sick of the groin shaving reveal and wish to never see it again but I never get tired of seeing Josephine.
Josephine indeed. She puts the hot in HOTT!
Bagpolean FTW, because we all win when Josephine is re-posted repeatedly.
Bagpolean FTW, because we all win when Josephine is re-posted repeatedly.
Wow - all hott, all scrote.
All rage inducing.
Well, truckstop bag is a fuckwit and an ornery drunk, so forget him.
So, between Big Ben and Bagpoleon, it's a toss up.
They both suck. Horribly. I detest them both.
So, then it's a question of the hotts. Josephine is right there with The Hourglass. I think if she ate a few sammiches and had her two lower ribs removed, she'd BE hourglass.
Then there's Ben's Babes. The Yellow Dress girl doesn't do it for me, but the Holy White Triangle rocks. She is sweetness and light.
I vote for Big Ben and the Holy White Triangle.
All rage inducing.
Well, truckstop bag is a fuckwit and an ornery drunk, so forget him.
So, between Big Ben and Bagpoleon, it's a toss up.
They both suck. Horribly. I detest them both.
So, then it's a question of the hotts. Josephine is right there with The Hourglass. I think if she ate a few sammiches and had her two lower ribs removed, she'd BE hourglass.
Then there's Ben's Babes. The Yellow Dress girl doesn't do it for me, but the Holy White Triangle rocks. She is sweetness and light.
I vote for Big Ben and the Holy White Triangle.
The fairest bunch of hotts to hit the weekly.. ever! Fingerbag's hot and HWT deserve a place in the hall of hott.
Fuck all the douches.
and by fuck I mean go medieval on their ass.
The weekly goes to big ben bag.
Israeli DB
Fuck all the douches.
and by fuck I mean go medieval on their ass.
The weekly goes to big ben bag.
Israeli DB
# posted by : 9:49 AM
: 9:49 AM
Outstanding compilation of creamy smooth hott and vile chunky poo, DB1. I absolutely loves me some Kate Beckinsale hott. Pudwick has the look of a dyspeptic Billy Bob Thornton with a flaring urinary tract infection. What he could possibly offer such a delectable serving a pure satin assness other than stubble burn and a lingering rash, I can't begin to imagine. And like the original smokin' hickbag hag, Angelina Jolie, Kate here probably has a raging case of the batshit crazies. She's super hott, he's super infectious. But not enough for a weekly without some corroborating evidence.
Moving on to #2, BBB shows us what a failed colonoscopy looks like. And Mysteriously Gravity-Defying Blue Dress is so hot you could warm tortillas on that couch for an hour after she gets up. Unfortunately, BBB is keeping his 'baghood on the safe side. Sure he's a tool, but he's a Black-and-Decker douche. He'll piss you off, but get's left behind when the Milwaukee and Porter douches like Gator and The Donk show up.
finally, Bagpoleon. I almost dismissed this Sly Stalone miniature, but he bring the one thing I absolutely loathe in the douchebag; the dreaded GSR. This is an unforgivable transgression, like farting during a blowjob. There is no reason outside of cancer surgery for a grown man to have his groin shaven and placed on display. Tack on the probably spindly Daffy Duck legs that accompany so many upper body queens and this guy becomes, like Corky before him, a living reminder that eugenics is not always a bad idea. Poor Josephine has to wear welding goggles so she isn't blinded by the glare off his front porch. Ah, Josephine, you could bounce a quarter off her stomach. And of course by "quarter", I mean "load".
Bagpoleon Complex for the weekly.
Moving on to #2, BBB shows us what a failed colonoscopy looks like. And Mysteriously Gravity-Defying Blue Dress is so hot you could warm tortillas on that couch for an hour after she gets up. Unfortunately, BBB is keeping his 'baghood on the safe side. Sure he's a tool, but he's a Black-and-Decker douche. He'll piss you off, but get's left behind when the Milwaukee and Porter douches like Gator and The Donk show up.
finally, Bagpoleon. I almost dismissed this Sly Stalone miniature, but he bring the one thing I absolutely loathe in the douchebag; the dreaded GSR. This is an unforgivable transgression, like farting during a blowjob. There is no reason outside of cancer surgery for a grown man to have his groin shaven and placed on display. Tack on the probably spindly Daffy Duck legs that accompany so many upper body queens and this guy becomes, like Corky before him, a living reminder that eugenics is not always a bad idea. Poor Josephine has to wear welding goggles so she isn't blinded by the glare off his front porch. Ah, Josephine, you could bounce a quarter off her stomach. And of course by "quarter", I mean "load".
Bagpoleon Complex for the weekly.
Many say that voters vote for a Presidential candidate with whom they would most like to "have a beer". Well, I vote for the weekly contestant that I would least like to have a beer with. And that would be Pudwick.
# posted by : 10:00 AM
: 10:00 AM
Tough call this week.
It's sad to think that Truckstop Pudwick once had the ambition of a being a singer/songwriter for the Freecreditreport.com band only to experience the reality of being shivved in a prison bathroom.
Out of sympathy to Shana, I vote Pudwick.
It's sad to think that Truckstop Pudwick once had the ambition of a being a singer/songwriter for the Freecreditreport.com band only to experience the reality of being shivved in a prison bathroom.
Out of sympathy to Shana, I vote Pudwick.
Truckstop pud. Only a complete and total scrotewank of the Nth degree would dare to wear that hat. This rectal wart of creature with it's ass cleavage chin is akin to those 25 cent novelty condoms you buy at truckstop bathrooms. Pointless existence, and really gross.
Shana is the most chocolate dippable hott by far. Her pseudo-bondage dress and Nice & Easy blue/black hair speaks of growing up in a trailer park outside of Provo, UT, and being inappropriately touched by Mommy's boyfriend. True, one could fixate on the legendary white triangle for eons, but I prefer my women damaged. Those girls haven't even seen their first R rated movie until late last year.
Yes, Josephine has a body so sculpted one of Bagpoleon's soldiers tried to shoot her nose off, but who really wants to have sex with a Gunther von Hagens exhibit anyway?
Shana is the most chocolate dippable hott by far. Her pseudo-bondage dress and Nice & Easy blue/black hair speaks of growing up in a trailer park outside of Provo, UT, and being inappropriately touched by Mommy's boyfriend. True, one could fixate on the legendary white triangle for eons, but I prefer my women damaged. Those girls haven't even seen their first R rated movie until late last year.
Yes, Josephine has a body so sculpted one of Bagpoleon's soldiers tried to shoot her nose off, but who really wants to have sex with a Gunther von Hagens exhibit anyway?
Big Ben 'Bag FTW. Dude has it all: matching ring and I-got-this-at-Mardi-Gras-the-real-one-in-NOLA-bitches necklace, veteran remembrance-style bracelet over mandana, obnoxious LA-inspired graphic t-shirt, watch, chin pubes, shaved eyebrow and--the clincher--a Dayrunner with wrist strap a la Aurthur Kade, 'cause you never know when he's gonna Get Noticed by someone.
Put that mess next to two hotts--one who is fast approaching bleeth and one just a beginner whose tentative booty reach and frozen smile say, perhaps, "This isn't what I thought it was going to be like"--and we have a weekly winner.
Put that mess next to two hotts--one who is fast approaching bleeth and one just a beginner whose tentative booty reach and frozen smile say, perhaps, "This isn't what I thought it was going to be like"--and we have a weekly winner.
Mmmmm, Bagpoleon for the win!
Lame he is!
Slip my large green schlong into Josephine I want.
Lame he is!
Slip my large green schlong into Josephine I want.
# posted by : 10:45 AM
: 10:45 AM
Truckstop Pudwick just told me to get off his lawn, what little there was under the trailer wheels.
Still, he's a lame redneck white trashmotherfucker, while Bagpolean is an incredible fucking douchebag!
Still, he's a lame redneck white trashmotherfucker, while Bagpolean is an incredible fucking douchebag!
# posted by : 10:47 AM
: 10:47 AM
GSR and hotty hottness overwhelm the Holy White Triangle and the "Jesus aren't you a little old for this schtick" Pudwickery. Bagpolean and Josephine FTW
# posted by : 10:51 AM
: 10:51 AM
@Jacuques Doucheteau^
So that was you trolling around outside my neighborhood in the Avis PT Cruiser.
Can't a guy tutor middle school kids in peace these days?
So that was you trolling around outside my neighborhood in the Avis PT Cruiser.
Can't a guy tutor middle school kids in peace these days?
They pirouette onto the scene with nary a concern for the public around them that might catch glimpse of such 'bag/hott peccadillo resulting in total encompassing nausea and anal leakage to all within a modicum proximity.
Bagpoleaon and Josephine FTW! And by FTW I mean such demonstrations of Newton's third law should be made completely illegal in all countries and provinces. For all time.
Bagpoleaon and Josephine FTW! And by FTW I mean such demonstrations of Newton's third law should be made completely illegal in all countries and provinces. For all time.
Bagpolean should win easily because his hott belongs in the hall.
The Fingerbag gets a second place write-in from me, because his hott is also hotter than that cat on the roof.
The Fingerbag gets a second place write-in from me, because his hott is also hotter than that cat on the roof.
# posted by : 11:06 AM
: 11:06 AM
REPORTER: Now that you've won the weekly, what are you going to do?
BAGPOLEON AND JOSEPHINE: We're going to 'Pacificbag Playland'!!!!!!!!!
BAGPOLEON AND JOSEPHINE: We're going to 'Pacificbag Playland'!!!!!!!!!
# posted by : 11:08 AM
: 11:08 AM
Ooh, tough choice this week. Pudwick is most a worthy candidate, but I have to go with Bagpolean ftw, because his hott is makes me think of cheesecake and kittens.
# posted by : 11:27 AM
: 11:27 AM
Yes, this week was a Hard choice.
And by Hard choice, Yes, Yellow/ Thigh/Vixen Smile and Innocent Smile/White Triangle made this Hard choice easy.
Now I could use a cleanup in Aisle 2.
Ohh...and the scrotebag part? Geezuz, how many pieces of douche do we need to count? 1)watch 2)bad arm-length tats 3)tiny chin pubes 4)wristdana 5) hand sign 6)an' a fuccen new use of a starfish in taintal fashion???
This BBB HOT/Douche team clearly FTW
And by Hard choice, Yes, Yellow/ Thigh/Vixen Smile and Innocent Smile/White Triangle made this Hard choice easy.
Now I could use a cleanup in Aisle 2.
Ohh...and the scrotebag part? Geezuz, how many pieces of douche do we need to count? 1)watch 2)bad arm-length tats 3)tiny chin pubes 4)wristdana 5) hand sign 6)an' a fuccen new use of a starfish in taintal fashion???
This BBB HOT/Douche team clearly FTW
While my earlier post was long winded, I failed to give any time to the douchebags, which is the other half of the equation.
Truckstop Pudwick is a douche no doubt. He steals his teen age sons clothes that his ex wife's new husband paid for. This he reasons he is doing for his own good. But truckstop doesn't do laundry and these Ed Hardy clothes are clean so what the hell wear them. Shana sees Ed Hardy gear and goes into bleeth overdrive. Truckstop points to his buddy to get some more drinks. Lucky douche.
Big ben is somewhat generic.
Bagpolean wins for groin shave reveal that we should mock until they pull up their fucking pants.
Truckstop Pudwick is a douche no doubt. He steals his teen age sons clothes that his ex wife's new husband paid for. This he reasons he is doing for his own good. But truckstop doesn't do laundry and these Ed Hardy clothes are clean so what the hell wear them. Shana sees Ed Hardy gear and goes into bleeth overdrive. Truckstop points to his buddy to get some more drinks. Lucky douche.
Big ben is somewhat generic.
Bagpolean wins for groin shave reveal that we should mock until they pull up their fucking pants.
Pudwick. There are three quality douches this week but the hat wins one. A real trucker/hick/hick trucker a la Cooter or Jerry Reed would have a CAT or similar worn chapeau, but Pud has a fairly new Ed Hardy model with a brim so firm you could hang barbells on it.
And rhinestones. Once I saw rhinestones he won the prize.
And rhinestones. Once I saw rhinestones he won the prize.
# posted by : 11:55 AM
: 11:55 AM
Bagpolean and Josephine FTW. Thank you again, boss, for such an awesome assortment of suckle thighs, cleave, nose and throats this past week.
Dang, another tough weekly.
Big Ben is full of poo and Holy White Triangle's hair is frustratingly in the way of her cleavite. Still, it is HOT chicks with douchebags, and he's got cuties, but hotness my divining rod shoots towards Shana and Josephine.
Between Shana and Josephine, the more exotic one has to get my vote, as smokin' as Josephine is, Shana has that look about her where you'd wind up in a wheelchair but with a permanent smile on your face and worth your new life of being called "Scooter." And Pudwick out bags Bagpoleon by tats, look, hat, point.
So Pudwick and [smokin'!] Shana FTW.
Big Ben is full of poo and Holy White Triangle's hair is frustratingly in the way of her cleavite. Still, it is HOT chicks with douchebags, and he's got cuties, but hotness my divining rod shoots towards Shana and Josephine.
Between Shana and Josephine, the more exotic one has to get my vote, as smokin' as Josephine is, Shana has that look about her where you'd wind up in a wheelchair but with a permanent smile on your face and worth your new life of being called "Scooter." And Pudwick out bags Bagpoleon by tats, look, hat, point.
So Pudwick and [smokin'!] Shana FTW.
Maybe it was all the LSD my pedophile neighbor laced his Halloween candy with, but this weekly has me seeing strange patterns. Is there a conspiracy afoot? I must enter the maze and solve this riddle.
As usual, there are THREE HCwDB entries in the weekly.
Only one of the 'bags has a THREE-word appellation though: Big Ben 'Bag.
Each component of his name has THREE letters too.
Ben is with only two hotts, but 1+2=THREE.
How many pointing fingers are there? THREE.
Why THREE? Is this coincidence? Should I not have eaten a grapefruit earlier? Hmm...
Consulting my dusty scrolls, it seems that the ancient Egyptians used the triangle-shape to denote the number THREE in their alphabet. Artisans, merchants, and smiths wrote in regular triangles, but in correspondence to and from the Pharaoh all triangles had to be filled-in white out of reverence to the great leader on pain of death.
Thus, the genesis of the Holy White Triangle! It is the sign of the Pharaoh and not to be disobeyed.
Big Ben 'Bag FTW!
As usual, there are THREE HCwDB entries in the weekly.
Only one of the 'bags has a THREE-word appellation though: Big Ben 'Bag.
Each component of his name has THREE letters too.
Ben is with only two hotts, but 1+2=THREE.
How many pointing fingers are there? THREE.
Why THREE? Is this coincidence? Should I not have eaten a grapefruit earlier? Hmm...
Consulting my dusty scrolls, it seems that the ancient Egyptians used the triangle-shape to denote the number THREE in their alphabet. Artisans, merchants, and smiths wrote in regular triangles, but in correspondence to and from the Pharaoh all triangles had to be filled-in white out of reverence to the great leader on pain of death.
Thus, the genesis of the Holy White Triangle! It is the sign of the Pharaoh and not to be disobeyed.
Big Ben 'Bag FTW!
# posted by : 12:20 PM
: 12:20 PM
Pudwick FTW. And by FTW, I mean dragged kicking and screaming by Shana's hot ass. I can haz ass pear? But that steely glare and the implied you will vote for me, the finger pointing and that fine little black dress is too much for me to ignore.
Big Ben Bag, an excellent effort. Had the other sister decided to show her panties as well, I may have had to give you the vote.
Bagpoleon, you nearly got my vote. Being naked except for your hat, sunglasses and ginormous watch implies a douchebag of exceptional poo-power and I don't give a fuck about what you think vibe. Well played, sir.
For you hotts...well...you're all very hott, and will see feature roles in some very naughty fantasies of mine...
Big Ben Bag, an excellent effort. Had the other sister decided to show her panties as well, I may have had to give you the vote.
Bagpoleon, you nearly got my vote. Being naked except for your hat, sunglasses and ginormous watch implies a douchebag of exceptional poo-power and I don't give a fuck about what you think vibe. Well played, sir.
For you hotts...well...you're all very hott, and will see feature roles in some very naughty fantasies of mine...
The galling image of Pudwick juxtaposed with Shana sends a wave of sickness through me, like the H1N1 virus sweeping through a daycare facility.
Sweet Shana, please darling, forego the truck stops and Honky Tonks. Come to me, my dear. I shall use a plastic spatula to cover you gently, in peanut butter and strawberry jam. After which, I promise to then, remove it all with my tongue, even if it should take all night, for it shall be a labor of love.
Sweet Shana, please darling, forego the truck stops and Honky Tonks. Come to me, my dear. I shall use a plastic spatula to cover you gently, in peanut butter and strawberry jam. After which, I promise to then, remove it all with my tongue, even if it should take all night, for it shall be a labor of love.
Wow, this is an epic weekly. So much Hott, so little masculinity.
I have jerked it to all of these lovely ladies this past week, so its a tough call.
I have to go with Big Ben and Holy White Triangle/Yellow Sunshine Back Arch. This choad has probably cajoled these two lovelies into re-enacting the "Wild Things" three-way in his trailer. And that makes me sad.
Big Ben FTW.
But let's give Josephine's perfect tummy direct access to the HOH.
I have jerked it to all of these lovely ladies this past week, so its a tough call.
I have to go with Big Ben and Holy White Triangle/Yellow Sunshine Back Arch. This choad has probably cajoled these two lovelies into re-enacting the "Wild Things" three-way in his trailer. And that makes me sad.
Big Ben FTW.
But let's give Josephine's perfect tummy direct access to the HOH.
# posted by : 1:12 PM
: 1:12 PM
I gotta give it to Bagpoleon. For some obscure reason, he reminds me of the little yappy chihuahua that used to be in the old Loony Toons Cartoon strips.
And I hated that damn dog.
And I hated that damn dog.
Ahh, what a week. I find myself torn between a trifecta of perfect poop. Nevertheless, Big Ben Bag takes the shit cake by a pube ornamented chin length. Unlike the other two scrotebags, Big Ben Bag (or BBB) has a more complete and perfected bag exterior. We’re talking Sleve tatts, wristdana, oversized watch, ridicoulous handgesture, chinpubes + chinstrap, bling, douchprint v-neck tshirt, ear jewelery and punchworthy wtf expression in his face. Did I mention the chinpubes? And let’s talk about the hotts that perfect and counterbalances him completely. Handplucked from the sandy beaches of Miami we’re speaking quality, not quantity folks. I would endure sand in my asscrack, $15 red bull and vodka in plastic cups and obnoxious 120 db eurodance music, just for the chance of seeing Sandy’s thighs slightly farther apart. Together with Mandy, the two of them invokes nothing but raw primal mating instincts. In the end, my choice was an easy one.
# posted by : 1:23 PM
: 1:23 PM
I feel like it has to go to The Big Ben Bag. He's the classic definition of the scrote that defiles the halls of Hott.
# posted by : 1:24 PM
: 1:24 PM
bagpoleon ftw, just so i know i'll see josephine again.
yes, tonight josephine...
yes, tonight josephine...
# posted by : 1:42 PM
: 1:42 PM
Truckstop Pud FTW! For reasons stated when I had previously commented on his ridiculous DOUCHBAGERY...ALSO, his hott IS THE HOTTEST of the hotts this week...so yeah
BBB FTW! Why? Just as I could get lost in another famous triangle I wish I could lost in this one as well. At least as long as I could bring Miss Yellow Dress with me. Him, it looks like his face vagina hair hasn't fully come in yet. I'm sure when it does he'll be mighty popular in prison someday.
Pudwick FTW. Shana is the hottest hot and the angry finger point puts Peaches to shame.
# posted by : 2:06 PM
: 2:06 PM
Trucker Pud all the way, baby. The only difference between this guy and the Red Man Chaw-chompers at the truck stop along I-47 is what's printed on his clothing. He's got that same inbred caveman face, the same gnarly tractor-hands, he's just picked out more expensive duds. Put "Bass Pro Shop" on the front of that cap and swap out the stencil/tattoo/vomit splatter pattern on his tee and make it a tree camo hunting print and there ya go.
Should I take sympathy on one of my fellow shitkickers trying to make good and get some high-class tail? No. Not if this is the way he's going to go about it. He's a poserdouche, which is even worse than a genetic douche. There's plenty of truck stop Annies to fit the bill for the night, and they don't care that you're in an unwashed flannel with the sleeves cut off and you resemble Uncle Jesse from The Dukes Of Hazzard. Trucker Pud FTW and by tht I mean Flatbed Truck Wash. And a kick in the nads besides.
Should I take sympathy on one of my fellow shitkickers trying to make good and get some high-class tail? No. Not if this is the way he's going to go about it. He's a poserdouche, which is even worse than a genetic douche. There's plenty of truck stop Annies to fit the bill for the night, and they don't care that you're in an unwashed flannel with the sleeves cut off and you resemble Uncle Jesse from The Dukes Of Hazzard. Trucker Pud FTW and by tht I mean Flatbed Truck Wash. And a kick in the nads besides.
Truckstop FTW,
Shana is smoking hot and he looks like a monkey that just saw his reflection in the glass for the first time. Watch out for flying poo!
Shana is smoking hot and he looks like a monkey that just saw his reflection in the glass for the first time. Watch out for flying poo!
# posted by : 2:36 PM
: 2:36 PM
Holy shit, this is a virtual dead heat. What Triple-B lacks in 'bag 'tude (which is very little), he clearly recoups with the extra brunette hott.
Oh yeah, I said "brunette" - no bleach blondes here! Not that there's anything wrong with blonde, per se, but we know the carpet matches the drapes here.....errrrr, well, I'm assuming it does. Am I rambling?
Anyway, Truckstop Pudwanker gives me an "I'm colt Curtis' older brother and I'm filin' a lawsuit" vibe, meaning that shadow on his neck could be a skull tatt. If Colt hadn't made his MySpace page private, maybe I could confirm. Shana's the least hott of the hotts, and her ass rocks my fucking world! But she's between his legs. Ugh.
Back to B-Dumbya-3 and his hotts - at least he's pointing at them and not himself, though he's not trying too hard to be a chump other than through his wardrobe.
By a slim margin, I have to give the Weekly to 'Bagpoleon. Not only is he a dick who'd cause Ted's little brother to ditch him in San Dimas, but he has Preparation H so slathered all over his abs that the sweat beads roll down him like a "wat-air-sliiiiide." So consider yourself lucky, buh-DEE, because Josephine is too much of a historical babe to be with your pint-sized self. That hat doesn't work the way a pair of lifts would, and she's just humoring you while you go broke trying to keep her happy.
"Peh"?!?!?
Oh yeah, I said "brunette" - no bleach blondes here! Not that there's anything wrong with blonde, per se, but we know the carpet matches the drapes here.....errrrr, well, I'm assuming it does. Am I rambling?
Anyway, Truckstop Pudwanker gives me an "I'm colt Curtis' older brother and I'm filin' a lawsuit" vibe, meaning that shadow on his neck could be a skull tatt. If Colt hadn't made his MySpace page private, maybe I could confirm. Shana's the least hott of the hotts, and her ass rocks my fucking world! But she's between his legs. Ugh.
Back to B-Dumbya-3 and his hotts - at least he's pointing at them and not himself, though he's not trying too hard to be a chump other than through his wardrobe.
By a slim margin, I have to give the Weekly to 'Bagpoleon. Not only is he a dick who'd cause Ted's little brother to ditch him in San Dimas, but he has Preparation H so slathered all over his abs that the sweat beads roll down him like a "wat-air-sliiiiide." So consider yourself lucky, buh-DEE, because Josephine is too much of a historical babe to be with your pint-sized self. That hat doesn't work the way a pair of lifts would, and she's just humoring you while you go broke trying to keep her happy.
"Peh"?!?!?
Look, last week we had an ubber-douche and a so-so hott. This week we have an Uber-Hott and a so-so douche. Just for the sake of symmetry, the Casa-La-Douche must vote for The Bagpoleon Complex and Josephine. And a fearfull symmetry it is.
i know i've already mentioned bagpoleon...i'm not trying to fuck with the votes here, this isn't afghanistan...or florida...
i just wanted to mention him again because i couldn't remember who he reminded me of, but it's just clicked...its fucking Drooper from the Banana Splits.
tra-la-la, tra-la-la-la
i just wanted to mention him again because i couldn't remember who he reminded me of, but it's just clicked...its fucking Drooper from the Banana Splits.
tra-la-la, tra-la-la-la
# posted by : 3:21 PM
: 3:21 PM
Truckstop Pud FTW. You have to ask yourself which picture makes you the most angry... and even though the GSR is gay-ish, girls that look like Josephine like that stuff.
What is offensive is the idea that that old, crass leatherbag could hit it with Shana, whose dress is really hot, and she is bona fide sexy, no glasses to cover up her face.
Truckstop's doucheosity with the roadkill splatter tattoo job, the fugly hat, crusty face and uberdouche pointing with the little red cup's cousin in hand...right next to Shana and her fineness... that should enrage you beyond the other two little douches in BBB and Bagpoleon.
Truckstop, hands down.
What is offensive is the idea that that old, crass leatherbag could hit it with Shana, whose dress is really hot, and she is bona fide sexy, no glasses to cover up her face.
Truckstop's doucheosity with the roadkill splatter tattoo job, the fugly hat, crusty face and uberdouche pointing with the little red cup's cousin in hand...right next to Shana and her fineness... that should enrage you beyond the other two little douches in BBB and Bagpoleon.
Truckstop, hands down.
# posted by : 3:40 PM
: 3:40 PM
Bagpolean and Josephine! Take him and his little douche hat, rosary bling, ginormous watch, girl's shades, and exile all five feet two of him to Elba, forthwith!
Bagpolean is out. Yes, he is a hideous, troll-like exemplar of douchedom but Josephine, while cute, just doesn't do it for me.
Pudwick would get my vote if this site was "Hot Chicks with Cro-Magnon Douchebags." Shana tempts me with a "come hither" over the shoulder glance, but I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that she dresses him. Hit the bricks, meathead.
Thus the process of elimination leaves me to cast my vote for Big Ben 'Bag and the glorious white triangle. Bonus points for the vadge probe she appears to be ready to give to Mellow Yellow.
Pudwick would get my vote if this site was "Hot Chicks with Cro-Magnon Douchebags." Shana tempts me with a "come hither" over the shoulder glance, but I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that she dresses him. Hit the bricks, meathead.
Thus the process of elimination leaves me to cast my vote for Big Ben 'Bag and the glorious white triangle. Bonus points for the vadge probe she appears to be ready to give to Mellow Yellow.
Trucker Pud for the win
He looks like an MMA fighter thats had way to many fights and not very good at it either, but still thinks hes 100 ways of badness.
And she looks like she wants me, because I still think I'm 100 ways of irresistible...really
He looks like an MMA fighter thats had way to many fights and not very good at it either, but still thinks hes 100 ways of badness.
And she looks like she wants me, because I still think I'm 100 ways of irresistible...really
# posted by : 4:18 PM
: 4:18 PM
Another stellar array of Hotts this week. My vote is for Big Ben 'Bag. He is douche, perhaps to lesser extent than Bagpoleon or Trucker, but Oh Lord, Holy White Triangle and her gentle tickle of Sunny's thigh puts this HCwDB over the top.
HWT for the HoH, please, so in a year I can just click the link on the main page, and not have to dig through the archive. I will be checking out this pic again. And by checking out, I mean covering Big Ben with my right hand while my left acts as the Stranger.
HWT for the HoH, please, so in a year I can just click the link on the main page, and not have to dig through the archive. I will be checking out this pic again. And by checking out, I mean covering Big Ben with my right hand while my left acts as the Stranger.
Trucker Pud FTW
Ass Pear + Shoulder Suckle + Sultry Brunette + the genetic material smeared across a meth-addicted carnie's futon = Classic Hot Chick with Douchebag
Ass Pear + Shoulder Suckle + Sultry Brunette + the genetic material smeared across a meth-addicted carnie's futon = Classic Hot Chick with Douchebag
Big Ben Bag FTW because 1) he has two Hotts, 2) giant holes in the earlobes are nauseating, and 3) I despise Jethro Dull.
Bagpolean Complex FTW. That groin shave thing is disgusting.
Groin Shave Reveal. Gun Shot Residue. Both have the initials GSR, but only one cures the other.
B-B-B-Bag To The Bone
Groin Shave Reveal. Gun Shot Residue. Both have the initials GSR, but only one cures the other.
B-B-B-Bag To The Bone
# posted by : 6:40 PM
: 6:40 PM
Shorty-Bagpoleon-and -Statuesque-Josephine pose the pose of Uber-Douche and Super-Uber-Hott in a dream-setting of pool, garden, and Moroccan orange decor which he carefully re-iterates with his choice of orange-rimmed sunglasses. It is exceedingly difficult to decide which is the most stunning: her Top-Drawer-Smiling-Perfect-Figure Hotness or his Fedora-Not-Top-Hat-Neck-Blinged-Double-Reveal: Abs AND Groin-Shave.
Let's just say they are a DASHING PAIR and give them the weekly.
Let's just say they are a DASHING PAIR and give them the weekly.
Even though Josephine is all slenderlicious and lithe, Bagpoleon's lumpiness + lurid GSR is just a little too much. Yes, he is representative of a trend, but it is a really revolting trend.
Truckstop Pudwick, while you too are representative, and Shana is all kinds of alluring, you have chosen to point like the legendary Peaches. I've mocked Peaches, I've voted for Peaches, and you sir are no Peaches.
So, we come to Big Ben 'Bag, and by come I mean ignore him as best we can while basking in the glow of the HWT. He is something of a classic and representative of a trend, but not as barfmaking as Bagpoleon nor as derivative as Pudwick. And, the women are hott.
Big Ben Bag and the most wonderful HWT along with the delightful Lemona.
--VS
Truckstop Pudwick, while you too are representative, and Shana is all kinds of alluring, you have chosen to point like the legendary Peaches. I've mocked Peaches, I've voted for Peaches, and you sir are no Peaches.
So, we come to Big Ben 'Bag, and by come I mean ignore him as best we can while basking in the glow of the HWT. He is something of a classic and representative of a trend, but not as barfmaking as Bagpoleon nor as derivative as Pudwick. And, the women are hott.
Big Ben Bag and the most wonderful HWT along with the delightful Lemona.
--VS
# posted by : 8:16 PM
: 8:16 PM
Holly White Triangle and Brunette Jenna Jameson for the Hall. Holly white makes orphan children attempting to flee Darfur giggle with joy at the beauty and promise of the world. She makes illegal fundamentalist jewish settlers and hamas extremists break into leaping high-fives and face to face motorboat mimicking. That is the potency of her transcendental majesty. That and her patooty tastes like organic licorice.
Pudwick FTW, aka getting his toes run over by a riding lawn mower. yowzah! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjroNwjTWDM
Pudwick FTW, aka getting his toes run over by a riding lawn mower. yowzah! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjroNwjTWDM
Truckstop. Because a young douche has the excuse of youth, but Truckstop has none. Because he reminds me of a worn-out catcher's mitt without me needing to make sense of it. Because the HCwDB factor he creates with Shana approaches the blinding effects of an eclipse when not viewed with caution.
Are you fucking kidding me...truck stop is plain ass gross...shit warmed up with a pulse. but josephine...OMG...OMFG, just straight up oh my...that is the perfect female body. But Truck stop is renames feces.
# posted by : 11:38 PM
: 11:38 PM
Bag/Josephine. Hottest hot, and the groin shave thing just, ugh. Not a contender in the monthly, though . . . lack of other douchal attributes will be his downfall. By which I mean he does not evoke the "punch in face" reflex strongly enough to win. I'd like to think that someday the female "kick in groin" reflex will, um, kick in, however.
# posted by : 12:01 AM
: 12:01 AM
i can write you a 20-page dissertation about all the subtleties of the douches and hotts presented in this weekly and how i can't fucking make up my mind. and if i were to write such an essay, i would probably devote half of it to Big Ben 'Bag and the Holy White Triangle. so i guess this means i'm voting for the Big Ben Bag and the Holy White Triangle.
i don't want to discredit the groin shave reveal or the damning camera point, but voting for the Big Ben Bag and Holy White Triangle is like voting for Doug Hoffman. i'm just voting my conscience.
whoa did i get way too political there? Big Ben Bag + Holy White Triangle FTW.
i don't want to discredit the groin shave reveal or the damning camera point, but voting for the Big Ben Bag and Holy White Triangle is like voting for Doug Hoffman. i'm just voting my conscience.
whoa did i get way too political there? Big Ben Bag + Holy White Triangle FTW.
It's a tricky one...Holy White Triangle almost swayed me. But I gotta go Bagpoleon cos I agree 1000% with DB1 that GSR is indubitably the most repulsive & emetic douchemaneouvre to have reared its ugly head (no pun intended) in this truly foul year of Our Lord 2009. And Josephine is scrumptious. DarkSock would pee in her butt. So would I.
i have to vote for big ben bag, not just for the double dose of hot, the ever-so-rare holy white triangle, the jizz catcher chin hair, random tats, or 6 pound watch. No, i have to say it's the gold star necklace Big Ben got for being employee of the month at Carl's Jr.
Oh who am i kidding. HWT and her boobies for the win, Big Ben for the scrote stomp.
Oh who am i kidding. HWT and her boobies for the win, Big Ben for the scrote stomp.
# posted by : 2:16 AM
: 2:16 AM
Truckstop Pudwick and Shana.
She has an ass worth driving the I-80 for all across Illinois and Iowa.
He is typically Puddy-Douche, as he so obviously points out to us.
I'd light a candlewick to celebrate their win.
She has an ass worth driving the I-80 for all across Illinois and Iowa.
He is typically Puddy-Douche, as he so obviously points out to us.
I'd light a candlewick to celebrate their win.
# posted by : 9:58 AM
: 9:58 AM
Truckstop Pudwick. The other two are generic 3rd-generation douche. Only truckstop has the freshness and originality to keep douche on the up-an-up, with the latest of poser fashionwear. He's probably got everyone in accounting thinking he actually drives a rig in his spare time.
And Shana... oh Shana ... let's meet at a rest stop somewhere on the way to Medford and watch the sunrise while I inflate your tires and change your oil.
Did I mention that Shana reminds me of the bartender chick from Bad Santa?
(Fuck me Santa, Fuck me Santa...)
Great fucking scene.
So to speak.
(Fuck me Santa, Fuck me Santa...)
Great fucking scene.
So to speak.
I'd love to go [my Name/URL] into Josephine, so I have to vote Bagpolean.
Then I'd love to watch Medusa do the same to her.
Then I'd love to watch Medusa do the same to her.
# posted by : 12:31 PM
: 12:31 PM
I thank Bagpoleon for featuring two of 2009's douchcessories the Groin Shave Reveal and the trilby hat. WTF wrong with these urrr people! BTW Bagpoleon&Josephine FTW!
Truckstop Pudwick. He's. Pointing. At. The. Camera.
And what kind of cup is that? I'm pretty sure it says "Texan" on the bottom of it.
And Shana. Shana perfectly compliments the douche. Black hair, black dress, with the over the shoulder "I am either rubbing this dude's crotch or I might come over there and rub yours if you buy me a drink" look. Pudwick's hand on her back makes you know that it isn't going to happen, but her eyes say that it just might.
Good to be back voting again.
And what kind of cup is that? I'm pretty sure it says "Texan" on the bottom of it.
And Shana. Shana perfectly compliments the douche. Black hair, black dress, with the over the shoulder "I am either rubbing this dude's crotch or I might come over there and rub yours if you buy me a drink" look. Pudwick's hand on her back makes you know that it isn't going to happen, but her eyes say that it just might.
Good to be back voting again.
Bagpoleon...
For every boy who got put in the front row for class pictures.
For every guy who had to stand on his tiptoes to kiss his date.
For every dude who got picked last at basketball.
Bagpoleon.
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For every boy who got put in the front row for class pictures.
For every guy who had to stand on his tiptoes to kiss his date.
For every dude who got picked last at basketball.
Bagpoleon.
# posted by : 11:06 PM
: 11:06 PM << Home
