Monday, November 09, 2009
The Trollbag
One of the hardest douche categories to tag in the wild is the Trollbag. They're wily creatures. Hard to spot.
Trollbags are known for demanding a fort-pence to let you pass, gnawing on the bones of Englishmen, and rubbing up on Suburban State Hotties from Iowa at the summer carnival.
The Trollbag featured here is known as Red Rum, the 70s Love Troll.
Poor Kimmy Sisters. They just wanted some cotton candy and to go on the tilt-o-whirl.
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To me, he looks like the heat-miser from those holiday stop motion shows.
He's Mr. Heat Miser..
He's Mr. Heat Miser..
# posted by 
: 2:22 PM
: 2:22 PM 
Is he dropping the shocker over kimmy's neck, or did he lose that digit in the same exploding Tibetan monk accident that disfigured his facial area/region?
Blue-shirt in background is giving the international recognized "Dude, seriously, WTF?" facial sign.
Still not over Farrah's death, Ryan seeks comfort in the vaginas of his nieces at the annual O'Neil family reunion.
I can't decide if this doofus is Willie Whistle the clown from the TV of my youth or if one of Wile E. Coyote's "Acme" bombs just exploded in his face giving him the "blowback" hair style.
Either way he looks like a fuckhead.
Either way he looks like a fuckhead.
How can HCWD's web team expect me to invest any more of my precious quality time here at work tearing down the minions of doucheness when Poopaloompa only got 2nd place for Douche of the Week?
Sometimes the world is not fair. Nor is it always right.
Sometimes the world is not fair. Nor is it always right.
# posted by : 2:56 PM
: 2:56 PM
That is truly frightening. The look on his face seems to indicate that he might actually be looking at his own reflection behind the photographer.
And two of the three Kimmies are very tasty.
But if they are unfortunate enough to ever get a copy of this picture, they might need years of psychotherapy to overcome the feelings of shame and humiliation at having allowed it to be taken.
And two of the three Kimmies are very tasty.
But if they are unfortunate enough to ever get a copy of this picture, they might need years of psychotherapy to overcome the feelings of shame and humiliation at having allowed it to be taken.
When did Scotsmen start plowing hedgehogs? "Ack, looks like I found a wee lass". 19 years later we get subjected to this. Thanks Scotland.
The two dudes in the back know whats up. They are ready to de-pants this Gomer.
# posted by : 3:21 PM
: 3:21 PM
WAAAAAAAAH!!!!
Sorry, that picture just scared the schnykies outta me.
I don't know, man... this whole deal has a remarkable "Iceland-Norway-possibly-Sweden" vibe to it.
Sorry, that picture just scared the schnykies outta me.
I don't know, man... this whole deal has a remarkable "Iceland-Norway-possibly-Sweden" vibe to it.
The one guy in the back is mocking the douche by making a doucheface.
The one guy in the front is mocking humanity with his face.
That girl on the right is just the right amount of cute.
The one guy in the front is mocking humanity with his face.
That girl on the right is just the right amount of cute.
# posted by : 3:41 PM
: 3:41 PM
Holy crap. It looks like he did his hair on the runway at Newark International Airport, standing behind a Irish Airlines 747 jet engine.
My God this douche is frightening. The only logical explanation for looking like this if you are in the process of being electrocuted.
All 3 "hotts" are pushing maximum density already - hate to see them in 5 to 10 years.
I have never laughed so hard at a comment then Mr. Scrotato Head @ 2:34. Thanks - I had to clean Diet Coke off my keyboard before typing this.
All 3 "hotts" are pushing maximum density already - hate to see them in 5 to 10 years.
I have never laughed so hard at a comment then Mr. Scrotato Head @ 2:34. Thanks - I had to clean Diet Coke off my keyboard before typing this.
# posted by : 3:51 PM
: 3:51 PM
Anon ^2:56
Take heart, voting doesn't end until tomorrow. Your beloved Poopaloompa still has a shot at the Monthly.
And as far as fairness goes, to quote the Poop from his award winning role in "The Lion King",
Life's not fair is it? You see, I shall never be king, and you shall never see the light of another day.
Take heart, voting doesn't end until tomorrow. Your beloved Poopaloompa still has a shot at the Monthly.
And as far as fairness goes, to quote the Poop from his award winning role in "The Lion King",
Life's not fair is it? You see, I shall never be king, and you shall never see the light of another day.
Hott on the right has what I will call bounce. She can have an all access pass to ride my tilt-a-whirl.
You are the king Scrotato Head. Master of all you survey. That was awesome.
With respect to this guy, I got nothing. A total fucktard.
With respect to this guy, I got nothing. A total fucktard.
# posted by : 4:16 PM
: 4:16 PM
Jimmy Osmond never lived up to brother Donny's potential and years of jaw clenching cocaine abuse forced his pained expression to freeze in place
If only this photo of Trollbag was taken by a fellow skydiver and this is the last look he gave before blasting into the earth at 32ft/sec squared when his 'chute failed to open.
His hair style comes courtesy of the time he lit a match to find the missing gerbil lodged in Richard Geres ass.
This photo was snapped mere seconds after a random stranger walked by and shoved a jelly dong up Larry's mudhorn.
I just had to look one more time. It didn't help my digestion any.
Dude is facially challenged. Middle cutie may be pushing maximum density, but I'd still hit it.
Pudgy loving asshole that I am.
Dude is facially challenged. Middle cutie may be pushing maximum density, but I'd still hit it.
Pudgy loving asshole that I am.
Is he wearing a PEARL necklace!? A dude in a pearl necklace? Isn't that sending mixed signals? Homeboy is hurtin'
# posted by : 6:59 PM
: 6:59 PM
@Troy 5:39
I hope the rest of that sentence isn't....."pulls that trigger, the marionette is fucked."
I hope the rest of that sentence isn't....."pulls that trigger, the marionette is fucked."
WTF!!!!!, This i can't handle..I'm outa here, too late.. Me Eyes, Me Freekin Eyes
# posted by : 7:18 PM
: 7:18 PM
Now I remember, I seen this specimen on national geographic.
its worth the copy and paste to see him in his original environment.
http://media.photobucket.com/image/baboons%20ass/darenrpark/baboon.jpg
its worth the copy and paste to see him in his original environment.
http://media.photobucket.com/image/baboons%20ass/darenrpark/baboon.jpg
# posted by : 7:25 PM
: 7:25 PM
This is why you should always seek a shower and counseling after gang-rape by fellow male inmates in the DUI tank versus going straight back to the club for Round Two.
He looks like Carrot Top 2 seconds after realizing that the mountain bike's seat wasn't on the mounting post
I just looked at his face and thought "Carol Channing" and thought I had some witty repartee to share when I realised just making the Carol Channing connection was making me laugh hard enough to break a rib.
Seriously. Just look at him and think "Carol Channing"...
BWAHAHAAAAAA...
Seriously. Just look at him and think "Carol Channing"...
BWAHAHAAAAAA...
Here is Channing in my Modality grinning like Trollbag.
This will give you nightmares. Now you know what I have to contend with EVERY FUCKING DAY.
http://tinyurl.com/ykxyvo7
This will give you nightmares. Now you know what I have to contend with EVERY FUCKING DAY.
http://tinyurl.com/ykxyvo7
Either Medusa sent him an electric wig...
... or he's been harvested from an oyster bed near a coral reef and sent to clown school, where someone horizontally stuffed a small dogbone into his open mouth after extracting his pearly whites, made them into a necklace, and razzberried his schnozz.
... or he's been harvested from an oyster bed near a coral reef and sent to clown school, where someone horizontally stuffed a small dogbone into his open mouth after extracting his pearly whites, made them into a necklace, and razzberried his schnozz.
orange bleeth is a nice touch. really sets off the red of his nose...
brunette seems to be out past curfew.
brunette seems to be out past curfew.
Frontman from Megadeath has fallen on hard times after opening for Leo Sayers at the
Osh-Kosh Fall Festival.
Osh-Kosh Fall Festival.
# posted by : 4:12 AM
: 4:12 AM
He's either a HUGE Jerry Garcia fan, or the founding member of the Frodo of the Nine Association.
Mediocre hotts.
Mediocre hotts.
now i know where kabuki masks came from!
... crap, now i feel like i've gravely insulted the entire nation of Japan.
... crap, now i feel like i've gravely insulted the entire nation of Japan.
He's like a "Combo-douche"...got a little of White Choc's grill going (without the bling), etc.
Is the right side Kimmy a bit orange?
Middle Kimmy makes me happy.
And by happy, I mean change of drawers.
Is the right side Kimmy a bit orange?
Middle Kimmy makes me happy.
And by happy, I mean change of drawers.
# posted by : 10:32 AM
: 10:32 AM
"... did he lose that digit in the same exploding Tibetan monk accident that disfigured his facial area/region?"
I first read that as face/anal region. Oddly enough that seemed to be more fitting. As a foetus I think he tried to bust a double shocker before he had real arms and turned his blastocytic self inside out. The result is this. His arms and legs got swapped and his face/arse got kind of added together to make this abomination. If you look carefully you can see how his nose was once a dick (the rest of his reproductive organs take up the space where you or I would house the bit of the brain that says "blowouts are bad"), his cheeks and chin are actually butt cheeks. Those are not normal teeth, they are sphincter teeth. And he is passing wind - hence the fixed grin and odd expression.
I first read that as face/anal region. Oddly enough that seemed to be more fitting. As a foetus I think he tried to bust a double shocker before he had real arms and turned his blastocytic self inside out. The result is this. His arms and legs got swapped and his face/arse got kind of added together to make this abomination. If you look carefully you can see how his nose was once a dick (the rest of his reproductive organs take up the space where you or I would house the bit of the brain that says "blowouts are bad"), his cheeks and chin are actually butt cheeks. Those are not normal teeth, they are sphincter teeth. And he is passing wind - hence the fixed grin and odd expression.
# posted by : 11:52 AM
: 11:52 AM
This dude actually pisses me off. He has the most ridiculous smile I've ever seen.
I'd like to bust his teeth out. Really, I want to smash his face.
I'd like to bust his teeth out. Really, I want to smash his face.
# posted by : 8:49 PM
: 8:49 PM
All four of these people have very nice teeth. So obviously not British.
I like the Hotts and would happily consloe them after they see this picture and by console I mean treat them to a top shelf wank job.
French for shower.
I like the Hotts and would happily consloe them after they see this picture and by console I mean treat them to a top shelf wank job.
French for shower.
# posted by : 10:03 PM
: 10:03 PM
That nose looks like a giant boil ready to burst if he tries any harder at pinching that loaf off in his pants.
# posted by : 11:16 AM
: 11:16 AM
Those two guys in the background need to grab Trollbag by his feet and use his head to scrub out the urinal at whatever skank bar that photo was taken in.
# posted by : 11:19 AM
: 11:19 AM
I just remembered something. You know those token-fed arcade-like machine games where you launch projectiles from an air cannon to break the clown's teeth?
Well, they're back with a vengeance/
Well, they're back with a vengeance/
# posted by : 3:31 PM
: 3:31 PM
Definitely the "Heat Miser" from "The Year without a Santa Clause". Check it out....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Heat_Miser.jpg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Heat_Miser.jpg
# posted by : 10:32 PM
: 10:32 PM
Holy shit!...thanks everyone for making me laugh my ass off. Those comments are priceless!
# posted by : 2:12 AM
: 2:12 AM
This gentleman had a face transplant and his teeth are rejecting it , unfortunately.
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# posted by : 5:46 PM
: 5:46 PM << Home
