Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Jake Whatupguy says, "What up, Guy?"
Jake Whatupguy gets asked about his strange last name all the time.
Turns out it's Scotch-Romanian.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 1:45 PM 
Comments:
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Allow me to add this very articulate and thought-provoking comment on this picture:
AAUUGUGHHHHH SHE'S PRETTY YUMMY YUMMY SMILE PRETTY BOOBS AAUGHHDSHGHHH!
AAUUGUGHHHHH SHE'S PRETTY YUMMY YUMMY SMILE PRETTY BOOBS AAUGHHDSHGHHH!
looks like an 80s party to me with the attire she is wearing, however, her smile would melt my face like a death shredding solo from Dave Murray
# posted by 
: 1:49 PM
: 1:49 PM
And since brought it up with his T-shirt, I would let Eddie savagely violate me with the end of his guitar while whispering drooling, stench-ridden sweet nothings in my ear just for a chance to lick the Chinese sweatshop worker who sewed her off the shoulder top.
She is delightful.
I would take over Tim's job pleasuring animals in the petting zoo for a week if it meant that I could spend just one night outside her window making white noise so she could sleep soundly through the night.
Sweet dreams my dear. Now here is my impression of songs of the humpback whale...
I would take over Tim's job pleasuring animals in the petting zoo for a week if it meant that I could spend just one night outside her window making white noise so she could sleep soundly through the night.
Sweet dreams my dear. Now here is my impression of songs of the humpback whale...
# posted by : 1:59 PM
: 1:59 PM
As per the edict that was hewn into tablets of the HCwDB bi-laws, Section 508.3.2.1b, regarding the posting of hotts such as this specimen of perfection, I hereby compose the following poem:
Rose are Red
Violets are Blue
She’s so gawdamn hott my pants are suddenly filled with my Elmer’s glue.
Rose are Red
Violets are Blue
She’s so gawdamn hott my pants are suddenly filled with my Elmer’s glue.
Let him of hath understanding reckon the Number of the Bag for it is a douchebag number....it's number is 2.
# posted by : 2:03 PM
: 2:03 PM
sweet suckling thigh magnificence from heaven, cleavage divine . . . an ode . . .
oh porcelain skinned brunette from above
allow me to show you the meaning of love
and while we discover the magic of . . . no wait, I can't concentrate with guyliner fuckwad counting out his IQ for me using the only fingers that don't smell like his grandmother's cackhole.
oh porcelain skinned brunette from above
allow me to show you the meaning of love
and while we discover the magic of . . . no wait, I can't concentrate with guyliner fuckwad counting out his IQ for me using the only fingers that don't smell like his grandmother's cackhole.
# posted by : 2:07 PM
: 2:07 PM
Hot damn! She naminipulates my mind!!
What fuccen douche? I see no fuccen douche.
What fuccen douche? I see no fuccen douche.
# posted by : 2:08 PM
: 2:08 PM
@ Mr. White,
Well played. Circle gets the square and the win.
...and by win, I mean this hott is all that.
Well played. Circle gets the square and the win.
...and by win, I mean this hott is all that.
His brother, Damn Whatupguy asked "Damn, what up , Guy? How in fuckballz did you get Cindy from H.R. to pose with you?"
Such celestial beauty I’ve seen not before
For her, my boner’s become a FUCCEN SLAPWHOAR
If I saw her naked
I’d likely fall down dead
From beating my meat into a bloody old sore.
For her, my boner’s become a FUCCEN SLAPWHOAR
If I saw her naked
I’d likely fall down dead
From beating my meat into a bloody old sore.
As douchey as this guys appears to be he is, unfotunately, wearing an Iron Maiden shirt and so for this pic I have to give the nottadouche pass. I had to think long and hard about this one because the shirt is clearly a recent fabrication and not an original. Granted he should be wearing a Poison shirt though.
# posted by : 2:19 PM
: 2:19 PM
Good gravy she's super fucking hot. Bless you and your perfectly formed breasts young lady.
# posted by : 2:21 PM
: 2:21 PM
She is incredible. Dude looks like a douched up version of my old roommate, but I know it's not him cuz he never pulled ass like that.
This chick is almost perfect, the only thing she is missing is a 10 inch penis.
# posted by : 2:31 PM
: 2:31 PM
I would Run To Her Hills and stick my Trooper Where Eagles Dare, before plundering her Aces High at 2 Minutes To Midnight… and I would happily Die With my Boots On.
I hope her Steve isn’t Harris, because I want to put my Bruce Dickinson in her Janick Gerrs.
Okay, that was just retarded.
Okay, that was just retarded.
# posted by : 2:36 PM
: 2:36 PM
looks like even a dried up corpse like Eddie wants to snack on those luscious bewbs..
I cant blame him.
I cant blame him.
# posted by : 2:39 PM
: 2:39 PM
looks like even a dried up corpse like Eddie wants to snack on those luscious bewbs..
I cant blame him.
I cant blame him.
# posted by : 2:39 PM
: 2:39 PM
Holy hell! God DAMMIT is she gorgeous! DB1, oh great one, you're clearly messing with our collective fucin minds today, running two of the most beautiful non-bleeth Hotts in a row.
All I ask is that you run them head-to-head (nee, cleavite-to-cleavite?) in the Hottest Hott smackdown.
All I ask is that you run them head-to-head (nee, cleavite-to-cleavite?) in the Hottest Hott smackdown.
# posted by : 2:39 PM
: 2:39 PM
...Interestingly enough, if you were to Photoshop Aqua Teen Boobie Force in the place of Whatupguy, the girls would be mashing their yummy chesticles together in a smily, happy, passionate embrace.
Oh jeez.. OH..! I think I just soiled myself.
Yes. Yes, I did.
But it was worth it.
Oh jeez.. OH..! I think I just soiled myself.
Yes. Yes, I did.
But it was worth it.
# posted by : 2:46 PM
: 2:46 PM
Ted really let himself go or is that Bill? Rufus should have never let them out of that damn wormhole. At least one of them managed to keep one of the fair maidens. Next up, Wyld Stallions!
The glow from her perfect skin and winning smile has blinded my retinas.
HOH please boss!
HOH please boss!
# posted by : 2:48 PM
: 2:48 PM
For Guyliner Greg here, "UP THE IRONS" is more than just a shout out to Iron Maiden.
Charlotte wonders what keeps happening to her UltraVibe pleasure toys.....
Charlotte wonders what keeps happening to her UltraVibe pleasure toys.....
Okay guys. Settle the fucc down gawdammit!!
Get ahold of yourselves for Lämp's sake. You sound like a bunch of horny little teenage boys that just saw your first tittie…
HOLYFUCCENMUTHURMARYJEEBUSLUCIFUR!!!!
LOOK AT THAT HOTT!!!!!
Get ahold of yourselves for Lämp's sake. You sound like a bunch of horny little teenage boys that just saw your first tittie…
HOLYFUCCENMUTHURMARYJEEBUSLUCIFUR!!!!
LOOK AT THAT HOTT!!!!!
# posted by : 3:11 PM
: 3:11 PM
I bet she has all kinds of thigh suckle goodness. Look at that nicely groomed hair and gorgeous face. She's at the wrong party.
# posted by : 3:18 PM
: 3:18 PM
Yeegh. Okay dude, put down the hand gesture and slowly step away from the hott. It's not worth wasting your life over a mandana. Wash yer goddamn hair and get a respectable job, driving a forklift or something.
Don't do it man, don't do it! Put the guyliner down! I don't want to have to shoot you, but I will if you force me to. Keep your hands where I can see them!
No, no, no! Don't even try to pump your fist! I SAID PUT THAT MOTHERFUCKING GUYLINER DOWN, NOW!!!!
BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!
Shit. It was either him, or me.
No, no, no! Don't even try to pump your fist! I SAID PUT THAT MOTHERFUCKING GUYLINER DOWN, NOW!!!!
BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!
Shit. It was either him, or me.
More of Lauren Harris:
Her MySpace band page
Oh my.....
I think I'm going to be busy figuring out how To Tame A Hand.
Her MySpace band page
Oh my.....
I think I'm going to be busy figuring out how To Tame A Hand.
@Portlandouche,
Thank you, good sir.
You win a coupon for a free cockk sucking from Wheezer and Darksock the next time they are in your neighborhood.
It's worth it, believe me.
Thank you, good sir.
You win a coupon for a free cockk sucking from Wheezer and Darksock the next time they are in your neighborhood.
It's worth it, believe me.
More Lauren Harris - here she is after stooping to pick up something she dropped.....or maybe it's my chin that fell to the floor.
After combing through all the evidence with our litigating tubesocks, we have determined that this hott is, indeed, hott.
She's even hotter than Boatbutter.
She's even hotter than Boatbutter.
# posted by : 3:42 PM
: 3:42 PM
Let's not forget Rod Stewart's grind-worthy daughters Kimberly and Ruby Stewart. Humana-humana! I'd gladly baby their Janes all day and night.
Yes, I want your body. Yes I think your sexy. And baby, I'm going to let you know.
And by "know", I mean "give me a peanut oil and coconut milk full body muff massage." Now that's a panang curry that satisfies.
Yes, I want your body. Yes I think your sexy. And baby, I'm going to let you know.
And by "know", I mean "give me a peanut oil and coconut milk full body muff massage." Now that's a panang curry that satisfies.
This looks Shopped. I can tell from some of the Pixels and from seeing Quite a Few shops in my time.
--VS
--VS
# posted by : 3:55 PM
: 3:55 PM
This looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.
--VS
--VS
# posted by : 3:56 PM
: 3:56 PM
Wow. You don't see too many beautiful women on this site. Chicks that I'd fold up like an accordion, yeah, there's plenty of those. But she's beautiful. Just flat out beautiful.
Shit. I think I'm going to go cry now.
Shit. I think I'm going to go cry now.
I'm with Vinny Scumbaglia on this one. I call photoshop, BUT, if I was gonna pick a random hott to slap into my picture, she'd be right there at the top, with her hand photoshopped around my penis.
She is delicious, all Valerie Bertinelli circa 1980 with a little Jan Smithers thrown in for good measure.
'Cuz Loni Anderson couldn't hold a candle to her no matter how big her tits or hair got.
She is delicious, all Valerie Bertinelli circa 1980 with a little Jan Smithers thrown in for good measure.
'Cuz Loni Anderson couldn't hold a candle to her no matter how big her tits or hair got.
SHE IS FUCEN TARMAL IN HUMANN FORM! IM BEWATING MY MEAT TO HER PICTURE ND CRYING SALTY FUCEN TAERS OF JOYY!
Let me briefly interrupt this anonymous girl-on-girl fight to say this:
to portlandouche @ 3:28: Thank you kindly for your service. You have just unleashed the monster--and by monster, I mean the purple-headed one that will forever be beaten senselessly by my right hand.
Now, please, if you will... back to the girlfight!
to portlandouche @ 3:28: Thank you kindly for your service. You have just unleashed the monster--and by monster, I mean the purple-headed one that will forever be beaten senselessly by my right hand.
Now, please, if you will... back to the girlfight!
# posted by : 5:09 PM
: 5:09 PM
I dunno- if it weren't for the mandana, and what may be guyliner, but may just be really bushy eyelashes, this _could_ be a nottadouche. After all, that's the metal horns he's throwing, not one of the typical D-bag signs. And that is a Maiden shirt, which both deserves some props, and isn't the kind of thing that would attract club chicks. And it's not classic choadtastic kissy-face; he just looks kind of confused and sleepy.
But, shit, that is some fine hott.
But, shit, that is some fine hott.
# posted by : 5:13 PM
: 5:13 PM
Oh, Jiminy Christmas, I can't believe none of you added this one:
"Run To The Hills"
I revoke both your Metal cards and your Boobie Lover cards.
"Run To The Hills"
I revoke both your Metal cards and your Boobie Lover cards.
^ Awwwwww wtf ur xpectin me 2 read n sh*t its not school so rly ppl wtf do i need 2 read n sh*t
Yeah, well you may have said it first but I get mad pussy, hatter!!!! XD
Yeah, well you may have said it first but I get mad pussy, hatter!!!! XD
Jake is signaling the discrepancy between the Blogger software's comment counts on the main page vs. the actual comment threads.
Well, he tried.
Well, he tried.
As an Iron Maiden fan I can tell you this guy is not a douche at all. Any Iron Maiden fans who can score a girl like that is cool. Every been to a Maiden concert? It's a sausage fest.
# posted by : 6:59 PM
: 6:59 PM
oh, he's an Iron Maiden fan well enough. So much so, that he couldn't bring himself to obscure Eddie with her breastesses when he insinuated her into the photo.
--VS
--VS
# posted by : 7:14 PM
: 7:14 PM
*Throws flag*
Personal Foul. Unnecessary use of make-up by the hott. 15-yard penalty; repeat the down.
Personal Foul. Unnecessary use of make-up by the hott. 15-yard penalty; repeat the down.
I think we're all in agreement that girl-next-door hotts with cleavage give us raging animal boners.
Two in a row db1.
Two in a row db1.
# posted by : 7:49 PM
: 7:49 PM
this hott kinda looks like a waitress at a certain restaurant a few blocks away from my house. waitress chick is slightly hotter though. which means that she probably hooks up with even bigger douches.
okay that's it...
okay that's it...
To get FLYTEETH out of his/her hidey-hole to make a comment these days is like plucking hen's teeth. Only the power of a Hott like Lauren here has such TARMAL, and only a rascal in a fifth grade classroom pulling wings off green-bottle flies could equal it.
Clutching his rum and coke, wearing his can't lose Iron Maiden t-shirt, sporting guy-liner and lipstick, this mandanna wearing pudding showed with pride how big his favourite member was.
Rebecca could not contain herself and giggled, knowing full well that Jake was hung like a dachshund.
Regards,
Douche Pitt
Rebecca could not contain herself and giggled, knowing full well that Jake was hung like a dachshund.
Regards,
Douche Pitt
# posted by : 11:14 PM
: 11:14 PM
Yea. So those talking about this being a 'shopped photo are just slightly delusional. Or, just a bit homosexual... not that I judge.
Those of us who actually work with photoshop each and every day can attest to the fact that this is genuine.
How do I know?
I am currently out of tube socks.
God bless Wal-Mart.
Those of us who actually work with photoshop each and every day can attest to the fact that this is genuine.
How do I know?
I am currently out of tube socks.
God bless Wal-Mart.
# posted by : 1:08 AM
: 1:08 AM
For the love of all things precious and holy, I would body slide down a quarter-mile of glass shards at a 45 degree angle to the plane just for the chance to let her kick me in the nards.
I find her quite pleasant to look at.
And by "pleasant to look at" I mean masturbate furiously.
And by "pleasant to look at" I mean masturbate furiously.
# posted by : 12:25 PM
: 12:25 PM
He'll be here soon.
Here's a little something to make the beatdown a little more humane:
TARMAL!
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Here's a little something to make the beatdown a little more humane:
TARMAL!
# posted by : 3:02 PM
: 3:02 PM << Home
