Monday, December 14, 2009
Most Annoying 'Bagling: Suburban Pimp
In a voting error, the judges have disqualified The Douche Cacti for ineligibility for the 2009 Douchie Awards. Their pic is actually from 2008.
Therefore, the award now goes to the runner-up in the category, June's Suburban Pimp.
Thanks to Wheezer for the catch.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 12:28 PM 
Comments:
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The mirthful mood at the Lesbian Empowerment Meeting was momentarily soured when Meredith’s blouse fell open and revealed her recent mastectomy scars.
I remember my first beer.
I remember my Lesbian, stripper Aunt Judy taking me to work with her when I was in 7th grade.
Childhood memories.
I remember my Lesbian, stripper Aunt Judy taking me to work with her when I was in 7th grade.
Childhood memories.
# posted by 
: 1:02 PM
: 1:02 PM
I love this guy. I mean, fuccen love him. He looks like he's about 12 years old, but manages to get in a pic with 5 hotties, four of whom are making out with each other. I mean, how can you hatt on this guy?
Take that, Crimson Ted. A smile nets you way more action. And 'Lil Pimpie knows what color looks good on him, too.
Take that, Crimson Ted. A smile nets you way more action. And 'Lil Pimpie knows what color looks good on him, too.
I remember the first time DB1 caught me stalking him through the aisles at a Ralph's Grocery store.
He smacked me upside the head, gave me an atomic wedgie, and booted me out the door while yelling, "stay away you freak!! And no, those weren't Elizabeth Banks' panties you found in my trashcan last week."
Childhood memories.
He smacked me upside the head, gave me an atomic wedgie, and booted me out the door while yelling, "stay away you freak!! And no, those weren't Elizabeth Banks' panties you found in my trashcan last week."
Childhood memories.
And to think, all the little tyke asked was, "Have you seen my mommy?" Knowing nothing, the rest of the strippers felt sorry for him, handed him a pitcher, and offered a free show to pass the time. Such a love of children, these skanks have.
# posted by : 1:10 PM
: 1:10 PM
The skanks herein seem to go from older to younger, left to right. The one on the far left old enough to be his mom, the one on the right old enough to turn him down because he's a few years younger than her and besides, now she's into "older guys" (read: guys who can actually buy her drinks in the clubs).
Lil' Pimpy still needs a slap, though.
Lil' Pimpy still needs a slap, though.
You're assuming leftskank is not his mom...and that rightskank is not his older sis.
Well, that certainly let the air out of the old bone, didn't it?
Well, that certainly let the air out of the old bone, didn't it?
# posted by : 1:41 PM
: 1:41 PM
2035, when long forecast demographic shifts turn the world upside down and white, suburban sister wives in Salt Lake City, under the protection of now majority status Amerasians, must prostitute themselves out three dollars worth of green Jello, two loaves of stale sacrament bread, and weak red punch.
Would you like for us to do lesbian things with each other? That will be two dollars more, or a box of tampons if you have any on you. My sister wife, she will like you a very, very long time.
Would you like for us to do lesbian things with each other? That will be two dollars more, or a box of tampons if you have any on you. My sister wife, she will like you a very, very long time.
Au Contraire, @Fatness.
I think this is actually Crimson ted 20 years ago. It would certainly explain his Oedipal attachment to skanks and why his club attire resembles his 8th grade class pictures.
I think this is actually Crimson ted 20 years ago. It would certainly explain his Oedipal attachment to skanks and why his club attire resembles his 8th grade class pictures.
@Justin,
If I'd known when I was twelve that the Make a Wish Foundation could arrange this kind of fantasy I'd have been at the cancer hospice licking bald heads hoping to catch something.
If I'd known when I was twelve that the Make a Wish Foundation could arrange this kind of fantasy I'd have been at the cancer hospice licking bald heads hoping to catch something.
Wheezer actually gets the award for discovering your error.
Please, someone photoshop a Santy Claus hat on Suburban Pimp so we can enjoy him in the Holiday Spirit, too.
And somebody leash those reindeer behind him.
Please, someone photoshop a Santy Claus hat on Suburban Pimp so we can enjoy him in the Holiday Spirit, too.
And somebody leash those reindeer behind him.
Not a bad way to spend your formative years in foster care--time of life, right kid?
# posted by : 2:11 PM
: 2:11 PM
Yo! Pimp! Bro! I don't think you're gonna get any. The girls, to their credit, seem to be much more into each other than you.
This kid has chicks making out all around him and she's cheesing it up for the cameras? That's some A+ douching right there.
# posted by : 2:16 PM
: 2:16 PM
Well, it is the shopping season, so why NOT photoshop?
Let's add some little reindoor antlers on the girls and also include Santa's bag...a douchebag.
LOL
Let's add some little reindoor antlers on the girls and also include Santa's bag...a douchebag.
LOL
In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.
What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get outta his way!
All this time, I've been trying so hard to up my douche-factor, embarrassing myself in public repeatedly, when all I actually had to do was PHOTOSHOP MYSELF INTO A LESBO PIC to make it onto the site. I'm surprised to see this pic not only stay up, but now to win a coveted Douchie? This is a painfully obvious DBwPS job.
Yeah, that's a pretty egregious photoshop right there. Trying to figure out how that black purse fits in there is giving me a headache.
# posted by : 12:30 PM
: 12:30 PM
If you look below the black purse, s a w, you can see black dress brunettes hand on smoochie girl's thigh. That alone is enough to put me into the "doesn't care if it is photoshop" category. She has her hand through the strap on her little friend's purse, to make groping easier, and that right there gives me the serious boner.
# posted by : 9:05 AM
: 9:05 AM
Little Suburban Pimp, age 12, has already made a lifestyle choice and it isn't heterosexuality. I mean, he's surrounded by a bevy of faux sapphic wonderment and he's douching it up for the camera?
My Dad used to have a word for this kind of guy: "Pansy!" (I'll have to ask him if he still uses that when I fly up there this Christmas.)
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My Dad used to have a word for this kind of guy: "Pansy!" (I'll have to ask him if he still uses that when I fly up there this Christmas.)
# posted by : 11:18 AM
: 11:18 AM << Home
