Thursday, December 24, 2009
The Twelve Days of Douchemas
Comments:
<< Home
Citizen Kane, take a hike, there is a new standard for cinematic excellence. Rosebud has officially been replaced by "AAAAAAAaaassspear".
# posted by 
: 7:37 AM
: 7:37 AM
To all my fellow baghunters and you hottie hott hott huntresses, I extend warm wishes for a terrific holiday season.
I am going to attempt what could be a foolhardy drive into the teeth of the Midwest's winter storm this afternoon, hoping just to make it to the p's house in good shape. I have to meet for the first time my 2-month-old 'baghunter in training, young Ethan.
Be warm, be safe, drain some alcohol, and motorboat some boobies.....or offer your boobies to be motorboated to me. Six of one.....
I am going to attempt what could be a foolhardy drive into the teeth of the Midwest's winter storm this afternoon, hoping just to make it to the p's house in good shape. I have to meet for the first time my 2-month-old 'baghunter in training, young Ethan.
Be warm, be safe, drain some alcohol, and motorboat some boobies.....or offer your boobies to be motorboated to me. Six of one.....
Well done Scrotato.
That's what the Hollidays are all about;
Peace on earth, good will towards man and projectile vomiting.
That's what the Hollidays are all about;
Peace on earth, good will towards man and projectile vomiting.
Thanks Mr. Scrotato Head. Superior effort. If I may quote the great Judge Elihu Smails:
"Top notch, top notch!!"
"Top notch, top notch!!"
Fantastic work, Mr. Scrote! I'm impressed. And by "impressed," I mean "scraping out my eye sockets with a grapefruit spoon."
Well bitches and bitchettes, I'm Audi 5000 soon--off to the land of in-lawville, where there's nary an internet connection and computers are just a passing fad.
May all your Christmases be orange...
Well bitches and bitchettes, I'm Audi 5000 soon--off to the land of in-lawville, where there's nary an internet connection and computers are just a passing fad.
May all your Christmases be orange...
PS. Scrotato Head: Put some lotion on that cockk of yours and drink lots of fluids, 'cause methinks 2010 will be particularly chafing.
Oh, and brunette cutie @ 5:22 mins, you can move next-door to me any day...
Oh, and brunette cutie @ 5:22 mins, you can move next-door to me any day...
Mr. Scrotato Head, well done sir, well done. Quality pear, douchie douches, and a merry tune, you sir have the Christmas spirit flowing through your blood.
Or just a whole lot of Jameson.
Either way it's a win.
Or just a whole lot of Jameson.
Either way it's a win.
Outstanding.
Just brilliant.
This made up for me not getting around to watching Christmas Story this year.
Truly, truly a masterpiece.
Have I sucked enough e-peen yet?
"4th grade education" cracks me up the most. Don't know why, but there ya go.
Merry Christmas bitches!
Just brilliant.
This made up for me not getting around to watching Christmas Story this year.
Truly, truly a masterpiece.
Have I sucked enough e-peen yet?
"4th grade education" cracks me up the most. Don't know why, but there ya go.
Merry Christmas bitches!
Mr. Head,
I suspect this may be the best gift I get this year - at least the biggest surprise and laughs!
"Partridge in an ass pear" was particular fave. But too many good moments to name.
Except the 20 seconds of Poopaloppa's competition photo. It's freakin' CHRISTMAS, not April Fool's, fer cryin' out loud. Have a heart.
I am crying. Seriously. Well, well done. Thanks for what obviously took a LOT of time - and fluids.
And to everyone, may your Christmas be filled with good food, good drink, and good sex.
The kind with a living person, and not - well, you know.
And a special Merry Mockmas to you, DB1!
May MTV extend your contract for as long as you want it, and may you earn residuals for spin-offs and re-runs for decades to come.
S.E.
I suspect this may be the best gift I get this year - at least the biggest surprise and laughs!
"Partridge in an ass pear" was particular fave. But too many good moments to name.
Except the 20 seconds of Poopaloppa's competition photo. It's freakin' CHRISTMAS, not April Fool's, fer cryin' out loud. Have a heart.
I am crying. Seriously. Well, well done. Thanks for what obviously took a LOT of time - and fluids.
And to everyone, may your Christmas be filled with good food, good drink, and good sex.
The kind with a living person, and not - well, you know.
And a special Merry Mockmas to you, DB1!
May MTV extend your contract for as long as you want it, and may you earn residuals for spin-offs and re-runs for decades to come.
S.E.
Mr. Scrote. You have now given me another classic to add to my christmas collection! It's right up there with UCB's Escape from It's a Wonderful Life and the Barely legal Christmas special.
I applaud you and your work and look forward to seeing what you'll cook up in 2010.
To all my other bag hunters and huntresses. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
I applaud you and your work and look forward to seeing what you'll cook up in 2010.
To all my other bag hunters and huntresses. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Absolutely oustanding. You always crack me up but this is over the top genius! Well done sir!
# posted by : 10:38 AM
: 10:38 AM
*POP!*
**clink, clink… clink**
*Glub, glub, glubglubglub*
A hearty cheer to Mr. Scrotato Head.
And Happy Holidays everyone. The next few days will see these comments thread counts diminish to the point that they mirror the IQ of our HCwDB Champion Smoot. But take heart, fellow regulars, for we shall all return, Boss willing, next year to continue this good and righteous war.
And to the remnant who will hold down the fort during this next week I say, “get the hell outta your basement, grab a hobo off the street, and get drunk together.” We all need a friend right now. Even Plinky.
Be safe. Be merry. Be sexually active – even if it means taking your relationship with your pet cat to the next level (Captain Bringdown).
And most of all, boobies!
**clink, clink… clink**
*Glub, glub, glubglubglub*
A hearty cheer to Mr. Scrotato Head.
And Happy Holidays everyone. The next few days will see these comments thread counts diminish to the point that they mirror the IQ of our HCwDB Champion Smoot. But take heart, fellow regulars, for we shall all return, Boss willing, next year to continue this good and righteous war.
And to the remnant who will hold down the fort during this next week I say, “get the hell outta your basement, grab a hobo off the street, and get drunk together.” We all need a friend right now. Even Plinky.
Be safe. Be merry. Be sexually active – even if it means taking your relationship with your pet cat to the next level (Captain Bringdown).
And most of all, boobies!
off the sauce for 30 some days now... Mr Scrotato Heads opus just may knock the wheels off the wagon, well done MSH, cheers to all!
falls on face, liver shoots out ass & grabs a bottle of bourbon
falls on face, liver shoots out ass & grabs a bottle of bourbon
Well done Mr. Scrotato Head, well done.
If the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences don't immediately create a category and award you a statue, then there is no justice in this world...
If the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences don't immediately create a category and award you a statue, then there is no justice in this world...
Well done, and since your voice can pass for Adam West over my tinny laptop speakers, it was just that much funnier.
# posted by : 12:09 PM
: 12:09 PM
@Crucial Head 11 am:
Thank you for volunteering; I do need a special holiday friend right now. Be right over.
Thank you for volunteering; I do need a special holiday friend right now. Be right over.
# posted by : 12:27 PM
: 12:27 PM
Dear Mr. Scrotato Head
You both fawking rock and fawking suck - not only are my rock hard abs (well camouflaged) sore from laughing (rock) but I need a new beer and lappy screen - oh my nose is sore from the beer (suckage).
Props my friend, many props.
May Santa leave an epic ass pear under your tree, a high end bottle in your stocking and a fat one on the plate where the scotch & oreos were.
You both fawking rock and fawking suck - not only are my rock hard abs (well camouflaged) sore from laughing (rock) but I need a new beer and lappy screen - oh my nose is sore from the beer (suckage).
Props my friend, many props.
May Santa leave an epic ass pear under your tree, a high end bottle in your stocking and a fat one on the plate where the scotch & oreos were.
MR. SCROTATO HEAD I BOW TO YOU FOR THAT OUTSTANDING VIDEO...dear god I have tears from laughing so hard...
Most excellent Mr. Scrotato Head, Most Excellent!!!
Just what I needed after spending three hours tonight with my relatives!
Bravo!!!
And Merry Christmas to one and all!
Just what I needed after spending three hours tonight with my relatives!
Bravo!!!
And Merry Christmas to one and all!
Well, it's christmass eve, and dragging on toward 11 PM. In laws are passed out from being old. Daughter is reading one of her Xmas gifties - Spiderman and Mary Jane. I used to live with Mary Jane. She was fucking HOTT. she had... "large tracts of land" and a sweet face with a bright smile. Sigh... Somethings just don't work out, and that is unfortunate, but fortunate for me, as all has worked out extremely well...so far...
And I'm sitting here HAMMERED out of my skull on Cruzan Aged Rum... No nogg, though - lactose intolerant. Sigh...
I'm doing a lot of sighing...
IT's Xmas eve, and I feel unease. But also some clarity.
I see douchebaggery in a new light. IT is is the most recent example of excess by the precarious. Look back to the Zoot Suited and the flappers before them. The ruling class do not admit such losers into their realm. Even Gator, for all his protestations, is very much nouveau riche, and not a member of the power structure.
These peacocks lack the actual connections to make them powerful, and so they mus resort to physical display. Physical display is the more atavistic method of power display, as contemporary power is all wrapped up in a combination of power, wealth, heritage, and position. Any one of those is required, although, singularly, none is sufficient to put one in the ruling elite.
So, symbols of value must be exchanged in order to resent association of power, and the classic example is one of resource disposition.
From the Kwakiutl potlatch to strippers waggling their bewbies at a bunch of drunken green-grocers from Minnesota in the hellhole that is Las Vegas, the wanton destruction and waste of resources has been a display of wealth and position. Naked women dancing in front of food and libation goes back to the cave...
Douchebags are simply the contemporary social result of this drive, and Xmas the political and economic institutionalisation.
As resources constrict over the next few decades, we will see the extremities of douchebaggery amplify as the delusional mindset of the consumption engine becomes increasingly irrational and stupendously spectacular. You think douchabags are bad? Just wait until gasoline hits $5 a gallon and stays there. You have NO idea.
Scapegoats will be found and in about 15 years when the energy return on energy invested for petroleum crosses over 1:1, and the collapse of western civilisation ensues, the extremity of douchebag behaviour will explode.
People will look back at this website and reminisce about the good old days - so free and innocent...
Rum does weird shit to my head.
And I'm sitting here HAMMERED out of my skull on Cruzan Aged Rum... No nogg, though - lactose intolerant. Sigh...
I'm doing a lot of sighing...
IT's Xmas eve, and I feel unease. But also some clarity.
I see douchebaggery in a new light. IT is is the most recent example of excess by the precarious. Look back to the Zoot Suited and the flappers before them. The ruling class do not admit such losers into their realm. Even Gator, for all his protestations, is very much nouveau riche, and not a member of the power structure.
These peacocks lack the actual connections to make them powerful, and so they mus resort to physical display. Physical display is the more atavistic method of power display, as contemporary power is all wrapped up in a combination of power, wealth, heritage, and position. Any one of those is required, although, singularly, none is sufficient to put one in the ruling elite.
So, symbols of value must be exchanged in order to resent association of power, and the classic example is one of resource disposition.
From the Kwakiutl potlatch to strippers waggling their bewbies at a bunch of drunken green-grocers from Minnesota in the hellhole that is Las Vegas, the wanton destruction and waste of resources has been a display of wealth and position. Naked women dancing in front of food and libation goes back to the cave...
Douchebags are simply the contemporary social result of this drive, and Xmas the political and economic institutionalisation.
As resources constrict over the next few decades, we will see the extremities of douchebaggery amplify as the delusional mindset of the consumption engine becomes increasingly irrational and stupendously spectacular. You think douchabags are bad? Just wait until gasoline hits $5 a gallon and stays there. You have NO idea.
Scapegoats will be found and in about 15 years when the energy return on energy invested for petroleum crosses over 1:1, and the collapse of western civilisation ensues, the extremity of douchebag behaviour will explode.
People will look back at this website and reminisce about the good old days - so free and innocent...
Rum does weird shit to my head.
@ Wheezer
I'm typically not one to motorboat and tell but I was able to accomplish that on my first night here in MA. It was fahckin' wicked retahded, dude! I was shut down beyond that, though, which is pretty respectable, huh?
I'm typically not one to motorboat and tell but I was able to accomplish that on my first night here in MA. It was fahckin' wicked retahded, dude! I was shut down beyond that, though, which is pretty respectable, huh?
Mr. Scrotato Head,
I will give you your props as soon as I find my headphones, I don't want to give away to my family just HOW into this HCwDB thing I am.
I will give you your props as soon as I find my headphones, I don't want to give away to my family just HOW into this HCwDB thing I am.
Stupendous, Mr. Scrotato Head. Haaaaaaaall oooof Hooooooott! Beautiful. And thank you for including Bracelets McC-Cup towards the end. I have a soft spot for her, even if her friend is technically hotter.
# posted by : 8:25 PM
: 8:25 PM
Funny from end to end, but I must admit that the Arthur Kade "four-saken future" line is where I started laughing out loud. Kudos. It isn't 2K10 yet, maybe Mr. Scrotato Head can still make the '09 class?
Thanks all for the very kind words. This video was my present to all you hatters. I can't think of a better group of perverts and Tourette syndrome victims I'd rather hang out with. Your supreme mock makes every day just that much better. I hope that my posts to HCwWB have brought you a smile or a few chuckles, because yours certainly have.
Another fine Christmas is under way at the Scrotato compound. The tots are tucked in bed, and I'm half way through a bottle of Jack Daniels. Mrs. Scrotato Head is putting the finishing touches on her Francine suit. I'll have my missle-toe, she'll have her camel toe, and all will be good in the world. You may see a few headlines about missing college co-eds in and around Salt Lake City. Pay no attention...bunch of lazy reporters.
Medusa, thanks for letting me defile you chapter after chapter in the Francine saga. No hard feelings I hope. Croosh, Vin, Doctor BH, SSS, Jacques Doucheteau, Baron Von Goolo, Mr. White, Wheezer, Ashfish, IdahoHott, DarkSock, Car Ramrod, Steve, Boatbutter, Mike, Captain Bringdown, Troy Tempest, massengill, creature, Anon in all your forms, and all the rest but especially DB1, may your stockings be filled with porch meat, your asses with Nerds, or pee, which ever you're unfortunate enough to get. Here's to a year of hott and douche properly mocked, and another just around the corner.
Nothing but love.
Another fine Christmas is under way at the Scrotato compound. The tots are tucked in bed, and I'm half way through a bottle of Jack Daniels. Mrs. Scrotato Head is putting the finishing touches on her Francine suit. I'll have my missle-toe, she'll have her camel toe, and all will be good in the world. You may see a few headlines about missing college co-eds in and around Salt Lake City. Pay no attention...bunch of lazy reporters.
Medusa, thanks for letting me defile you chapter after chapter in the Francine saga. No hard feelings I hope. Croosh, Vin, Doctor BH, SSS, Jacques Doucheteau, Baron Von Goolo, Mr. White, Wheezer, Ashfish, IdahoHott, DarkSock, Car Ramrod, Steve, Boatbutter, Mike, Captain Bringdown, Troy Tempest, massengill, creature, Anon in all your forms, and all the rest but especially DB1, may your stockings be filled with porch meat, your asses with Nerds, or pee, which ever you're unfortunate enough to get. Here's to a year of hott and douche properly mocked, and another just around the corner.
Nothing but love.
Back atcha, Scrotato, and no hard feelings whatsoever. My frail ego need constant bolstering (I'm a Leo on top of all the other crap wrong with me) so I'll devour any affirming overtures, no matter how lewd, unwarranted or creepy.
Which, of course, would explain my marriage to Mr. Oblongata. And if I stop showing up here in the threads it's because I have gone to his house and beaten him with a sack of salty fuccen ham. Yeah, I can't BELIEVE I divorced THAT fuccen prize.
However, Mr. Biscotti has been sweet talking, doting, and pluggin all my holes with salty fuccen prosciutto and that has made for a Merry Fuccen Christmas indeed. I'm at my Sister's house, the immortal Noomsie Oblongata and her Gorgon pods are in bed dreaming of Flyteeth Claus. So, regrettably, I cannot enjoy this fine musical reat that you've gifted us with, Dear Mr. Scrotato. However, as soon as I am free to enjoy profane music again I will check it out posthaste. Thanks for your tireless work for the cause, be it filthy prose or funny musicals. You, sir, are what this site is really all about.
Oh, toss off, it's all about the boobs. Especially Christmas boobs.
TITAAAAYS!!!
Great, now I'm gonna defile my sister's house by masturbating in the guest bed over reindeer tits. I knew I'd had way too much coffee and cookies tonight.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good load!!!!
Which, of course, would explain my marriage to Mr. Oblongata. And if I stop showing up here in the threads it's because I have gone to his house and beaten him with a sack of salty fuccen ham. Yeah, I can't BELIEVE I divorced THAT fuccen prize.
However, Mr. Biscotti has been sweet talking, doting, and pluggin all my holes with salty fuccen prosciutto and that has made for a Merry Fuccen Christmas indeed. I'm at my Sister's house, the immortal Noomsie Oblongata and her Gorgon pods are in bed dreaming of Flyteeth Claus. So, regrettably, I cannot enjoy this fine musical reat that you've gifted us with, Dear Mr. Scrotato. However, as soon as I am free to enjoy profane music again I will check it out posthaste. Thanks for your tireless work for the cause, be it filthy prose or funny musicals. You, sir, are what this site is really all about.
Oh, toss off, it's all about the boobs. Especially Christmas boobs.
TITAAAAYS!!!
Great, now I'm gonna defile my sister's house by masturbating in the guest bed over reindeer tits. I knew I'd had way too much coffee and cookies tonight.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good load!!!!
i think this video is official proof that being a hatter actually puts you on Santa's "nice" list.
and we all know who would be on Santa's "naughty" list. and i do not mean "naughty" in a sexually delightful way.
it's technically a bit late to say this where i live, but regardless - Merry Christmas to HCwDB and the world over!
and we all know who would be on Santa's "naughty" list. and i do not mean "naughty" in a sexually delightful way.
it's technically a bit late to say this where i live, but regardless - Merry Christmas to HCwDB and the world over!
To quote Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, "OUTFUCKINGSTANDING!"
Excellent work, Mr. Scrotato Head. Thanks and a Marry Christmas to all.
Excellent work, Mr. Scrotato Head. Thanks and a Marry Christmas to all.
@ Scrotato
I cracked up so hard that I stacked a package of hostess donuts around my winky & fed them to the possum outback just to stop jibbering
I cracked up so hard that I stacked a package of hostess donuts around my winky & fed them to the possum outback just to stop jibbering
BRA-fucking-VO! Holy shit, that was fucking hysterical. I was in need of a good laugh and you brave sir, have provided it. Merry X-mas to all and to all a good fwopping.
Thank you Mr. Scrotato Head.
Brilliant! I say congratulation and may your porch meat be forever salty.
Brilliant! I say congratulation and may your porch meat be forever salty.
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
Effin Awesome. I laughed, and then I cried over all that Quality Ass(tm) going to waste.
Effin Awesome. I laughed, and then I cried over all that Quality Ass(tm) going to waste.
Can't even come up with something clever that would say it better than: that was FUCKING OUTSTANDING!
*huge applause*
*huge applause*
I don't know. This didn't even make me smile once. I didn't think it was funny, and the audio production was really bad. I get a laugh out of this site because the writing is really witty and most of the pictures are completely absurd, but I think some of the people that post here probably haven't seen pussy since the one that gave birth to them. FAIL.
Post a Comment
# posted by : 3:18 AM
: 3:18 AM << Home
