This is the face of someone swallowing her own puke while trying to smile at the same time.
 

This isn't Bono from U-2, it's Oh-No from U-0.
 

I wear my shooting glasses at night
 

Best.
Title.
Ever.

(However I think you'll find the Unforgettable Fire is a criminally underrated album).
 

This brings up an interesting thought! Bono is arguably one of the coolest rockers of all time and in my book receives a life time nottadouche pass. So if some turd attempts to emulate, is he a douche? I tend to error on the side of caution and say yes, because in the end the turd didn't write all of the cool songs, but worth a ponder none the less.
 

As God took the photo Mindy could only squint as his magnificent brilliance blinded all those who dare look upon him.

Bono's BluBlockers let him look on un-impeded. If only the Nazis had his sweet shades when they looked into the Arc of the Covenant.
 

That's "Zono" , Bono's brother.


Signed,

Frank Stallone

Michael Bacon

Andrew Wilson

William Baldwin

Brian Doyle-Murray

Don Swayze

Dedee Pfeiffer

Charlie Murphy

Joe Estevez

Eric Douglass

Chad Lowe
 

@ Edge

You my friend are one of the coolest side kicks in rock history. From just the name alone!

But I say no pass for the Bonowannabe bag.

Pride (in the name of Love) one of the great songs of all time.

Dr. DB
 

@Vin

dont forget your lesser known brother Von Douchal
 

Not a fan of Edge. Sometimes his guitar playing sounds like a car alarm going off.

I appreciate his place in Rock but please don't confuse him with the great players.

This is guitar playing:

Clickk
 

What looks like a smile, is actually the result of a severe concussion.
As Mindy plopped down on the couch, the back of her head struck the wall with sufficient force to crack mortar and brick.
 

I've come to 2 conclusions - 1. Douches don't own mirrors. 2. Their friends are liars. If they owned mirrors and their friends told the truth they would never, EVER go out in public and smile like this fucktard.
 

Not great, just cool as a side kick goes. And to the tone def like the good Dr. DB is, I likes the ways it sounds.

As for great, I am a big fan of Phil Keagy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ozk10w2wFuw&feature=related

Sorry i dont know how to post links.

Dr. DB
 

The only people who should dress like that with glasses like that are the actual Bono, and perhaps George Michael. And even they are douches, albeit with the "Performer Pass" on being labelled so.

She used to be much tastier. She's aging well, mind, but she ain't ageless.
 

I'm not sure, I say "nottadouche." Let's weigh the factors in favor and against

DOUCHE-- Glasses, Shirt, Hair Gel, lame club setting.

NOTTA'-- No 'tude, No tattoos, No douche moves, hand gestures, or groin-shave reveal.

DECIDING FACTOR-- despite the fact that Mindy took a bad picture here, she's totally going home with him and will repeatedly flood her rapidly drying womb with his man-batter.
 

Spot-on labelling her as "Mindy from HR", DB1!

She's that cute, perky, squinty-eyed spinner of a blonde in everyone's office--you know, the one that's always cheery. But you just know she's got emotional issues, and is probably a cryer when nobody's looking.

Mindy's a good subject with which to play "Guess the Panties" with your male cohorts. 'Cause if she ever found out, she'd probably just give you a quick *tsk* and a smile, followed by a flirty slap to the chest. Or at least, that's what I hope...
 

This is Gene Splice, half-brother to both Bono and Mike Piazza.

Mindy ain't McReady for the children that'll come from their pairing.....
 

She has vurp face. White nailed it.

Don't have the spicy nachos next time, sister.
 

Not-A-Douche, but does belong on the sister site: Hot Chicks with Dorks.

ASvB
 

Hubert had a strict personal policy of sewing the eyes and mouths of his date’s shut before completing the air-tight process later that evening.
 

@ Vin,

Excellent jams.

More great guitar playing, (country-fried):

click here
 

Those are glasses made from fruit roll up. After about 30 minutes of wearing them you have to eat them. The thing is that they are made for kids, not their grandfathers.

And Mindy looks like a thinner, blond version of Jennifer Love Hewitt, so I'll call this gal, Jennifer Love Poo-it.
 

I think I heard this song by Corey Hart once...

Douches wear their sunglasses at night
So they can So they can
Watch the Bleeths
And check the mirror all night

Got a bad credit history,
Got no job security,
Is she in a sorority?
I turn to the camera and say (get some)

Hotts get played,
By the douche in shades, oh no
Check the groin shave,
On the douche in shades, oh no.
I'll never get laid,
'Cause I'm a douche in shades, oh no

That's all I have time for right now.

Get some.
 

I have seen that Nottie before... I'm sure of it. Oh, I know:

(^_^)

It's squinty, the human emoticon.
 

As a practitioner of HR these past 18 years I can say with absolute certainty that the ratio of Mindy's to Mongo's is 1:1000.

Went to the annual HR convention in Las Vegas of all places several years ago. Record breaking conference attendence, we're talking 40,000+.

The swick-swick of so many sacks of suckling pigs wrapped in polyester pants rubbing back and forth caused a mass exodus from the city, thus starting the economic collapse that we're all experiencing.

That the local prostitutes couldn't give their services away didn't help matters much.

Though they are all now much more knowledgeable of the Family and Medical Leave and Americans with Disabilities Acts.

Oh, and Rubben Studdard rocked the Hizzouse on Opening Night.

Yeah, I said Hizzouse, cuz' we HR peeps are down like that.





And by the way, if it hasn't shined through already, I hate people.
 

Inspiration: Mr. Scrotato Head
Band: 4F
Sung to the tune of : Sunday Bloody Sunday

Yes...

I can't believe my eyes today
Oh, I can't close my eyes and make them go away
How long, how long must we see these choads?
How long? How long?
'Cause tonight we must beat them down, tonight

White belts and day-glo orange tans
Popped collars and sideways peace signs
Six pound wathces and fuaxhawks
I want to throw up, and crack some fucking skulls

Yes you are a douchebag
Yes you are a douchebag
Yes you are a douchebag


And our battle's just begun
Hot Chicks with Douchebags is here to spread the call
We will mock until we win
So invite anyone who'll help them fall

Yes you are a douchebag
Yes you are a douchebag

How long, how long must we see these choads?
How long? How long?
'Cause tonight we must beat them down, tonight, tonight

Yes you are a douchebag
Yes you are a douchebag

Take off the stupid bling
Wipe your tan away
Oh, wipe your tan away
Oh, wipe your tan away
Oh, put your hat on straight

Yes you are a douchebag
Yes you are a douchebag

Stop making kissy faces
Burn your Ed Hardy and throw your AXE away
Fake dogs tags and Affliction
We mock and drink while tomorrow they die
Our battle carries on
to claim the victory we will win

Yes you are a douchebag
Yes you are a douchebag
 

@Vin Douchal and scrotum pole.

Please. You guys need to get out more often:

strummmmmmmm.
 

@Dr. DB^

Standing Ovation
 

In 2K10, The stars shine day and night. The resulting equipment advances are significant but hardly revolutionary. Sunglass lense color must match the upholstery.
 

I personally feel Bono and The Edge are the ultimate rockerbags. You know how girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice?, well wearing sunglasses all the time "because you can" and referring to yourself in the 3rd person are what douche is made of.

And here is some awesome geetahrin y'all

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l8VwT0WjNs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfcYMzVfN1o&feature=PlayList&p=2B36BCEA2F310CC3&index=2

I also, am unskilled in posting fancy links
 

at least The Edge isn't as terrible as that assclown Alex Lifeson.

phah would agree with me on that.
 

Edge is far better than that fag Harrison.
 

Whuttup Doc?

Is your taint sore yet?
 

Whatever you guys do, don't rip on my man Yngwie.
 

Meh.

We've seen worse.
 

Mindy thinks looking like Rene Zellwegar is a good thing. Open your eyes already. You almost sat on a Douche.
 

I want ass pear!
 

@ Mr. White
 

All the hair gel in the world won't cover up the fact that you're going bald Mr. Bonobag, just ask Crimson Ted.

And your lady friend has some nice shoulders. I can see that she has stuck to her Jane Fonda workout plan for many moons now, and I thoroughly appreciate it. I want her to ruff me up in my favorite roll playing game, "Mr. Naughty pants McPrisoner is corporally punished by the taught lady prison guard."

Yeah, that's a fun game.
 

Since nobody's claimed Mindy's pooper for their urinary amusement yet, I might as well mark my territory:

I'd pee in Mindy's butt.

Something tells me she'd be giggling the whole time, too. Sorry, I've got no words for Bonobag. Yes he's douchey, but mostly because he's just trying too hard.
 

Excellent work, Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche!

@ Mr. Scrotato Head:

H. Ross Perot once told a story about how he had eliminated almost all of the "personnel" people at his companies but said they morphed into "Human Resources" and, like cockroaches, he could never get rid of them.

No offense intended to your field but an HR guy admitting to hating people is hysterically ironic.
 

Looks like the couch Crimson Ted has.
 

You summoned me?
 

Mindy's pancake-boobies are matched only by her flat ass and cottage-cheese cellulite, while Bono-bag cries out to be lightly tickled with angle feathers.

... Whoa! What in the hell just happened there. Sorry, wrong site.
 

The only person more pathetic than the douchebag who tries to co-opt the look of a rather distinctive celebrity as his own is the brainless chick who is impressed by him...

He's a totally fucking loser, not a douche, and she is so sad and pathetic as to be wholly unfuckable.
 

In the howling wind, comes the Axe Effect
See it stinging eyes
Of all people who deserve respect
From the douche's face
A bright cock-shaped glow
It's the mark of scrote urging women to go...

OOOOOh OOOh OOh OOOOOH OOOOOH!
OOOOOh OOOh OOh OOOOOH OOOOOH!

Douchebag in a bar
Douchebag in a bar
Douche up the bar
Douche up the bar

The douche comes up to me
His face tainted by the mark of scrote
Like all the colors of a toilet brush
And he's peeling off those dollar bills
Slipping them down
One hundred, two hundred
And I can see those Grey Goose bottles
And I can see those Grey Goose bottles
Across the bar where the bleeths meet
To go home with douchebags down the quiet city street
You take the staircase to the second floor
Turn the key and slowly unlock the door
As your roommate fiddles his with iPhone
Through the wall you hear a bleeth moan.
What's happened to America
What's happened to America
 

^^^ Perfect!
 

Hey Bonobag,

George Michael, circa 1987, wants his outfit back. Oh, and your girlfriend needs to go back to Whoville.

I gots your back...in the name of love.
S
 

DB1...wasn't there a bonobag last year??? or in '08?????
 

@Horace Dangleballs

No offense taken. Funny thing, I got into this profession because the HR manager at my first real job was a complete waste of flesh. I was a supervisor trying to do a good job and she was absolutely useless. I figured, I can do better than her.

18 years later. I'm the HR guy that doesn't do HR shit. My boss and the guys who make the money seem to think I'm doing okay.

And Ross Perot? Pfah. Where is he now? Stumpy elephant.
 

she looks like she just farted and can't wait for bonobag to figure it out :-D
 

I think Mindy cresting into the weepy end of the bender.

I've been there, Mindy. I've been there.

No, wait, I haven't. I never went home with a Bonobag. But I did go home with one of these and something like this and a couple of these and occasionally one of those.

It's a slippery slope, Mindy. Let's hope the next one isn't a Captain Lou Albano lookalike or something.
 

so how WERE the options on match.com when times were better?

... sorry for asking.
 

Isn't combining the words "Bono" and "'bag" redundant? (Rocker pass and important charity work notwithstanding.)
 

hahaha....wearing sunglasses indoors is gay.
 

Although she is a decade
Older, I want to throw her over my shoulder, unfold her clothes reveal her boulders, explore her canyons, feel her smolder.

She kind of looks like Hello Kitty.

C-Baggins
 

Yes, wearing sunglasses indoors (especially THOSE glasses!) merits an automatic DOUCHEqualification.

P.S. Bono is the world’s coolest rock star AND a colossal douche! It’s a documented fact…

The Reverend Dr. Martin Doucher Bling
 

Pass. All this guy needs is a shower, and for me to burn all his clothes while he's taking it.