Thursday, January 28, 2010
Mopey the Beanstalk
I'd almost consider a nottadouche and instead a "Conquistador San Salvadoran Pirate" classification, Mopey.
But then you had to go with the gypsy moth upper lip thing. And that makes you 'bag.
I see each of you Kappa Kappa Woo girls. Lanny, Muffy and Sue. And I highly respect each of you for majoring in Physical Therapy.
And, as appreciation for your beautiful minds and endless repetition of the word "like," I would lightly touch your thighs with an ostrich feather after you passed out on my couch at 2am.
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I'd touch them with my own personal vein-filled feather that's not really a feather at all but my Cockk Hammer.
If I could Catch her in the Rye, I would like to Holden her Caulfield’s.
R.I.P. JD Salinger.
R.I.P. JD Salinger.
# posted by 
: 1:20 PM
: 1:20 PM
I am not normally into Asian broads but these two will do quite nicely. The Jewy blonde ain't too bad either
# posted by : 1:21 PM
: 1:21 PM
New Librarian Hott , S E Cupp, from Fox News and Tucker Carlson's Daily Caller.com:
Here
Here
No Glasses
Here
Here
No Glasses
I would do unspeakable things to middle Blake Lively Hott. And by "unspeakable" I mean there's not even names for such acts in the Urban Dictionary yet.
He is.. how you say, smelling of poo.
He is.. how you say, smelling of poo.
The perhaps half-Asian number in the red dress is simply glorious. If I see one more Williamsburg hipster soaking up girl next door hotts like this, I may just officially end my pitiful existence.
Hey Mopes, you've managed to wrangle yourself into a photo-op with a three pack of stone-cold hotties. At least look like you give a sh*t, freak.
Allo. My naim ehs Alejandro Oberto Fabrizio y Jose Del Maguey. Ay aim yore fahthayrrrrr.
Preepairrre to die.
Preepairrre to die.
# posted by : 3:05 PM
: 3:05 PM
Hello, my name is Che Zatara. It looks like you need someone to ruin a pictures of Woo hotts. Prepare to vomit.
Hello. My name is Jorge de Jesus y Jesus Francisco Garcia De La Tarde. I just farted.
Prepare to die.
Prepare to die.
# posted by : 3:07 PM
: 3:07 PM
Hello. My name is Amerigo Vespooey. I discover Cristobal Colon's colon... with my meat stick.
Prepare to die.
Prepare to die.
# posted by : 3:13 PM
: 3:13 PM
Hallo. My naym ees Ponch De Pee On. I discoverrrr fountain of life beneath theese laydees in thee toilet rrrroom.
Prrrreparrrre to die.
Prrrreparrrre to die.
# posted by : 3:17 PM
: 3:17 PM
Hello, my name is Romeo. I'm pissed because my girlfriend apparently killed herself last night. I just filled this cup with poison.
Prepare to die.
Prepare to die.
# posted by : 3:29 PM
: 3:29 PM
his beard resembles the one that was glued on the face of the costumed jihadist in "jack ass" ya know in which all the cast contributed pubic hair
Challo mi geerfriends. My naime es William Shakespeare. I juss wrote a sonnet about deeddling ze leetle boiss.
Prepayah to die.
Prepayah to die.
# posted by : 3:34 PM
: 3:34 PM
Hello lady in the red dress.
I have twenty-six dollars that could be yours for five measley minutes of tweezing my balls. Think about it, that's over three hundred bucks per hour.
Sincerely horny,
S Cubed
I have twenty-six dollars that could be yours for five measley minutes of tweezing my balls. Think about it, that's over three hundred bucks per hour.
Sincerely horny,
S Cubed
Looks more than half Asian, definitely not quartasian.
Nice looking gals, with another pseudo-sensitive art douche. This time, with really bizarre facial hair. At least he skipped the guybrowliner.
Nice looking gals, with another pseudo-sensitive art douche. This time, with really bizarre facial hair. At least he skipped the guybrowliner.
# posted by : 5:08 PM
: 5:08 PM
^Ashley is one of the best stripper names of all time. And Anna....Farris. 'Nuff said.
Sproinggggg.....
Sproinggggg.....
His face says: "I am crying on the inside, yet douching on the outside. Yet my douche droplets are lost, like tears in a pain rain of Midol pellets. Kick my balls into ovaries until your feet are glistening red."
# posted by : 8:34 PM
: 8:34 PM
His face is a map of pain that says "countless thousands died in the wretched muck of the Haiti quake, but more importantly, Dad wouldn't let me use his Audi A6 for my poon trek to Aspen".
His face says "O to have been Freddie Mercury's bicycle seat.....ssssssss-fip-fip-fippp!".
# posted by : 8:37 PM
: 8:37 PM
Ahhhh, late to the party again, and late as hell with the Inigo Montoya jokes. Bummer. Justin, you get a special award for your stellar work on this thread, I nearly pissed myself. I'm sending a slice of red velvet cake your way. Hope it's not stale when it gets there.
Game of Threes...
I really like his special three-way Mark of the Douche: straight up in the middle with flattened balls right below, a wide nose to echo the effect,and an extra-wide 'stache breaker to bounce off yet another reverberation of "DOUCHE...douche...douche..."
I suspect those three are readying to walk all over his nekkid back in a trifecta ritual of Asian massage (that otherwise uses hot rocks when females are not available) involving hair-tickling and blowing hot air in nether-zones.
Lanny echoes his VEE-bling with a not-so-subtle "Me, too" universal VODKA sign.
As usual, I am always reminded of Richard Nixon hoisting both arms in the air using the same VODKA sign when he made his last ascent onto the lollycopter that was to take him away to the nether-zone of "resigned presidents."
I really like his special three-way Mark of the Douche: straight up in the middle with flattened balls right below, a wide nose to echo the effect,and an extra-wide 'stache breaker to bounce off yet another reverberation of "DOUCHE...douche...douche..."
I suspect those three are readying to walk all over his nekkid back in a trifecta ritual of Asian massage (that otherwise uses hot rocks when females are not available) involving hair-tickling and blowing hot air in nether-zones.
Lanny echoes his VEE-bling with a not-so-subtle "Me, too" universal VODKA sign.
As usual, I am always reminded of Richard Nixon hoisting both arms in the air using the same VODKA sign when he made his last ascent onto the lollycopter that was to take him away to the nether-zone of "resigned presidents."
My name is Richard Nixon. You have protested on campus against the war. Prepare to die!
What? Too soon?
What? Too soon?
Hello, my name is Cockk the Mounty Hunter. My show is stale, but these ladies need to go to jail.
Prepare to die.
Prepare to die.
# posted by : 11:27 PM
: 11:27 PM
Buenos Noches. Mi llamo es Senor Cavebrow. Mi amo chicklets and these chicks con dicks.
Prepare to die.
Prepare to die.
# posted by : 11:30 PM
: 11:30 PM
Good afternoon. The toot I just secreted reeks of burnt cabbage being smoked inside the urethra of a WNBA player at halftime. I raise this glass of milked porch beef to everyone in this room's demise.
Prepare to die.
Prepare to die.
# posted by : 11:34 PM
: 11:34 PM
Why, good evening. The poor blond chap behind me has endeavored fruitlessly all day to unwind the jellydong from my colon.
I don't like fruitless chaps.
Prepare to die.
I don't like fruitless chaps.
Prepare to die.
# posted by : 11:37 PM
: 11:37 PM
A weary Nanki-Poo, beaten down by his botching the lyrics of "A Wandering Minstrel, I" to "A Wandering Menstrual, I" takes a rehearsal break with the "Three Little Maids From School Are We" retinue in the Doucheswerke-Production of "The Mikado" directed by Samurai Scrote, who yelled at him, "You'd bloody not do THAT again!!!!"
The Inigo Montoya call is one of the all-time greats.
How about establishing a Douche Look-alike category? Just a random thought on a hangover-laden Friday morning.
How about establishing a Douche Look-alike category? Just a random thought on a hangover-laden Friday morning.
Instinct tells me we are seeing three skilled douchehunters in action: what douche, no matter how egocentric and closeted-gay, could refuse to pose for a photo with these three bundles of wonderfully-assembled amino acids?
hahaha you guys are just fucken haters this guy has 3 chicks in arms and you fat little no lifes geeks are trying to talk down on him. jokes
# posted by : 1:52 PM
: 1:52 PM
Anon 1:52
Stop felching long enough to understand what is going on here, dumbass.
And wipe off your chin, for fuck's sake.
Stop felching long enough to understand what is going on here, dumbass.
And wipe off your chin, for fuck's sake.
While all the focus seems to be on RedDressHott(tm), I'm feeling unusually partial towards the asian girl on the far right, with the killer smile. And by unusually partial, I mean fairly erect.
# posted by : 12:34 PM
: 12:34 PM
how awesome to be scrolling thru my fav website and find my girlfriend in one of the photos.....FML she has some explaining to do.
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# posted by : 10:59 AM
: 10:59 AM << Home
