I'd totally make out with her in the supply closet while she fondles my 8 1/2 x 11 incher.

Yeah, let's leverage your bottom line and create some strategic synergy baby. That's the type of continuous improvement initiatives I like to see! Mmmmmm...
 

That my friends, is what happens when Darksock pees in the butt of a seabass.

Just look at this unholy attrocity.

Your lust knows no bounds 'Sock. Are you happy now? HUH, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!?!

Now your mutant bastard half-fish son will be forced to live a life of humiliation and shame.
 

Joe Dirt was some of his best work ever.

@Jacques
Yeah, but what good is all that length if you're paper thin?

Muthafucka!
 

Is that a subtly-hidden Hitler face on his shirt?

Ixnay, DB1! Auxfay Alkenway is a egularray!!
 

More like "Dead Douche Walking".

I've seen livelier looking vienna sausages.

She has a great night ahead of her. Drink up, girlfriend. Bring your tazer...he might need a jolt.
S
 

It's Buckwheats for this guy! Buckwheats!
 

She looks like a girl who would make you breakfast.
 

I bet she likes boisenberry.
 

You just have to laugh...and cock the hammer. Hold tight, semi-hott, and cover your ears; it will all be over soon.
 

is that a scar from having her kidney removed?

you have to respect a woman who wakes up in an bathtub full of ice, with a scar that doesn't go with her outfits, and doesn't consider it a deal breaker.

i wonder if she tells the chicks at work she is dating a surgeon?
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

I wonder if this this guy likes Keanu's Sausage
 

Teri has a rule that she only picks prospective boyfriends who match her apartment's beige interior.
S
 

He stuck his finger in Lamp's socket. The results were better than expected, but only for Lamp.
 

The Faux Walken and the kissy-face make him a douche for sure, but we've got to have standards around here. And even though I'd look up her skirt while she's serving me pancakes at Waffle House, she ain't no hott.
 

I think he just shoved Bruce Dickinson's cowbell up his ass.

And then he put his pants on one leg at a time.
 

Oh gawd, another Rosetta Stone tee-shirt.

He translates somewhere between faux walken and a younger Orson Welles, with a Rosebud of a lip pucker.

She is a candy Kane in licorice, and if you popped her into the top of a juicy orange and sucked, the sweet melange of peppermint and OJ would make tastebuds very happy campers.

I'm settin' up my pup tent.
 

She's definitely doable.
 

Immediately after the camera flashed, he turned to her and said, "Take out my dick. Atwater! Take it out. TAKE IT OUT!"
 

Wow I love the white on white style of the abode with the tan carpet...

Also, did Rip Van Bleethkle fall asleep in 1985 on what was once a totally white leather couch, in clothes and a hairdo that was fashionable at the time, only to wake up in 2010 and realize that not only isn't The Outfield in Kasey Kasem's America's Top 40 but that she's no longer in style?
 

^ the apartment ain't the only low-rent thing in this pic.
 

She's got a Laura Dern thing going on which I respect immensely. and by respect I mean sully by 'bating to.

He looks like someone tried to shave a Yeti but the Gillette trac II gave out at the scalpline.
 

Damn you Darksock, you son of a bitch. Just look at your son!

You can bet your ass that I'm comin' for dat unpaid child support!

And your prized collection of jelly dongs? Yeah, consider them mine!
 

Mr. Sock, I have been notified of your complete disregard of your financial responsibilities of one Halibut Sock, son of one Ms. Gloria Seabass, and have been hired to reconcile said fiscal liability.

I'm sure you saw this coming, as your reputation of being a promiscuous butt urinator precedes you. I have also been informed that you're a marginally successful architect, so I'm sure the cost of this litigation will be well within your financial grasp.

To settle the issue, Ms. Seabass seeks:

- Your beat-up, piece of shit, bayou dingy
- Your twenty-two year collection of "Fish Titts" Magazines
- Thirty pounds of chum
- Six barrels of your coveted bathtub gin
- Your shoe
- And finally, your diamond encrusted jelly dong

If you do not pay the afformentioned settlement, you will promptly be served with a subpoena to the Greater Court of the Gulf of Mexico.

Sincerely,

Roughy Phish Orange
 

This guy is in a tv commercial that has been airing lately. I have been drinking and watching for it all afternoon, but I apparently have much more work to do. Wish me luck!
 

That's it, if a PIC deletes, I get a free pass to go sledding in Colorado.

See ya, Rosebud.
 

Damn the heat's on...time to put down my drink and speed into the black night in a boat...



wait...
 

Mmmmmmmm....fish tits.
 

Midwestern Future Midlevel Employee Real Girl Cutie might be a handful to type out, but the girl certainly deserved the honor.

damn you Faux Walken!