Samurai Scrote comment 11,273 was pretty stellar
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Conflicing edits: the bane of all bloggers. Many a clever comment has been lost to this annoying little fuccer.

Of course, a lot of Anon's postings get lost in there, too. So there is some benefit to the rest of us.

Muthafuckas!
 

And possibly dumping the Sierra Madre class trove of comedic gold that is HCwDB 1.0 is an upgrade how, exactly?

I am furrowing my brow while raising one eyebrow and scowling.
 

hey DB1, in case you need some help finding that Ass Pear tomorrow
 

Thanks jonezy (4:13 p.m.) - I will not be able to sleep on my stomach tonight.
 

Is that Donkey Douche's broheim in the photo here?
 

@ jonezy

Damn.
 

@BvG, no choice, Blogger is shutting down support for FTP sites such as myself. I gotta move the publishing platform, and not sure yet what that'll do to the threads.

- management
 

Won't "full message board functionality" allow us to more easily access certain posts? For our "Hall of Mock" page, this can allow us to choose a given post to link on our names. I may actually have one or two worthy of that, but the others surely have too many to pick just one.

Anyway, I'm OK with the changes if they're necessary. It's just something new to learn, though I hope nothing is lost. There are way too many epic posts here that would provide laughter forever. Yet, our baghunting crew is more than capable of delivering much, much more.
 

Boss,

Can we register our names in advance?

I mean, it took me nearly thirty years to come up with Crucial Head. I just don't think my comments hold the same weight with a moniker like Ludacris Axehandle McCockkwielder...
 

So, this means someone with a minimal amount of HTML skills will be able to add photos, video and things like underlining to their posts?


If so, cool. Let 'er rip.


BTW, if you just copy your post (control a, then copy) and then hit preview to proof read, if it gets swallered up in Plinky's mom's cavernous bung hole ( aka conflicting edits) you can just paste it back and keep going.

Because everyone proof reads before posting, right?
 

Right?
 

Damn, this is like being in your house after it just caught fire and you're looking around trying to figure out what to save and what to let burn.

The Sam Scrote, Xenu, Dog vs. Ultimate Fighter, and the thread where the regs took on the Magician lovers should be saved for eternity.

I'm sure you guys can come up with some others that must be saved.
 

This place has gone corporate....
 

@ jonezy.

Holy dingle berry bombs, batman. Thanks for helping perk up an otherwise shitty day.
 

Just asking, but, why are they holding

HempCon

in February and August? Wouldn't April 20th be the right day?
 

If you are hosting the site at your own URL, then all the comments should be in a database somewhere on your site.

If that's the case, then you should be able to move the whole kit and kaboodle to a new directory and set up the old site as a museum with a link to it from the new site.

If that's not the case, then something need to be done and done quickly - there's waaaaay too much utterly insane shit here to just let it disappear.

Idea: contact archive.org and have them spider the fuck out of the site, and dupe the whole thing at archive.org.

I don't know if archive can archive AJAX sites like this, though, much less spider them.

good luck.

To others: Someone needs to copy/paste the samurai scrote thread to a word doc ASAP, as well as other important/funny/retarded threads ASAP.

Yeeesh.
 

The Samurai Scrote thread would be a great bathroom book. Take a seat and open it anywhere.
 

Oh, and I might add that today is Thursday.....as in "Half-Naked Thursday" over on HyperSexualGirl's Blogger page.

And there ain't nuttin' "half" about today's pic.

Meaning that if I need to tell you that it isn't worksafe, you're not all there in the head.
 

Mission Control - we have a problem...

I went to the Samurai Scrote page:

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2008/10/samurai-scrote.html

to labouriously copy and paste EVERY FUCCEN PAGE of commentary into a word doc and...

The comments are gone.

There is one page of comments but no links to newer or newest.

Either my browser is shite, or we have just lost a MIGHTY piece of internet art.

This is important.

Please advise.
 

Try this link. If it doesn't work then get a better browser.
 

Luckily, I've never said anything remotely funny on this site, so I'm good. Please, try the fish.
 

This will have no effect on my levels of drinking, so precede as you must.
 

anon - thanks!
 

@ Troy

You're welcome
 

user upload functions?

holy shit.
 

So: I copied the entire Samurai Scrote thread, from #1 - 10457 int oa word doc. Right now, it it 1354 pages long. I will fix that...
 

So, I got it down to 596 2 column pages...
 

Troy:

Not to be too much of a pain in the ass, but could you just get it down to like five or six pages for me? Thanks, bro. Love you fuccen Canadians. And your whiskey too, thanks very much.

Jonezy, great job with the pear tree. I saved 'em all. My new screensavers for 2010 and beyond. You da man.

Vin, make sure you wear your scrubs to that medical marijuana convention. You might see me there. I'll be the guy driving the skip loader.
 

@Troy,

May Lämp reward you for your efforts my good man.
 

Remember when Comment Deleted posted:

This post has been removed by the author.

Sniff!

I'm gonna miss that classy shit.

I hear he's getting a job writing for Ben Stiller.

Seriously though, when that's gone, what else is there?

Cut and Paste, here I come.
 

I don't know if this helps, but I've got EVERYTHING backed up on microfiche.
 

^Thanks a lot, M. I have mine on stone tablets.
 

Yea!
 

Ya know, I've had it up to HERE with everyone's bitchin' and moaning.

Fuck Conflicting Edits!

Goddamn Conflicting Edits!

A whole paragraph of my best work EVER lost to that bastard Conflicting Edits

My wife won't suck my dick but she'll give Conflicting Edits a rimjob reach around piss in the face.

You think I like getting stuck with all your shit? Fuck that. I've literally file cabinets full of tranny jokes, gay one liners, and stupid made up shit like "Turnbuckle Nipple Bisquits." Seriously, what the fuck is that?

And how many ways can you say "That douchebag is so gay". You want to know how many ways? I'll tell you how many ways. 42,384 fucking ways, and everyone one of them just as unfunny as the last. Although GloryHole, Vin Douchal's parody of Van Morrison's Gloria, was exceptional.

Even worse is all the inbred ass fucking that goes on between the Regulars.

Medusa crammed her fingers hard and fast into Francine's wet, trembling cunt, the girl stiffling a scream with her own hand. Curling the fingers just so she began working them in and out, ribbons of pussy juice spilling onto the floor at her feet. Medusa looked over her shoulder and snarled at Mr. Scrotato Head, who was working his rock hard flesh obelisk in and out of her welcoming ass...

Really? "Rock hard flesh obelisk". That's almost as retarded as "Even though he was spent, she clenched her ass tight, holding him with a grip that told him he wasn't going anywhere for a while." Yeah, like she wants to carry you around in her ass like an impacted enima. You're all damn lucky the 15 other chapters of the Medusa-Francine lick fest ended up with me. That's right, 15. Move to Chicago and put the rabbit in her stew pot already.

Honest to god, none of you are nearly as funny as you think you are. Crucial Head, you aught to get down on your knees and suck my dick for all the weak-ass Madd TV Lenny Bruce rip offs of yours that have ended up with me instead of on this dumb ass site.

And you think things'll be better on HCwDB Fuck 2.Fuck? Guess again. Two posts into it and you'll be wishing you had Conflicting Edits to kick around. And I don't give a fuck. I'll be over at icanhascheeseburger.com where they appreciate a good editor.

So fuck off all y'all. Enjoy these last few weeks while you can. After that, every one of your weak-ass posts are going to be out there for everyone to want to slit their wrists over.

It's not my fault. I didn't ask for your shit, I never wanted yor shit. Fuck you! Fuck all of you!
 

300 pages of "Comment Deleted", and I'm only up through the August, 2008. Dude is one dedicated baghunter. Gets a bit repetitive though.
 

...cool, I look forward to the new look, and I know some of you guys will archive the insanity that has been this phenomenon and thank you in advance...also I too wonder if I can register my name in advance...because 'Pat McCrotch of the Buttknuckle Clan' is probably already taken.
 

How about this for Blog backup:
http://googlesystem.blogspot.com/2007/02/how-to-backup-blogger-blog.html

I lurk, enjoy, laugh, fwap to ass pear and comment when I have something to add....and set up an id on the 2.0 version.
 

RE: Conflicting Edits

Now THAT ^ is comedy, folks.

And THIS is the greatest Danica Patrick photo page ever.
 

F*ck you Conflicting Edits! I want my chapters back!

Except for "Up to Her neck in Muddusa".

That one creeped even me out.
 

@ Conlficting Edits

Jeebus. I forgot about the exact wording in some of that stuff. In retrospect, hearing anyone describe plowing me in the ass like that is pretty creepy. I prefer you just do it, don't make eye contact, and then we don't talk about it the next day. Just sayin'.

Scrotato, I'm having trouble looking YOU in the eye now....

Back off or I'll VAG-BLAM you!

LOLICOPTURDZ!
 

@ DB1

....are you SURE you want to give us the power to post photos? I'm seeing many, many potential problems there.


Or are you just trying to free up more drinking time? 'Cause I'm not gonna get mad about that.
 

....other than that, what the FUCK is up with the text accompanying this photo?
 

Praise be to Troy for saving the Douche Sea Scrolls of Samurai Scrote.

DarkSock is trapped like a beaver in the hellish white frozen waste that is Washington DC. FUCK YOU DELTA AIRLINES; they cancelled my flight out BEFORE the fuccen storm; pavement here's still bone-dry...they supposedly have me getting back to the Gulf Coast 1 hour before Superbowl kickoff. I'll be holding my breath. And by "breath" I mean "junk".

Speaking of holding one's junk while in Mississippi here's a Tiger Woods update. WTF_kopterz...
 

Conflicting Edits forced me to fellate his undulating uncircumsized man meat until I puked-up my Spaghetti-O's onto his carpet that was stained with cheap burboun.

Now four years later, at the age of thirteen, I slit my inner thighs with rough figurines of Optimus Prime to dull the memmory.

I hate you Dar... Conflicting Edits, you ruined my impressionable young life.
 

HCWDB 2.0!? I think I just jizzed my pants.
 

^ Not cool, now I just jizzed MY pants.
 

Troy, any way you could stash the Sam Scrote tome on YouSendIt or some similar internet stash and make us cats hep to the download pw/username?
 

For the children, of course.
 

@SSS

Sorry about that.
 

I pooped in SSS's pants once. True story.
 

It happened during a game of scat hockey.
 

@Conflicting Edits:

I laughed my ass off while rolling on the floor 'batin COPTRZ!!!!11!!

PSALTY FUCCEN TEEERS# FUE.
 

Damnit 'Sock, you fuccen promised that you'd never mention that. If I had emotions, then that would really have hurt my feelings.

Luckily, I'm too drunk to feel anything...




Except Ms. Lefty. Ooo, you're a naughty girl aren't you? Yeah, make me pay for my sins with jizz.


It's like a stranger, but instead of sitting on your hand until it goes numb, you just drink until you forget that the hand belongs to you. Different methods, same results...



Which is jizz. As previously stated.
 

Can't wait.
 

You making eyes at my girl Sergeant Scrote? You better hope you ain't, lest you be itchin' fer an ass whoopin'!!!!

Dicy my girl, just lemme know if'n any other of these pervs start givin' you the bumpin' ugly look. I'll whoop 'em so bad their great-grannies will miscarriage. Cuz you my sweet little thang, 'n I love you like a sister.
 

Conflicting Edits:
For making me laugh, may you
suckle large boobies!
 

I fear change.

FEAR IT, I SAY!!!
 

@JD

I guess I should tell you SS stole my left hand once and kept it for nearly five mins. I have no idea what he was doing with it but when he returned it to me it was sticky and scared. It's never fully recovered...
 

Too all:

The Samurai Scrote PDF

Don't say I never guv ya nuthin.
 

Taking things to the next level, huh? Wow, we're really growing together emotionally!

Though, I think we should start talking about "things." Like, do we want li'l 'baghunters? And if so, how many.. and how soon? And who's gonna stay home to raise them? DB1, I we love you but we need to know where things are going...
 

PS. That had better not be my darling sweetheart Carli Banks hanging out with DJ Thomas. If so, I'm gonna end it all right now with a rusty spork, I swear...
 

^^ I we = we

Friday morning fail. Me want Haiku and ass pear.
 

db1, if you need or could use any help with this, let me know. I gots mad web/net/server/coding/database skillz. And it'd be a shame to lose the comments.
 

Arm like a hot dog, dick like a tic-tac.
 

@Crucial Head and Wheezer^

I wish I could say the same thing about the shitty treacle of yours I end up with every day.

Don't patronize me!



But thanks anyways.
 

I read the SS thread for the first time just now.

Epic.

Just epic.
 

was reading the fine print on the douche's page. he calls it a dental damn.
 

@Dark Sock-

the link location is to Mediafire:

http://www.mediafire.com/file/nhnelmalgjg/SamuraiScrote-10457comments.pdf

wide open. go for it.
 

That whole, upload our own pics thing, might not be a good idea. I can see a lot of ways that that could end up in tears.
 

@Troy Tempest Thanks for the PDF
 

@Troy Tempest

Thanks for the leg work on Samurai Scrote. Someday in the not too distant future Denzel Washington will be found wandering the wasteland with a copy of it tucked under his filth covered arm.

And DarkSock will be right behind him, pen in hand, pleading,

"Wait, Just one more. This one is f*cking funny. F'real. Dude, come on! Stop for just a second, God this hood is f*cking hot. Are you dizzy? I'm getting dizzy."
 

You are all quite welcome.

I'll leave it up until the new site comes around, so DL it while you can.
 

Bravo, good chap. Let's keep those bucketheaded dillywaggers on their toes, neh?
 

Bravo, good chap. Let's keep those bucketheaded dillywaggers on their toes, neh?
 

@ TT

Bravo. Bra-fuccen-vo.

Now do the other half of the site, please.
 

If the Samurai Scrote thread does not carry over boss, you should be scared, very scared
 

@ Troy

you sir are my hero.... I love you

however, I find the bathroom book/bible idea attractive. how'bout a forward by Crucial Head or BCS... I'm kinda one liner guy myself
 

Tech now tells me there's a good chance all threads will be preserved, but you never know when blogger.com is involved.

- management
 

@ Troy--I move to have a statue in your likeness erected in the city park.



I said "erected". BWAAAHAHAHAA!!!

RE: Baron Von Goolo 3:22 am:
Way to go, guys, now you got the Baron all freaked out. Come on, let's go track him down and bring him back. and can we leave the pitchforks and torches at home this time? I'll be damned if I'm gonna reimburse another pissed off farmer for his windmill this month.
 

thanks for the update DB1.
 

"It's about time we take HCwDB to the next level."

Please DB1, and all others, don't use or paraphrase the tired celebrity-drivel phrase "take it to the next level". This phrase is what bimbette starlets use when they are going to transition from bad acting to bad singing, or vice-versa, and its the catch-phrase of tedious celebrity journalism and flackery. Don't believe me? Here are some examples:

MILEY AND JUSTIN TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL AT THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS SHOW
Jake is trying to win back Reese . . . she wasn’t ready to take it to the next level
Lilo and Sam Take it To ‘The Next Level’
Spooky, Scary MK Olsen! . . No matter how weird her outfits get, she can still find a way to take it to the next level

So, by all means improve, better, progress, revamp, revise, sharpen, update, and other synonyms, but don't 'take it to the next level'.
 

Troy, you are an officer and a gentlepuppet. Thankee kind sirrah; Huzzah!
 

I really don't think having the ability for anyone to upload pics is a good idea. I think all pics need to be pre-approved by DB1 as they are right now. We will have an exponential increase in people that are clearly not douches and will ruin the good name of this site.
 

@Anonymous, the mainpage will still just be written by me, I'm trying to create a second section like "Hot or Not" where people can upload and vote on pics, which will have scores. Still not sure, though.
- management