Monday, February 08, 2010
HCwDB of the Week
Congrats to the New Orleans Saints and all that. But we got work to do people. There are schroads licking perfectly tasty hottness as we speak. They must be mocked. And by mocked, I mean categorized. And then mocked. Here's your finalists:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The Quizzical Hemorrhoid and Princess Lickmah
The Q.H. is one of those rare partybags. The type who amazingly manages to make the same stupid douche-face in every pic.
Even when popping a squat or makin' the party pile.
His greased up Eurotaint is garbagian in its poocrappery.
Yeah, I said both "garbagian" and "poocrappery" in the same sentence.
Up yours, Merriam and Webster.
Mmmm... Euro hottness....
Princess Suckle Thigh is quality Italian-French hybridity. I blame her for the 100 years war. In my pants.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Double Flush, aka Fists of Poo
About time we get some classic Vegas douche-poo back up on the site.
Here we have two extremely sweet, high quality, hot chicks.
They're smiling.
They desire the DB1 to gnaw on their ankles.
And for that, I would buy them each a car.
And then we have two Vegas "Fists of Poo." Tatted up, greased up, large watch and sunglasses wearing crappogians.
But what takes this pic to Weekly status?
The Sideburns Money Clip (tm). As seen on TV.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Yellow Lips and Sophomore Karen
At first, these two may seem unlikely HCwDB of the Week contestants.
Look again.
They may not be over the top hottie/douchey spectacle. But for real world Frat assholitry, Yellow Lips earns his slot in the Weekly.
Note Y.L.'s shirt print, nuclear sunglasses, chest reveal and masterful Kissy Lips.
Top it off with some crappy Busch beer, and this is a Frat party poor Sophomore Karen will be in therapy for years trying to forget.
And Sophomore Karen more than holds up her end of the real-world sexy sultry, hottness. With barely any makeup on, she's already quality sweets.
I would gnash angrily on her childhood teddy bear, "Boo," with my teeth until she called campus security and had me escorted off the premises.
(Dis)honorable mention to Slick James, Sticks McHead, Mopey the Beanstalk, the weirdness of Alice in Choaderland and the uber-hottness of Sun Sandra (see you at the Douchies, my dear) and The 'Bag Face.
But three couplings may enter. Only one may (de-)ascend. Which?
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The Quizzical Hemorrhoid and Princess Lickmah
The Q.H. is one of those rare partybags. The type who amazingly manages to make the same stupid douche-face in every pic.
Even when popping a squat or makin' the party pile.
His greased up Eurotaint is garbagian in its poocrappery.
Yeah, I said both "garbagian" and "poocrappery" in the same sentence.
Up yours, Merriam and Webster.
Mmmm... Euro hottness....
Princess Suckle Thigh is quality Italian-French hybridity. I blame her for the 100 years war. In my pants.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Double Flush, aka Fists of Poo
About time we get some classic Vegas douche-poo back up on the site.
Here we have two extremely sweet, high quality, hot chicks.
They're smiling.
They desire the DB1 to gnaw on their ankles.
And for that, I would buy them each a car.
And then we have two Vegas "Fists of Poo." Tatted up, greased up, large watch and sunglasses wearing crappogians.
But what takes this pic to Weekly status?
The Sideburns Money Clip (tm). As seen on TV.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Yellow Lips and Sophomore Karen
At first, these two may seem unlikely HCwDB of the Week contestants.
Look again.
They may not be over the top hottie/douchey spectacle. But for real world Frat assholitry, Yellow Lips earns his slot in the Weekly.
Note Y.L.'s shirt print, nuclear sunglasses, chest reveal and masterful Kissy Lips.
Top it off with some crappy Busch beer, and this is a Frat party poor Sophomore Karen will be in therapy for years trying to forget.
And Sophomore Karen more than holds up her end of the real-world sexy sultry, hottness. With barely any makeup on, she's already quality sweets.
I would gnash angrily on her childhood teddy bear, "Boo," with my teeth until she called campus security and had me escorted off the premises.
(Dis)honorable mention to Slick James, Sticks McHead, Mopey the Beanstalk, the weirdness of Alice in Choaderland and the uber-hottness of Sun Sandra (see you at the Douchies, my dear) and The 'Bag Face.
But three couplings may enter. Only one may (de-)ascend. Which?
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Comments:
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I want to go with QH just because that face is so douchey. And he shouldnt be allowed to touch lovely girls like Princess Lickmah...
But when confronted with the horrible tattoos on Money Clip Vegas Fist and Bleeth on the left I have to say Fists of Poo FTW.
Also, girl on right makes me question my sexuality. Again.
But when confronted with the horrible tattoos on Money Clip Vegas Fist and Bleeth on the left I have to say Fists of Poo FTW.
Also, girl on right makes me question my sexuality. Again.
Even though fists of poo is horrendous, My vote is with, and always will be QH. QH is enough to make my blood boil, then I look at Princess Lickmah and my blood freezes. She is stop dead in your tracks insta-boner hott. She is my princess, and eventually will be my queen.
# posted by 
: 7:19 AM
: 7:19 AM
Fists of Poo makes me weep for society more than the rest. Fists of Poo for the W. Or L.
- 'Bagamemnon
- 'Bagamemnon
# posted by : 7:20 AM
: 7:20 AM
I feel like Hemorrhoid is going to take this Weekly the way Matt Stafford took my virginity.
Nonetheless, those powerful fists of poo get my vote. That dude on the right carries this pic. Your timepiece in the pool, your stupid sleeve tattoo, your Jedward haircut, and of course the $20 pinned beneath your sunglasses. May Andrew Jackson awaken from the dead to punch the ugly off you.
Nonetheless, those powerful fists of poo get my vote. That dude on the right carries this pic. Your timepiece in the pool, your stupid sleeve tattoo, your Jedward haircut, and of course the $20 pinned beneath your sunglasses. May Andrew Jackson awaken from the dead to punch the ugly off you.
# posted by : 7:22 AM
: 7:22 AM
QH has the smokin' hot hott who pitched insta-tents all week, but the Fists take it by weight if not by volume of poo. EtH pretty much summed it up.
However, I'd still like to lure Karen to a faraway land.
Poo for the win.
However, I'd still like to lure Karen to a faraway land.
Poo for the win.
Quizzical. No question. His Eurobagginess is accentuated by his disdain for ice cubes, hot water and quality toilet paper.
I can't wait for Stack to crush him and his shitbucket brother/cousin/rentboy we've seen in his other pics.
I can't wait for Stack to crush him and his shitbucket brother/cousin/rentboy we've seen in his other pics.
I don't want to touch anything near the pool in the Fists of Poo, including the girls, so they're DQ'd. No rage.
Quizzical Hemorrhoid takes it. He clearly practiced that face in the mirror to achieve that consistency. He PRACTICED, people.
I would allow myself to be sealed inside a large, wooden horse with a drunken Crucial Head and Darksock for hours while waiting for nightfall, just for the chance to step in the stinking crap Princess Lickmah's servant's horse left behind a few days previous, before being run through with a polearm.
Quizzical Hemorrhoid takes it. He clearly practiced that face in the mirror to achieve that consistency. He PRACTICED, people.
I would allow myself to be sealed inside a large, wooden horse with a drunken Crucial Head and Darksock for hours while waiting for nightfall, just for the chance to step in the stinking crap Princess Lickmah's servant's horse left behind a few days previous, before being run through with a polearm.
I see that the Fists are getting some votes, and their hott are certainly hot, but they also look like suburbanites who are douching it up for their spring vacation; part-timers, in other words. The QH, on the other hand, seems to have completely internalized his doucheness, right to the core of his being. I mean, he shaves his armpits, for Geebus's sake, but he's probably not gay. THAT is truly douche.
hmmm.
hungover.
in fact. still drunk even.
always nice to float into work not actually remembering the final score of the Super Bowl. At least I remembered who won this time. But the mock must go on, so here i is.
The Quizz is just too gay. In fact, I'm slightly jealous that his job apparently consists of dolling up the Hotts for runway shows. Stupid Quizz- what a douche.
Unfortunately, Karen is a bit too "meh" for me- neither sexy nor sultry enough.
So it's gotta be the Flush. So Rank. So Foul. Could someone please pass me a plunger?
Plus, as I was in my hotel room last week, thought I'd try to catch some ISRGOWH and tuned into MTV only to catch some show that made me feel awkward for having wicked thoughts about some high school girl that has her own show. Anyway, that girl looks like Hottie on the left here. That goofy toothy grin is all sorts of sexy.
The Flush wins (loses) with extra mention to the gleaning white forehead on cash money douche.
hungover.
in fact. still drunk even.
always nice to float into work not actually remembering the final score of the Super Bowl. At least I remembered who won this time. But the mock must go on, so here i is.
The Quizz is just too gay. In fact, I'm slightly jealous that his job apparently consists of dolling up the Hotts for runway shows. Stupid Quizz- what a douche.
Unfortunately, Karen is a bit too "meh" for me- neither sexy nor sultry enough.
So it's gotta be the Flush. So Rank. So Foul. Could someone please pass me a plunger?
Plus, as I was in my hotel room last week, thought I'd try to catch some ISRGOWH and tuned into MTV only to catch some show that made me feel awkward for having wicked thoughts about some high school girl that has her own show. Anyway, that girl looks like Hottie on the left here. That goofy toothy grin is all sorts of sexy.
The Flush wins (loses) with extra mention to the gleaning white forehead on cash money douche.
Ima give QH the nod this week. He has all the douche signifiers, but they've been tweaked for Europeal.
The Ed Hardy shirt is replaced by a quasi-Hardy design with the scooped front showing off his bizarre, hairless, burn-victim chest. The dog tags are replaced with some sort of double-pendant thing. The huge watch/wristdana is now some sort of beaded gypsy wristdana thing. The blowout is replaced with a Europoof. The hott is replaced with a hott I'd give free English lessons to in exchange for sharing the double-bed in my studio apartment.
The Ed Hardy shirt is replaced by a quasi-Hardy design with the scooped front showing off his bizarre, hairless, burn-victim chest. The dog tags are replaced with some sort of double-pendant thing. The huge watch/wristdana is now some sort of beaded gypsy wristdana thing. The blowout is replaced with a Europoof. The hott is replaced with a hott I'd give free English lessons to in exchange for sharing the double-bed in my studio apartment.
# posted by : 8:10 AM
: 8:10 AM
Fists of Poo, no question. The one on the right is just all right, but Stacy Hott is hot enough to make me overlook my rule about girls with tats.
And who the fuck wears a watch in a pool?
And who the fuck wears a watch in a pool?
# posted by : 8:11 AM
: 8:11 AM
Stackhouse FTW!!!! Sorry, force of habit.
Not even a nod yet to Yellow Lips. So here's your nod....you suck. You are not in the same douche zip code. Need to step up your game to compete in the big leagues.
Momentarily tempted to throw some support to Fists of Poo. Some credit to cash-boy with the stunningly stupid hair, but he alone cannot carry the day. And the girls are....yawn, where was I?
On yeah, Hemmoroid FTW. He has that "je ne sais quoi" that distinguishes all larger-than-life douchbags, that belief that they are God's gift to humanity in general, and tasty hotts in particular. And all that shit on his wrist is so stupid.
Princess Lickmah is miles and miles of smooth, delicious skin. Close inspection also indicates some ample boobies as well. What sublime rainy day memories we could make, given a few hours, some chocolate syrup and a banjo.
Not even a nod yet to Yellow Lips. So here's your nod....you suck. You are not in the same douche zip code. Need to step up your game to compete in the big leagues.
Momentarily tempted to throw some support to Fists of Poo. Some credit to cash-boy with the stunningly stupid hair, but he alone cannot carry the day. And the girls are....yawn, where was I?
On yeah, Hemmoroid FTW. He has that "je ne sais quoi" that distinguishes all larger-than-life douchbags, that belief that they are God's gift to humanity in general, and tasty hotts in particular. And all that shit on his wrist is so stupid.
Princess Lickmah is miles and miles of smooth, delicious skin. Close inspection also indicates some ample boobies as well. What sublime rainy day memories we could make, given a few hours, some chocolate syrup and a banjo.
# posted by : 8:31 AM
: 8:31 AM
QH is an easy weekly. That his entire wardrobe consists of tanktops should be a clue that he deserves it. The hipster bling is present. What is it that really puts him over the top? Ace Ventura Hair. His drinking-beer-through a-purple-straw hott is also the best of the bunch this week. He's tanned, greasy and making a stupid kissy face. For this, QH FTW.
The Double Flush FTW. I find them extra douche despite the lack of extra douchal signifiers that others such as QH displays. I can just imagine how douchey they would be with these extras and it easily puts them above QH in every way if they had them...
# posted by : 8:37 AM
: 8:37 AM
Double flush ftw, as not even a triple Lindy flush of epic proportions could get that crap down the drain. They fill me with ire.
Yellow Lips would be a contender, but for the lack of hott. He is truly punch worthy, and I would love to see him on the receiving end of a bat, baseball that is.
Quizman and that sour pus face is atrocious as well, but I'm calling gaybag. Just look at those damned bracelets for chrissakes.
Yellow Lips would be a contender, but for the lack of hott. He is truly punch worthy, and I would love to see him on the receiving end of a bat, baseball that is.
Quizman and that sour pus face is atrocious as well, but I'm calling gaybag. Just look at those damned bracelets for chrissakes.
Quiz Roid. 'Cause he's too sexy for your party. Too sexy for Milan, New York and Japan.
Fuccen Deeewwwccchhhebag.
Fuccen Deeewwwccchhhebag.
Q.H. FTW
There is no link to him in the Friday Thoughts and Links pic, but there he is, looking vaguely of Christian Bale yet wearing a tank top depicting the Joker. What a douche.
There is no link to him in the Friday Thoughts and Links pic, but there he is, looking vaguely of Christian Bale yet wearing a tank top depicting the Joker. What a douche.
Also, I'm guessing Q.H.'s little brother is over his right shoulder in the Friday Thoughts and Links pic. There is a familial resemblance, for sure.
Fists or QH? Could be the most difficult choice yet on HCWDB. Fists are empty the pool for sanitation purposes gross but QH...he needs to be punched in the face, hard, right now.
QH for the win
QH for the win
# posted by : 8:50 AM
: 8:50 AM
The Quizzical Hemorrhoid and Princess Lickmah FTW!
She's hott and he's punchworthy.
She's hott and he's punchworthy.
# posted by : 8:55 AM
: 8:55 AM
Quizzy is douche to his core, and Lickmah is equally as hott.
Yellow Lips is really rocking the choad kissy lips hard, but frankly neither of them is up to Quizzy and Lickmah standards.
But the cake is taken by Fists of Poo. Douche on the left isn't satisfied with a fauxhawk, he went for the real deal. Douche on the right, well, there's just so much wrong with that it makes me weep. Their hotts, though not as hot as Lickmah, are high quality. Overall, Fists makes me gag the most.
Fist of Poo FTW.
Yellow Lips is really rocking the choad kissy lips hard, but frankly neither of them is up to Quizzy and Lickmah standards.
But the cake is taken by Fists of Poo. Douche on the left isn't satisfied with a fauxhawk, he went for the real deal. Douche on the right, well, there's just so much wrong with that it makes me weep. Their hotts, though not as hot as Lickmah, are high quality. Overall, Fists makes me gag the most.
Fist of Poo FTW.
Quizroid by a mile, the smugness of this tanned tadpole could have been excused as a drunken one off but the plethora of evidence against him cannot be denied,FQR!
# posted by : 9:05 AM
: 9:05 AM
Have to go with QH. The Fisted Hotts are to gone into the world of Bleeth to even really be that hot anymore, and Karen is...well...Karen.
No, Princess Lickmah is the only Hott whose hottness beckons to be saved from the goiterous dangle of scrotery touching her in places I dream about on trans-Atlantic flights.
This is Hot Chicks with Douchebags, afterall.
No, Princess Lickmah is the only Hott whose hottness beckons to be saved from the goiterous dangle of scrotery touching her in places I dream about on trans-Atlantic flights.
This is Hot Chicks with Douchebags, afterall.
# posted by : 9:06 AM
: 9:06 AM
Q.H. FTW. Because his lips are so anus-like that I fear that his tongue is a turd.
# posted by : 9:13 AM
: 9:13 AM
Fists of Poo FTW--and I'm basing this vote just on the (de)merits of the 'bag on the right and the money he tucked between the oversized shades and the whitewalled, Static-X poophawk he's sportin'. Add in his mirrored-gaze spiritual brother over there and you've got a winner of epic proportions.
And by "winner" I mean "pile of pillock."
And by "winner" I mean "pile of pillock."
Q.H. as he kicks kittens and punches puppies in addition to looking like a complete ass with his pucker lips. Princess Lickmah is smokin and should be carried my fortress of solitude...
Being European meself and thus having seen in its fullblownness the immense douchery that is currently ongoing on my side of the pond, I must go for The Q.H; if for nothing else then at least for the safety of the princess. She is ohsomuch in danger of being completely smothered with 'bag and I will never forgive myself should any harm come to her.
The pool girls may very well be lost causes and the sweetness that is Karen is obviously holding her own. But the princess! Won't somebody PLEASE think of the princess?
The pool girls may very well be lost causes and the sweetness that is Karen is obviously holding her own. But the princess! Won't somebody PLEASE think of the princess?
# posted by : 9:22 AM
: 9:22 AM
The Quizzical Hemorrhoid
By winning the weekly, it increases the possibility of us one day hearing: "Help me db1, you're my only hope." Uttered in an endless loop by Lickmah's hologram.
My only request is that I can be your wookie friend and gently nuzzle and purr against Princess Lickmah's discarded stilletos.
By winning the weekly, it increases the possibility of us one day hearing: "Help me db1, you're my only hope." Uttered in an endless loop by Lickmah's hologram.
My only request is that I can be your wookie friend and gently nuzzle and purr against Princess Lickmah's discarded stilletos.
Using the Socratic Method, that is, asking oneself the question: "given the opportunity, which one of these would you run over first?" Hands down it would be QH. However, if I hadn't wrecked the front end of the Nova hopping up the curb to plow down the 'roid, I'd roll over the Fists and Yellowlips, in that order.
# posted by : 9:39 AM
: 9:39 AM
For displaying all of the warmth and emotional depth of a cigar store Indian in multiple pictures, it has to be Q.H. FTW.
When I see Quizzical holding the sweet suckle thigh, and the Princess drinking beer through a straw....I wept for the species...
...for never has there been a tale of more scrote, than this of Princess Lickmah and her Hemorrhoidial choad.
The Q.H. FTW.
...for never has there been a tale of more scrote, than this of Princess Lickmah and her Hemorrhoidial choad.
The Q.H. FTW.
Gotta go with QH. I hate his face. Hate it. I can't even think. His face blocks all other thought than "I need to punch that douche in the face repeatedly."
And hold your camera staight asshole.
Christ.
And hold your camera staight asshole.
Christ.
QH FTW. I hope Lickmah is not in the process of jumping into his arms. If he had to hold all 95 pounds of her lusciousness, his stick arms would snap like dry kindling.
# posted by : 10:22 AM
: 10:22 AM
QuizHem gets the vote. The face and the physique are pure douche with a unique enough twist to set him apart from the other no-doubt douchey, but ultimately unremarkable/non-descript competitors.
And Princess Lickmah is bleeth-a-licious.
And Princess Lickmah is bleeth-a-licious.
Every time I see that picture, Olivia Newton John starts singing "Xanadu" in my head. That's enough to make me want to skullrape the TeleTubbies; it's more than enough to give Quiz Roid the Weekly.
Gotta go with the Quizz on this one. While a certain Vegas pool will no doubt have an oily rainbow sheen for some time, QH is grade 'A' douche on the hoof. And by grade A I men tending to cause projectile vomiting even among statues.
# posted by : 10:34 AM
: 10:34 AM
Normally, I try not to vote for volume of work and instead focus on the simple evidence before us in one shot. But, the sheer scrotery of QH cannot be denied even in one photograph. When compounded by a scrote-folio of similar works, he becomes a supernova of douche.
There is far, far too much work invested here. The hair, the body shave, the tan, and, most of all, the face. Indeed, there were hours of "mirror time" behind this look. Clearly practice makes perfect and by perfect I mean poo. QH FTW and by that I mean Full-Tilt Wanker.
Princess Lickmah is smokin', but was probably more so before the nose job. I'd still slay the dragon just to lovingly caress the handle of the toilet she flushes.
There is far, far too much work invested here. The hair, the body shave, the tan, and, most of all, the face. Indeed, there were hours of "mirror time" behind this look. Clearly practice makes perfect and by perfect I mean poo. QH FTW and by that I mean Full-Tilt Wanker.
Princess Lickmah is smokin', but was probably more so before the nose job. I'd still slay the dragon just to lovingly caress the handle of the toilet she flushes.
QH FTW! Why? I can't even satisfy my rage by punting kittens into a oscillating fan after looking at him. Clubbing baby seals loses its appeal upon seeing that visage. Nothing, nothing can cheer me up after looking at this.
QH's ability to replicate the same stupid look for every picture makes me suspect he's actually a taxidermy experiment gone horribly awry, disqualifying him from the weekly. If it can be proven that he is actually animated and not a reject Gunther von Hagens exhibit, The Quizzical Hermorroid FTW.
All three are horrible, but it's only the Quizz-man(?) who's giving me flashbacks to what I was doing Friday night: Puking into some stranger's kitchen sink after a quarter round of Captain Morgan Pong.
The Quizzical Hemmorrhoid and Princess Lickmah FTL.
The Quizzical Hemmorrhoid and Princess Lickmah FTL.
ETH @ 7:22 FTW of this thread.
I see you, JCVD, snork. O my love, Lickmah! Douche, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath
Hath had no power yet upon suckle thigh."
I see you, JCVD, snork. O my love, Lickmah! Douche, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath
Hath had no power yet upon suckle thigh."
Quizzical Hemorrhoid by a (well greased) hair over the Double Flush. While the double d-bag attack is fierce, their hotts simply can't compete with Princess Lickmah. She is something even the most sex-starved Disney animator couldn't conjure with ink and celluloid. While he on the other hand is an amalgamation every guy in Italy that a Bryn Mawr student slept with while studying abroad and wants to forget about.
# posted by : 11:19 AM
: 11:19 AM
QH, because that picture is a glimpse into a chilling alternate reality where Dance Fever was never cancelled and Deney Terrio went on to join Sonny Bono, Fred Grandy (the Love Boat's Gopher), Fred Thompson, Al Franken, Jesse Ventura and Ronald Reagan as B-listers who went on to govern the world's most powerful nation. What a crazy world THAT would be to live in.
*shudder*
*shudder*
Congats to the Saints. They stole that Super Bowl trophy fair and square. As for the HCwDB of the week, Casa La Douche votes for "The Quizzical Hemorrhoid and Princess Lickmah". We are also taking donations for the Save the Princess fund.
'Roid and the Princess. While all of the male contestants are equally chodious, Princess Lickmah has that come-hither look and nice suckle-thigh.
# posted by : 11:48 AM
: 11:48 AM
Dylan McDermott + Maroon 5 d'bag Adam Levine x Majorcan holidays with a 1969 Ali McGraw hawt = Quizzi H.
I don't think the Quadratic for this provides enough data for a QH win.
Wonderdouche Twins AKA The Double Twins AKA Fists of Poo have obviously activated their un-magincal douche powers and those powers are unmatched in douchetude.
FISTS OF POO, FTW
I don't think the Quadratic for this provides enough data for a QH win.
Wonderdouche Twins AKA The Double Twins AKA Fists of Poo have obviously activated their un-magincal douche powers and those powers are unmatched in douchetude.
FISTS OF POO, FTW
# posted by : 12:04 PM
: 12:04 PM
Fists of Poo FTW!!!
Hand tattoos show that worrying about future employment is for pussies. Especially when you got "mad stacks" next to your head.
Hand tattoos show that worrying about future employment is for pussies. Especially when you got "mad stacks" next to your head.
# posted by : 12:29 PM
: 12:29 PM
yellow douche doesn't stand a chance, but i'm torn between quiz and double flush, il have to go for double simply because of left hot. And right flush is the guy from papa roach.
# posted by : 12:36 PM
: 12:36 PM
The Quizzical Hemorrhoid FTW. There is something to be said for keeping up consistent douchosity in all settings.
# posted by : 12:40 PM
: 12:40 PM
I vote Yellowlips - half of him is shrouded in shadow so I think he would have more to offer had we seen his full package, the lips were nearly enough by themselves.
Double Fluss take note. Stealing beer from the Piggly Wiggly doesn't make you Sydney Poitier and Tony Curtis anymore than shouting "Two for Flinching" and punching each other in the nads makes you Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Black/white buddy team ups were thread bare and tedious before the two of you were huffing paint behind the hardware store at the ripe old age of seven.
In Hollywood the buddies overcome great adversity before inevitably realizing they're more alike than they are different. In Vegas, you'll realize at check-in that you maxed out your credit cards before you even left Apple Valley, CA and it probably wasn't a good idea to share the razor you use to shave your junk.
Fist of Poo FTW because 48 hours Later your employee files at Chuck-O-Rama will read "Job Abandonment", the hotel HAZMAT team will have drained that pool for the second time in so many days, the bleeth will be joylessly scratching their crab-addled cooters, and you'll each have "Fiht or Die" tatts on your dumbass chicken necks.
And yeah, you'll spell it f..i..h..t.
In Hollywood the buddies overcome great adversity before inevitably realizing they're more alike than they are different. In Vegas, you'll realize at check-in that you maxed out your credit cards before you even left Apple Valley, CA and it probably wasn't a good idea to share the razor you use to shave your junk.
Fist of Poo FTW because 48 hours Later your employee files at Chuck-O-Rama will read "Job Abandonment", the hotel HAZMAT team will have drained that pool for the second time in so many days, the bleeth will be joylessly scratching their crab-addled cooters, and you'll each have "Fiht or Die" tatts on your dumbass chicken necks.
And yeah, you'll spell it f..i..h..t.
The Quizzical Hemi is clearly best friends with the hots he is pictured with, but gaybaggery needs to be mocked and does not get a pass. And Princess Lickmah is why I read this site. QH for the weekly!
Dr. DB
Dr. DB
ftw? #1 Roid. Quelle horreur!
Grab hold of your Freedom Fries, folks... Cuz ' this hauntingly quizzical diarrhea inducing stone-faced eurobag is far too viscous in his scrottoric consistency to be stopped now. We can now only but hope that Princess Lichtmann is not already lost to the cruel temptations of Bleethdom...
Grab hold of your Freedom Fries, folks... Cuz ' this hauntingly quizzical diarrhea inducing stone-faced eurobag is far too viscous in his scrottoric consistency to be stopped now. We can now only but hope that Princess Lichtmann is not already lost to the cruel temptations of Bleethdom...
It's gotta be QH. He looks like the long lost love child of Fonzy and Racer X. And Lickmah aquivereth my loins.
Gotta go with Fists of Poo FTW. This week, I'm taking an opposing view to that of Medusa's; namely, I can only deal with the photos before me, because looking at all of QH's pix at once is enough to make me want to blind myself with a mixture of cat piss and Chloraseptic.
So: F. of P. Because none of them is as choadtastic as all of them. And by all of them, I mean Sideburns Money Clip (tm) and his Maryland state flag clavicle tatt.
So: F. of P. Because none of them is as choadtastic as all of them. And by all of them, I mean Sideburns Money Clip (tm) and his Maryland state flag clavicle tatt.
# posted by : 2:54 PM
: 2:54 PM
A tough call between the Fists and the QH, but the Fists' hotts are beyond redemption while Lickmah looks like she still may be saved.
QH FTW
QH FTW
QH and Princess Likmah. For a chance to enter Lickmah's royal tent I.would bring her gifts of Frankincense and Myrth. And by frankinsense nd myrth, I mean my cock and balls.
QH is by far the douchiest of the lot. He constantly looks like he has a mouth of something foul he needs to spit out but can't find a spot hidden enough to chance getting caught.
# posted by : 5:11 PM
: 5:11 PM
YL makes my gaydar ping like an Owl City song. No win for him.
The Fist of Poo on the right is pootastic, but for some reason I want to give a pass to the brothabag.
QH FTW. He mugs himself in the mirror for far too long, and flips his hair up with a god damn curling iron.
P.S. My VPN beat your filters today, Hu. Stick that in your commie pipe and smoke it.
The Fist of Poo on the right is pootastic, but for some reason I want to give a pass to the brothabag.
QH FTW. He mugs himself in the mirror for far too long, and flips his hair up with a god damn curling iron.
P.S. My VPN beat your filters today, Hu. Stick that in your commie pipe and smoke it.
ImageWrangler@4:19, love the "Better Off Dead" reference.
This is a tough one this week. There is no standout like Shithouse. I'm gonna go with QH because he looks like golem.
This is a tough one this week. There is no standout like Shithouse. I'm gonna go with QH because he looks like golem.
# posted by : 5:45 PM
: 5:45 PM
All strong contenders to make me vomit coat hangers, but Yellow Lips gets my vote. Just by the mere notion that Coed Karen in the douche asshole of the world. Busch beer is fine, but Busch light?This room has all teh bag signifiers if inspected. URC-check. Frohawk-check. Unbuttoned shirt-check and sadly these are not the focal point. So again my vote fot Yellow Lips and the Lair of Douche.
# posted by : 6:06 PM
: 6:06 PM
Quizzical Hemorrhoid. After all, you've got to admire consistency, and he *is* consistent. Or is that constipated?
QUIZ ' ROID FTW He looks like a white California Raisin, without any of the soul, and his hott is greek-a-licious. Tikanis!
It takes 57 separate facial muscles to frown, 32 to smile, but only 1 ruptured sphincter to make The Quizzical Hemorrhoid, the new gold standard in global douche-face. QZFTW!
Quizzical, jizzacle, I cast my vote for the Hemorrhoid. I say we tuck him right back in where the sun don't shine.
Oh, and Lickmah. SHe is Quality Hott to counter his wife-beater-pouty douche.
A good match, DB1.
Oh, and Lickmah. SHe is Quality Hott to counter his wife-beater-pouty douche.
A good match, DB1.
It HAS to be Fists of Poo
They look like 'Kid and Play' got raped by Christian Audigier
They look like 'Kid and Play' got raped by Christian Audigier
# posted by : 9:41 PM
: 9:41 PM
QUIZ ROID FTW
the thing that really got me was the yellow shirt that said "HA HA HA" in the last Friday T&L. the Quiz Roid gets my vote just for wearing that shirt. laugh it up funny boy. the HCwDB weekly is no laughing matter.
okay maybe it is. but in an entirely unfunny way.
the thing that really got me was the yellow shirt that said "HA HA HA" in the last Friday T&L. the Quiz Roid gets my vote just for wearing that shirt. laugh it up funny boy. the HCwDB weekly is no laughing matter.
okay maybe it is. but in an entirely unfunny way.
Wait, isnt the QH the same guy as Faux Walken, the guy who explained that ge was at a Jersey Shore dress up party?
If not, QH for the win, all the way.
If not, QH for the win, all the way.
I was on the freeway today and there was about a six mile stretch where I'd yell "VAG-BLAM!!!" whenever I pulled some Transporter maneuver around some typical Oregonian seaslug goatherd driver.
Not that that has anything to do with the Weekly. I just wanted to share.
Not that that has anything to do with the Weekly. I just wanted to share.
Excrement 'bags all round this week DB1. I'm depressed.
Yellow Lips a.k.a Kissy-puss MUST BE PUNCHED!
A big LOL-out to the Vegas Flush combo. You guys suck crocodile ass.
Bleethy chicks? Maybe. Maybe. SB Money Clip = Most innovative douche manouvre of 2010? So far my friends!
Q.H seems to be a very realistic ballistics gel mould. His limbs can be moved as to create the illusion of life. Do not be fooled.
Q.H ftl.
Yellow Lips a.k.a Kissy-puss MUST BE PUNCHED!
A big LOL-out to the Vegas Flush combo. You guys suck crocodile ass.
Bleethy chicks? Maybe. Maybe. SB Money Clip = Most innovative douche manouvre of 2010? So far my friends!
Q.H seems to be a very realistic ballistics gel mould. His limbs can be moved as to create the illusion of life. Do not be fooled.
Q.H ftl.
You know, normally, DBUno chooses the proper nominees, and we, the hatters, have a real and fair opportunity to choose the winner of this dubious award. Unfortunately, from time to time, he gets it wrong. This is one such contest.
ALL MY VOTE GOES TO ALICE IN CHOADERLAND! GET SOME!
Seriously, I urge you to revisit Alice and her shamefully douchey co-posers. Alice is nibblelicious, and the two shirtless dudes are quite risible. But what really elevates Alice in Choaderland to clear weekly winner standards to me is the 88 year old leathery douchebag to the right without any teeth. It takes quite a commitment to douchebaggery to keep it up long after you qualify to take money out of your 401(k) without penalty. And for that oldbag especially, we should have had a real chance to send these toxic, toxic choads on to the monthly.
-Paul Muad'douche, the Kwisatz Scroterach
ALL MY VOTE GOES TO ALICE IN CHOADERLAND! GET SOME!
Seriously, I urge you to revisit Alice and her shamefully douchey co-posers. Alice is nibblelicious, and the two shirtless dudes are quite risible. But what really elevates Alice in Choaderland to clear weekly winner standards to me is the 88 year old leathery douchebag to the right without any teeth. It takes quite a commitment to douchebaggery to keep it up long after you qualify to take money out of your 401(k) without penalty. And for that oldbag especially, we should have had a real chance to send these toxic, toxic choads on to the monthly.
-Paul Muad'douche, the Kwisatz Scroterach
# posted by : 6:02 AM
: 6:02 AM
Remember the scene in "One Crazy Summer" (tried to find it on youtube but couldn't) when the little girl slaps the obnoxious kids on the back while they are making stupid faces, and their faces stick that way? I think that must have happened to QH, because it's the SAME FUCCEN STUPID DOUCHEBAG LOOK IN EVERY PIC! And for that he gets my vote.
-noobbag
-noobbag
# posted by : 6:28 AM
: 6:28 AM
Considering the whole package, hot chick & douchebag, I must go with Princess Lickmah/ Quiz-roid. Her steaminess alone trumps the other selections. One look and she has the keys to the Porsche. The bracelets on Quiz-roid is super-gay and if he was related I would have to eliminate him from the family gene pool via steam roller.
I must go the bathroom for batting practice.
I must go the bathroom for batting practice.
# posted by : 9:07 AM
: 9:07 AM
Hemorrhoid for the win, simply because he looks like he really, really, really believes in the vacuous, shallow party lifestyle as a legitimate pursuit worthy of respect.
# posted by : 9:57 AM
: 9:57 AM
hemorrhoid FTW. also, i think the girl on the right in fists of poo is a porn star, maybe nautica thorn?
# posted by : 9:58 AM
: 9:58 AM
Fists of Poo are amateurs. They are also a hotel waste can brimming with cum filled tissues as there is no way they pulled these two Hott Bleeths. I smell a paid to pose with porn stars at the Rio. I also think I got a wiff of their shit knuckles through my monitor
Quizz Roid FTW because all the regs said so and I'm a follower
Quizz Roid FTW because all the regs said so and I'm a follower
Quizzical Hemmorrhoid ftw.
Yellow lips is infuriating but his hott isn't hott at all.
The fists of poo have numbers on their side, but Lickmah looks... clean.
At least cleaner than those two bleeths.
And QH has a fairly big dossier of douchebaggery.
Yellow lips is infuriating but his hott isn't hott at all.
The fists of poo have numbers on their side, but Lickmah looks... clean.
At least cleaner than those two bleeths.
And QH has a fairly big dossier of douchebaggery.
# posted by : 12:07 PM
: 12:07 PM
Fists of Poo FTW - there are two of them, and they both look like live pinched loaves.
There are also two snuggly cutie pie hotts, but not even the Ty-D-Bol Man can repair his ballcock after witnessing this travesty.
There are also two snuggly cutie pie hotts, but not even the Ty-D-Bol Man can repair his ballcock after witnessing this travesty.
Fists of Poo.
Interesting dichotomy on display here. Brothabag is displaying few indicators: ridiculous hair; virtual reality sunglasses; fist pump.
Willy Wannabe on the right goes full bore: full sleeve (but only one on his back -- poser); ginormous watch; even more ridiculous hair than Brothabag; and he appears to be wearing his jeans in the pool. But the absolute clincher is the Sideburns Money Clip (tm). He belongs in a metal box he's such a tool.
The hotties are delectable but, unfortunately, contaminated.
Interesting dichotomy on display here. Brothabag is displaying few indicators: ridiculous hair; virtual reality sunglasses; fist pump.
Willy Wannabe on the right goes full bore: full sleeve (but only one on his back -- poser); ginormous watch; even more ridiculous hair than Brothabag; and he appears to be wearing his jeans in the pool. But the absolute clincher is the Sideburns Money Clip (tm). He belongs in a metal box he's such a tool.
The hotties are delectable but, unfortunately, contaminated.
It's a Quiz-Lick week for me- the fist brothers are marginal twits exuding pseudo-macho desperation and their unlucky ladies are relegated to second tier status because of the company they're keeping. Yello lips barely raises his twirpishness to entry lever slappability-
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