No. I DON'T want a moustache ride.

And if you're going to rock a 'stache like that, you need to be in a leopard-spotted singlet and lifting a giant barbell with big round weights that have 1,000 LBS painted on them in white letters.
 

Pass.
 

Erin Andrews Hott has the angelic stare of a princess at the ball.

And then Hipscroter had to mugg up on her and ruin it for me.
 

Wow, her Dad must have reeeeaaaaaalllllllyyyyyy pissed her off.
 

He looks like Anthony Kiedis fucked Criss Angel who then pulled out the shit laden cum load out of his arse and rammed up Mercedes Ruehl baby shoot who then aborted the fetus in the early stages of the third trimester but it lived and grew up to grow annoying facial hair and develop a taste for gaudy hats.


That's gotta be a New York scene there .... I need a Rolaids
 

Ayyyy...datsa spicy doucha-ball!
 

Dammit, DB1--how 'bout a little "heads up" before you drop these stinking logs on us? Sheesh! I smell pepperoni.

She might be April's younger sister, 'cause I just grew some wood that busted right through the YKK zipper on my khakis.
 

If i have my feudal nobility ranks correct, this would be Baronet Von Goolo, no?
 

Ewww.

This is the guy who smokes all of your grass, slobbers all over the joint and thinks deodorant is fascist.

She thinks he is an artist and refuses to be bound by societies' shackles.

I think that unless she is going to show off her cans they should both go chug some Drain-o.
 

So that's what the Apple guy did with his money from the commercials...bleh.
 

I will insult no man with such a magnificent stache. Brilliant.

I bid you good day sir.
 

GREAT moustache DB1!

But I question your choice in hats.


Either that, or Brandon Boyd's on some powerful mean happy pills while Incubus is on hiatus.
 

I got to speak with two Senators and two House Reps this morning here in DC. I advocated for a number of issues ranging from tax credits for energy efficient buildings to forcing banks to actually LEND all that free money they got, but the issue that got the most traction was my request that we call in an air strike on New Jersey. Now.

I'll keep you posted on this important legislation.

Especially if I get my ass snowbound...big storm's coming...
 

@ DS^^

Travel safe. DC may get the ice & "wintery mix," not so much snow.

If blondie showed me her cans, I'd give her a wintery mix.




God that was lame.
 

He used to pitch Macs.

Now with the new models coming out he's pitching Aye-aye-ayeePads.
 

More like crotch pads. Used ones. At least that's what the smell suggests...

I feel an undeniable urge to rescue tender unspoiled Mindy before the odor invades her delicate pores.
 

Best hatbrim ever.
 

Okay, I'm starting to seriously freak out here. My wife just got plane tickets for the two of us to Newark this June, so we can visit family of her's. And so what happens? I start seeing Jerz puds everywhere!

This is not good. This is not... good.
 

Vin Douchal FTW, that shit was hilarious.

His stache is a sign that the Douchepocalypse is closer than we thought. Her fawn-like gaze may temporarily, though certainly not permanently, distract from the fact that she gives lousy head.

Fuccem both and the horses their mothers rode in on.
 

And he's buttchinnian. WTF, she's cute. Really, honey? That's your best shot?

No soup for you.
 

I'm with SSS as usual.

I smell a bunch of 'stache haters. This isn't some 16 year old kid's pitiful attempt at a mustache like what I grow. It's impeccably groomed. Tip of the cap to you, Brendan.
 

Yanni...?


-noobbag
 

The moustache is the mark of unrelieved testosterone poisoning.
 

she's not hot, but he is a douche
 

@ End the Haberdouchery

Glad to have you back after the brief anon ban. You are a baghunter of the highest order.

Which means that you're probably an alcohlic. Birds of a feather drink together.

And I am insanely jealous of this man's mustache. Being unable to grow anything resembling a decent mustache myself, seeing a display of such silly yet well-developed facial hair burns my soul with envy.
 

Jenny gave another wettish honk of her gurgling mudhorn so Timmy could finish his Dirrty Sanchez motif.
 

These fucking hipster bags with their gross mustaches all need to be driven off of a cliff. I would say that they are bothering me much more than the Guidobags, Inland Empirebags or Chicagobags. These emaciated nut lickers in their ugly non ironic outfits are ruining New York.

Hey Dali, you are a wanker.
 

At least the JerzGuid makes no effort to even pretend to be intelligent. With the Hipsterbag, they try spewing whatever they read two semesters ago in their failed attempt at college as original though.

Normally less Axe stench, though, which is nice. Except that you can then smell the poo much more clearly.
 

sigh...i was so afraid of this since the last hipster douche you profiled...this is the worst of the worst as ive said before...mostly because they love to appear and ruin places that are NOT douchy in any way shape or form...at least the other bags have their places to be where they can torment the hotts and deny their gayness by calling it bromance...its sequestered and i dont have to see them except for the pages of this here fine website...but my beloved underground music clubs? stay the fuck away!...this problem needs to be tackled immediately
 

why did they need to make a film about the "persistence of scrotery"?

i will never understand these artsy film people.
 

What kinda man has il mostaccio? I'll show you what kinda man has il mostaccio:

Bella mia, you tried the rest, now you try the best, No?
 

I'm kind of a fan of moustaches, actually. Not the caterpillar molestache, I mean, but a real 'stache with effort. As much as his whole outfit sucks, the stache is cool. For kicks, Mr. B. decided to grow 'un baffone' after we had a good laugh over the Family Guy moustache episode. It was a big crazy Lemmy 'stache. Took some getting used to, but I really dug it after a while.

I'll just say that Spiny Norman brought back a very pleasant memory.
 

@ La Oblongata 8:54

Happy to do it.

Although, I hope that Signore B didn't look anything like Papa Geppetto. That would be very troublesome, because it could mean you are Troy's stepmother.
 

I liked him best in "The Discreet Stench of the Poo-schwazie"
 

You know, I actually prefer my douches to wear Liberty of London floral print baseball caps on top their curly tendril poo-gelled hair. That matches their 'staches.

And I like the Salvador Dollies they so often attract, especially the ones with Bright Angel Eyes and Sleeping Beauty turquoise chandelier earrings. And Grand Tetons, and Grander Canyons.
 

Don't hate, Justin Long had to grow the mustache for a Civil War movie he's doing. And the hat is for...um, actually, the hat just sucks.