Sunday, February 07, 2010
Superbowl Sunday
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He'll NEVER play in THAT GAME if he stays in Detroit.He will however be able to bag plenty of Rust Belt cuties.The ones that Kid Rock does'nt bag.
Matt Stafford's recipe for Atomic Buffalo Turds is held in Fort Knox and is encrypted with a transposition cipher.
Matt Stafford snorts anthrax through two dollar bills every Tuesday night before masterbating to German porn.
Matt Stafford recently motorboated some chick with DD breasts. Haiti will never forgive him for the destruction he caused.
Matt Stafford discovered the cure for AIDs, then genetically modified into an even deadlier form because he was bored.
Note, too, the presence of the not-really-ubiquitous double red cup. This might be the only sighting of this phenomenon during this decade.
You think he's being douchey, but Matt Stafford was only answering the question how many wins the Detroit Lions will have next year. GET SOME....OFFENSIVE LINE HELP!!!
# posted by 
: 2:23 PM
: 2:23 PM
Matt Stafford issued black wrist bands for his own Super Bowl party. They read Get me the f*ck out of Detroit.
Matt Stafford loves to stuff his cockk into his girlfriend but every other time it ended up in some other guy.
I think it's safe to say that Matt Stafford has the nicest man-tits of any starting QB in the NFL. It's also nice to know that the University of Georgia did such a nice job of teaching this young man how to act in the presence of a camera, a bleeth and red cups.
And if this is just a Matt Stafford look-alike, that is akin to being a Jm J Bullock look-alike.
And if this is just a Matt Stafford look-alike, that is akin to being a Jm J Bullock look-alike.
@'Sock, 6:52 p.m. -
First off, congrats to your local boys on a well-played game!
I guess you had better take drastic measures to get out of DC.
First off, congrats to your local boys on a well-played game!
I guess you had better take drastic measures to get out of DC.
Sigh... I wrote this a few days ago in the Bucky Thread:
==============================
The consequence is: the future is easy to tell with larger entropic systems than smaller. And the smaller it gets, the less predictable it becomes - kind of like Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, only applied to events in time. So a VERY large entropic system, like the sun's hydrogen fusion cycle, is very easy to predict, with a fair amount of accuracy. But stuff like how many times will Ass Pear LaPlante fill my imagination this afternoon is much less predictable, and can only be rendered in terms of probabilities due to a variety of branchings in the 2.x dimensional time field.
So, the game? Most of the branches led to Dallas losing to San Diego. But things didn't work out that way. Right now most of the branches show a Colts win. But it depends on the focus of the Colts offensive front line in the third quarter. Look for a few critical false start penalties, resulting in a craptastic pressure throw and interception... That won't win it for the Saints, but many branches start that way. There's another tiny branch where a stray seagull shits right in the Colts QB eye just as he's about to toss the ball resulting in a fumble and an injury. But that's a very tiny tiny tiny branch. As I said - small things are harder to predict. The sun dying? Easy. The collapse of industrial society? Not as easy, hard to get the exact timing right, but just as inevitable. So, a football game? VERY hard to predict.
==============================
So, it seems the branches for the Saints worked out.
They were there, just not as strong as the Colts.
Now, don't you fuckin' people EVER doubt my oracular powers again.
And that was pretty fucking accurate all things considered. On a FOOTBALL game which is very hard to predict.
So when it comes to the BIG stuff, which is way easier to predict, kindly LISTEN THE FUCK UP.
Boooya!
==============================
The consequence is: the future is easy to tell with larger entropic systems than smaller. And the smaller it gets, the less predictable it becomes - kind of like Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, only applied to events in time. So a VERY large entropic system, like the sun's hydrogen fusion cycle, is very easy to predict, with a fair amount of accuracy. But stuff like how many times will Ass Pear LaPlante fill my imagination this afternoon is much less predictable, and can only be rendered in terms of probabilities due to a variety of branchings in the 2.x dimensional time field.
So, the game? Most of the branches led to Dallas losing to San Diego. But things didn't work out that way. Right now most of the branches show a Colts win. But it depends on the focus of the Colts offensive front line in the third quarter. Look for a few critical false start penalties, resulting in a craptastic pressure throw and interception... That won't win it for the Saints, but many branches start that way. There's another tiny branch where a stray seagull shits right in the Colts QB eye just as he's about to toss the ball resulting in a fumble and an injury. But that's a very tiny tiny tiny branch. As I said - small things are harder to predict. The sun dying? Easy. The collapse of industrial society? Not as easy, hard to get the exact timing right, but just as inevitable. So, a football game? VERY hard to predict.
==============================
So, it seems the branches for the Saints worked out.
They were there, just not as strong as the Colts.
Now, don't you fuckin' people EVER doubt my oracular powers again.
And that was pretty fucking accurate all things considered. On a FOOTBALL game which is very hard to predict.
So when it comes to the BIG stuff, which is way easier to predict, kindly LISTEN THE FUCK UP.
Boooya!
@DarkSock
Congratulations to your Saints. I have some friends down in the Delta. They said they'd turn over a police car in your name.
Then pee in some Bourbon Street tourist butts.
It's the least I can do.
Congratulations to your Saints. I have some friends down in the Delta. They said they'd turn over a police car in your name.
Then pee in some Bourbon Street tourist butts.
It's the least I can do.
@Troy Tempest
Ya know, when I tell them in Vegas that a little wooden soldier puppet told me to bet on the Brewers to take the 2010 series in six, they won't even bat an eye.
You are genious.
I expect more and better prognostications in the coming year.
And by prognostications I mean multiple O's for Mrs. Scrotato Head.
Ya know, when I tell them in Vegas that a little wooden soldier puppet told me to bet on the Brewers to take the 2010 series in six, they won't even bat an eye.
You are genious.
I expect more and better prognostications in the coming year.
And by prognostications I mean multiple O's for Mrs. Scrotato Head.
Who Dat peein' in public?
Saints fans on Bourbon Street right about now!
They might as well cancel Monday in New Orleans; hell, they just cancelled it here in DC. Wussies.
Saints fans on Bourbon Street right about now!
They might as well cancel Monday in New Orleans; hell, they just cancelled it here in DC. Wussies.
Samurai Scrote hand-made all of the footballs used in tonight's Superbowl game using nothing but his ball hair and chocolate pudding skins.
Verified to be true.
Verified to be true.
Hey, lay off the comments about Drew Brees' birthmark.
He's a better quarterback than you'll ever be an architect, and that's God's Truth and the Purdue tradition for ya.
Go find some other snowball fight.
He's a better quarterback than you'll ever be an architect, and that's God's Truth and the Purdue tradition for ya.
Go find some other snowball fight.
Hell, Dane Cook is a better comedian than I'll ever be an architect.
And it's not a birthmark, it's a Samurai Scrote lamp burn. We do not speak of such things.
And it's not a birthmark, it's a Samurai Scrote lamp burn. We do not speak of such things.
I saw him on the bus once and the guy I was with freaked out "Oh my gosh do you see him? That's Matt Stafford!" My response was "Uh, who?" And that kids is how I learned who my (former) quarterback is.
If you threw a football up in the air John Elway used to be able to hit it in mid-air with another football. Today if you throw a football in the air, Matt Stafford will have impregnated your girlfriend before it hits the ground.
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# posted by : 7:09 AM
: 7:09 AM << Home
