A: A douchebag is not defined as simply a series of hand gestures, facial expressions, overly gelled hair or a giant Jesus bling around the neck. A douchebag is a state of mind. It is a place where men go to become scrote. Where machismo mixes with testosterone to form a foul cocktail of rank sewage that smells vaguely of cheap cologne.
Q: What is "The Grieco"?
A: The Grieco refers to the early 90s b-movie actor and star of 21 Jump Street, Richard Grieco. Richard Grieco spent much of the 1990s perfecting the douchebag look with his overly quaffed hair, excessive bling, tats, and leather jacket over a wife-beater t-shirt. Grieco is the source template for the modern day Douchebag, and so he has attained exalted status on our douche shrine and scrote hierarchy. Others, like The Baio, The Tyson, the Bluntbag and even our long missing The Shocker are sources of 'bag radiation. But none can compare to The Grieco for sheer pull.
Q: Well then what is "The Bleeth" or "Fair Maiden Bleeth"?
A: Fair Maiden Bleeth refers to television star and Baywatch beauty Yasmine Bleeth. A former wonder of nature, Fair Maiden Bleeth found herself enthralled and charmed by The Grieco in the mid 1990s. Her time spent in the presence of such unholy douchitude infected her with enough Grieco 'Bag Virus to kill a large horse, yet Fair Maiden Bleeth survived. Barely. Her coked out mug shot after four years of being exposed to such heinous douchitude can be seen in the archives of this blog. She is the warning to all hotties featured on this site of what awaits them if they continue down the ‘bag path to greasy scrotitude.
Q: What exactly is Cleavite?
A: Cleavite is not cleavage, and the two shall never be confused. Cleavite is the area of a woman’s cleavage that is paler than the rest due to less exposure to the sun. It is all that is holy and good in the universe. It tempts us with what is forbidden yet is being subtly and coyly revealed. It promises us wonders and worlds of exploration hidden behind that thin layer of fabric. Cleavite is like Manna from heaven. It also summons the douchebag like moths to electric blue light.
Q: Aren't all douchebags from Jersey?
A: While the douche force is strong in Jersey, it is not the only typhoid Mary of the Grieco virus. Jersey Douches remain the most obvious of the mockable scumbuckets who continue to molest hotties on a daily basis, and they will always have a home here at HCwDB. But we also explore the secondary and tertiary douche. The tonguebags, the handbags, the cactus heads and yes even the Fratchoads.
Q: I'm in a picture and upset and would like you to remove it. How can I do that?
A: If you're spiritually weak and cannot sustain the verbal beating you or your loved one morally deserves, simply email me at douchebag1@hotchickswithdouchebags.com, specify that it is you in the pic and you'd like it removed, and I will remove it. Or if a comment in the comments thread relays any personal information and I missed it (I don't check all comments), email me and I will delete the comment.
Q: I hear you're writing a book on the HCwDB phenomenon. I think you're a genius with six-pack abs and are completely un-'Baggy in your handsome visage. Other than wanting to celebrate your supreme physical superiority, how can I submit my HCwDB picture to be included in your book?
A: First off, thank you for the praise of my physical superiority. I am the Nietzschean ubermensch personified, so your praise is well justified. As to submitting pics for inclusion in the book, if you are the photographer who took the pic, email me a hi-res copy of the pic and if it works, I will email you back a release form.
Send all submissions for the book at 300 dpi or higher to douchebag1@hotchickswithdouchebags.com. You will receive a photo credit and a thank you in the book.
Q: When does the book come out?
A: Summer of 2008 from Simon Spotlight Entertainment. There will be a book release party in Vegas. Alcohol will be consumed.
Q: Can I submit a pic even if I did not take the pic but simply found it in the swampland of MySpace?
A: Absolutely. But only if it has all the ingredients of a sick, disturbing, possibly arousing but most certainly headache inducing HCwDB combo effect. That means the photo must have one of each - one hot girl and one douched out jackass. Not one OR the other. Both. While I enjoy the bazillion prom photos people keep sending me, those pics don't apply. Nor do six jackwad douchebags in a row with nary a hottie in sight. Please only send true HCwDB pics, and make sure the file sizes are small and the photos are at least 600 pixels wide. Send submissions to douchebag1@hotchickswithdouchebags.com.
A: Because I'm a drunk and angry scrote myself, and I have to double fist bottles of tasty Night Train wine when I realize how many sweet, innocent young beauties are being groped by pathetic, greased up knobs as we speak.
Q: What’s the deal with the fact you tend to drink Night Train, PBRs, Thunderbird and Irish Rose?
A: It's cheap, it's good, and it's cheap. And it tastes like your moms.
